Caught in the Act: Groundwork On What Not To Do (3339 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1.97 on 59 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (View user info) at 2005-02-16 09:41:14 EST
I was pouring myself a cup of coffee today when it dawned on me. I've been caught during a sexual display on four separate occasions. In each occasion, I reacted inappropriately, most likely because I was stuck in the moment. Each of the four times I was caught were different; once I was getting head, another time I was performing cunnilingus, once a girl was riding me and another time, I was going to town doggy style.
I was dating a chick that lived in a dorm at her college. We got back from partying pretty late at night, and her room was dark. We looked over toward her roommate's bed and noticed that it was empty. Usually, her roommate gave her the courtesy of either sleeping out in on the sofa in the common area, or staying with her boyfriend. We figured this was the case.
This girl was a professional. I mean, I'm not talking about your run-of-the-mill head. No way. It was like a performance. She had these gorgeous c-cups, and she would start out by playing around with the shaft and rubbing it between her firm breasts. Then she would tease it with her tongue, working the balls and the surrounding area, and just before she shoved it in her mouth, she'd lick the whole shaft, from base to tip, on every side, and BAM! She'd be on that cock like it was her job. When she was choking it back, she knew to jack the shaft off with a free hand. It was like a work of art every time.
So she's in the middle of sucking it, and her roommate enters quietly. My girl didn't hear her come in probably because she was under the covers and immersed in her task, and I guess her roommate was sort of drunk, so she didn't hear the sounds of the sucking at first. I suddenly became silent. I was nearing climax, and I didn't want to stop. So I start to blow it in my girl's mouth, and I couldn't remain silent anymore. I start grunting and groaning with the sweet release of satisfaction, just as her roommate's eyes became adjusted to the darkness.
The roomie flipped the fuck out. She was this big black chick, a basketball player from the streets of the Bronx, and she was not pleased.
"Motha fucka! Why didn't you tell me to get out! All of a sudden you start moanin' and shit, what the fuck is wrong wit you, nigga? Shit!"
Needless to say, my girlfriend was quite pissed that I didn't stop her as well. Luckily, the roommate eventually accepted our repeatde apologies. She was also pissed that we didn't lock the door. I ended up in the doghouse that night, but eventually I was able to smooth things over. I ended up buying her roommate KFC for dinner the following night.
In high school, I was dating this chick that had recently discovered the wonders of getting eaten out by someone who is pretty good at it. So I'm doing my thing, I've got her clit in between my lips and I'm tonguing it gently, and she's going wild. Similarly to the story in Mallrats, she had her legs wrapped around my head, making my auditory senses subdued.
In the middle of it all, her little brother walks in. This kid is like eleven years old or something. She doesn't notice - she's got her back arched and her head is basically lodged in between the headboards. I didn't notice because I was occupied with the matter at hand. We finally noticed when the little tyke spoke up.
"Hey sis? Are you okay?" the little bastard says.
My girlfriend yelps, then she wraps her calves completely around my back, and rolls over.
"Andrew, we're having a wrestling match and I'm winning! Now shut the door and go back downstairs!"
I faintly hear the sound of little footsteps as her little brother dashes from the room, followed by the slam of a door. Then she released me from her kung-fu grip as I gasped for air.
"What are you doing? Don't stop!" she exclaimed.
"But I need-" I was cut off when she grabbed me by my hair and shoved my face back into her crotch. Interestingly enough, she had an orgasm within like thirty seconds. After that, we included naked wrestling into our repertoire.
I was dating another nympho sophomore year of college. I took her virginity around September of that year, and by November, the girl wanted to have sex literally every chance we had. I wasn't complaining. She had developed an interesting fetish with me as well; when we were getting hot and heavy in the back of my car once, we had sex with the song "Closer" by NIN playing in the background.
You should try it sometime; the lyrics really make sex interesting.
So she's in my dorm room, and she whips out the CD. I had a sweet stereo system in that joint, full Dolby 5.1 with Klipshe speakers and a twelve inch powered sub. It rocked. So she puts the track on repeat, locks the door, and starts tearing clothes off (both mine and hers). It was hot. She gets on top of me, inserts and starts going to town (how sweet of a deal is this: when I met her, she was a virgin, but she was already on the pill due to an irregular period or something - we never used condoms - I miss that life).
I WANT TO FEEL YOU FROM THE INSIDE! I WANT TO FUCK YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL!
The music is blaring and she's jumping up and down on me like a trampoline. The phone to my dorm room started ringing, so she slams down the receiver violently and then throws the phone across the room. It ends up off the hook, obviously. I didn't care, I was having too much fun.
Obviously when my roommate got to the door and knocked, we simply didn't hear him. He, and his parents right behind him, probably figured I couldn't hear him with the music blasting. So he unlocks the door and walks in.
Her back was to them, so they didn't really see much except perhaps her ass slamming into my balls, but Dave's mother gave out a scream I'll never forget. His did, this portly little Jewish surgeon from Southern California, seemed frozen. The only thing I could think to do, which in hindsight was pretty stupid, was to flip her over and jump on top of her to guard against having them see anymore. Now, just imagine what that must have looked like - me grabbing this chick and essentially opening my ass up to these poor folks. Not a pretty sight. Dave's dad eventually became mobile and scurried out of the room. Things were pretty awkward between his family and me after that.
Last but not least - the time I was caught mid-doggystyle. I met this girl out in a party in Island Park, and her family had a speedboat that they had docked in a slip off the Great South Bay. She and I had been hanging out for a couple of weeks, and we went out on a date to a nice little restaurant near the docks one lovely summer evening. We ended up making out for a while dockside, when she tells me that she wants me to take her to her father's boat. The sun was setting as we climbed onto the 24' Four Winns cruiser, and we crept down into the cabin. The boat had an open cabin set up. The cabin on the boat was completely enclosed on the bow, but the rear part of the cabin was covered by a canvas tarp, which acted as a full enclosure. When cruising, the tarp was removable to open up the cabin. It was quite a nice design.
She dragged me into the cabin and we started going at it. A 24' boat isn't very large, so at one point, we found out that the best way to fuck was by doing it on the floor, and since neither of us wanted to actually lay down on the floor, doggystyle was the only way. Plus, she told me it was her favorite position because she could finger her clit mid-fuck. Problem solved.
I'm banging this chick hardcore style, and she's rubbing herself with her right hand and holding onto the handrail at the top of the cabin with the other. We got so into it, in fact, that we were kind of thrashing around violently, and she was grabbing a hold onto anything she could to keep going. Unfortunately, she grabbed onto the canvas briefly, and it broke away from the metal fasteners and came off, leaving us exposed. Of course, her dock slip neighbors had just tied on adjacent to her boat, and they got a good long look at the action.
My initial reaction was uncontrolled, as if some beast had been released inside of me. I raised one arm and flexed my bicep, and pointed off to the distance with my other. I just couldn't help it. It looked so cool.
"Oh my God!" she cried, scrambling out from under me towards the open entryway. She pushed the tarp back to its closed position, snapping it back into the clasps. Luckily, she didn't see my flexing display of manhood.
"I'm so embarrassed!" she said. "They're friends of my family!"
This was the only time that I wasn't able to finish what I started after getting caught. She wasn't in the mood anymore. Instead, she offered to let me jack off to her naked body. Seemed kind of stupid to me, but then again, I'll never understand women. Why the hell couldn't she at least stroke it for me? Whatever. Since the whole episode had been built up so much, I blew a Peter North quality load all over her chest and neck in the cabin of that boat. She didn't like that too much either. Women.
In hindsight, even though my reactions were pretty stupid across the board, I wouldn't take them back. If had done the right thing - hopped off, pulled out, shoved off, or jumped back, then the moment would have been ruined and I would've ended up with a nasty case of blue balls and an unsatisfied woman. The images of the horrified faces of those that caught me will forever be emblazoned in my mind. And what is life, but a fleeting string of lasting memories?
User Reviews
Submitted by compEngineer0 (user info) at 2006-08-10 08:34:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by snarf (user info) at 2005-03-16 06:37:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i once rang my mates house during the throws of passion, his mum apparently answered and thought it was a dirty phonecall.
i dont get invited round for dinner anymore
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-03-05 15:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Zoidberg, why did you kill my two best evers? Any particular reason?
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-03 22:00:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing says sorry to a fat black chick like a bucket of KFC.
Submitted by Revolutionman (user info) at 2005-03-03 21:41:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
cant wait for my own.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-03-03 13:48:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
though only this will tell me for sure - 52
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-03-03 13:47:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think I figured something out
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-03-02 01:53:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed, LOUDLY, at least 8 times during this. And that usually only happens with Family Guy, or when I'm drunk.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-02-24 13:34:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
damn you have HORRIBLE luck
Submitted by cheruboo (user info) at 2005-02-22 22:00:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CJRipley (user info) at 2005-02-21 18:13:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Closer" by NIN playing in the background
. . . Beautiful!
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2005-02-21 17:44:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Demolocke (user info) at 2005-02-19 22:32:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious
Submitted by daveybwoy (user info) at 2005-02-17 05:15:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
great
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-02-16 23:43:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
best thread evar
Submitted by BrittInToledo (user info) at 2005-02-16 23:33:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MrRottenTreats (user info) at 2005-02-16 23:04:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my God!" she cried, scrambling out from under me towards the open entryway. She pushed the tarp back to its closed position, snapping it back into the clasps. Luckily, she didn't see my flexing display of manhood.
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2005-02-16 20:11:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Wizard (user info) at 2005-02-16 16:53:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2005-02-16 16:38:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's been too long.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-02-16 16:36:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-02-16 11:27:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your my hero. My dad walked in once on me and my then girlfriend sucking it like she was mad at it. He opened the door, our eyes met, he gave me the thumbs up sign and closed the door. A few years back, an ex of mine and I were fucking in the spoon position and her little sister walked in. We were under the covers and little sis hopped into the bed with us. It was so wrong.
===========================================================================================
So...did you finish?
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-02-16 15:08:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
most likely to have a 15 stripper peanutbutter gangbang: 1.21 giganuts
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-02-16 14:46:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ohh, the stories...
good fun.
nice touch on bateman.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-16 14:15:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What can I say that hasn't allready been said?
I know...
Jolly Good Show Old Chap!!!
-Dave
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2005-02-16 13:40:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Easily the greatest thing you have ever written.
Maybe it's because late one evening not three weeks ago...my lady's supple ass lay bare on the sturdy oak of my kitchen table with her slender legs hitched over my shoulders. I could literally feel the electric pulse of her quivering arms as she tightly gripped the round edges of the wood for dear life, writhing in delight as I swung for the fences like Bonds looking for number 73.
What I could not feel, however, were the eyes of my 9-year old nephew behind us...awake from a bad dream...in search of a drink of water.
Odds on the poor kid growing up to be the next Jeffrey Dahmer...even money.
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2005-02-16 13:30:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Grin (user info) at 2005-02-16 13:28:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-02-16 12:52:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
memories...
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-02-16 12:30:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-02-16 12:17:31 (#)
Ranking: 2
Similarly to the story in Mallrats, she had her legs wrapped around my head, making my auditory senses subdued
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wasn't that Chasing Amy?
-----------------------------------------------
Yeah, you're right, I stand corrected. I think it was the scene in the bar when they're comparing stories. I always get those flicks mixed up.
Thanks.
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-02-16 12:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Similarly to the story in Mallrats, she had her legs wrapped around my head, making my auditory senses subdued
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wasn't that Chasing Amy?
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-02-16 11:47:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-02-16 11:27:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your my hero. My dad walked in once on me and my then girlfriend sucking it like she was mad at it. He opened the door, our eyes met, he gave me the thumbs up sign and closed the door. A few years back, an ex of mine and I were fucking in the spoon position and her little sister walked in. We were under the covers and little sis hopped into the bed with us. It was so wrong.
--------------------------------------------------------
The girl I was eating out in the story above - we used to do the same thing... every Sunday, her parents had me over for dinner and I would be upstairs, fucking her in the spoon, and we even left the door open a crack since her parents made us. Her dad would be shouting upstairs when dinner was ready while his daughter was filled with my cock.
Another time, I was sneaking a girl out of my parents' house and my mom was in the kitchen with my father. I snuck her over to the front door and my dad saw, so immediately he diverts my mother's attention to an article in the paper... Seems like you and I live parallel lives.
Good show.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-02-16 11:31:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
EatMe...
"We were under the covers and little sis hopped into the bed with us. It was so wrong."
Don't hate me for saying this but...
PEDOPHILE!
Kidding...
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-02-16 11:28:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-02-16 11:27:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Your my hero. My dad walked in once on me and my then girlfriend sucking it like she was mad at it. He opened the door, our eyes met, he gave me the thumbs up sign and closed the door. A few years back, an ex of mine and I were fucking in the spoon position and her little sister walked in. We were under the covers and little sis hopped into the bed with us. It was so wrong.
Submitted by BludKake (user info) at 2005-02-16 11:13:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You da man.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-16 11:08:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You sir, are the man.
Submitted by garcon_fou (user info) at 2005-02-16 11:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:46:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My initial reaction was uncontrolled, as if some beast had been released inside of me. I raised one arm and flexed my bicep, and pointed off to the distance with my other. I just couldn't help it. It looked so cool.
I got caught doing this to a mirror in my bedroom in college during the deed, the girl wasn't too impressed by my shenanigans.
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:42:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:26:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
"No, put it on a coaster!"
-----------------------------------------
"No, put it in the carton!"
You confused that for when Patrick runs over and puts the coaster down before his secretary gives the cop his water in the office.
I am obsessed with that movie.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:32:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I raised one arm and flexed my bicep, and pointed off to the distance with my other.
====================
aaaaaaaahahhahahahahahahahaha snort gasp ahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahha
hahhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahawheezegasphaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahhahaha
breathe, breathe, ok. I'm done.
giggle
snort.
fuck. hhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahah
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:26:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"No, put it on a coaster!"
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:26:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
American Psycho.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:25:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fantastic stories.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:24:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I raised one arm and flexed my bicep, and pointed off to the distance with my other. I just couldn't
help it. It looked so cool."
Damn you for burning a mental picture of Doc Brown in this pose with Marty's girlfriend from Back to the Future. :p
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:21:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Niiiiiice
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:20:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What do you mean, Donk?
We were caught last week by the night porter, Miguel...
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:09:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I usually fuck to "Under Skin" if I'm going to fuck to NIN. The bass line lets you get into a good rythm. Or anything by Crystal Method. Regardless, I've never been caught. Never.
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:08:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:05:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Stuff Right Here Folks
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:04:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2mil for the American Psycho reference and pic... "DON'T TOUCH THE WATCH!"
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-02-16 10:01:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
..........................
I hate you and all your sexcapades...
Why can't you stay home to a nice homecooked meal once in a while?
I worked REALLY hard on it and... God, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...
I... I just snapped. But I try so hard for you, and this is what I get in return?
Showing off for your friends at my expense?
Well, DAMN YOU GIG! DAMN YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL SKILLS AS A LOVER! I'm leaving and going to GLALL's place!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-02-16 09:59:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"My initial reaction was uncontrolled, as if some beast had been released inside of me. I raised one arm and flexed my bicep, and pointed off to the distance with my other. I just couldn't help it. It looked so cool."
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
I'm going to laugh about that all day!
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-02-16 09:59:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha!
"She was this big black chick, a basketball player from the streets of the Bronx, and she was not pleased....I ended up buying her roommate KFC for dinner the following night."
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-02-16 09:55:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yep. holarious
Submitted by alwaysoutnumbered (user info) at 2005-02-16 09:54:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2. now i need to go wake up my girlfriend.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-02-16 09:54:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sabrina, don't just stare at it, eat it.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-16 09:51:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's almost 10am....
Must be time for my daily dose of 1Point21 gets some more action.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-02-16 09:50:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
for NIN, you get a +2.
but for this:
"My initial reaction was uncontrolled, as if some beast had been released inside of me. I raised one arm and flexed my bicep, and pointed off to the distance with my other. I just couldn't help it. It looked so cool."
..you get a +1,000,000.
good show chap.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-02-16 09:49:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck ing hilarious
My initial reaction was uncontrolled, as if some beast had been released inside of me. I raised one arm and flexed my bicep, and pointed off to the distance with my other. I just couldn't help it. It looked so cool.