People I'd Probably Hit With a Shovel (1271 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.4 on 47 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Lita <cpcreed2000.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-16 17:05:18 EST
I find that during the course of my life (particularly nowadays) that I am surrounded by many, many people who, for some reason unbeknownst to me, feel that they are better than everyone else. I suppose the problem isn't that they feel that way, but they build huge fronts to facilitate this farce. They cover themselves in this robe of superiority that only further indicates that their whole face is an ass (that no expensive makeup or couture can cover).
First place I'll have to visit is my family. My cousin Mark is a typical mama's boy. He's a sophomore in high school now and she's up his ass about everything he does. Not only is she a smothering domina-bitch, she looks at status through clothes.
This is a conversation I had with her once:
"Hey Aunt Pam. How's Mark doing?"
"Besides from his grades, all right. I've noticed he's been getting interested in girls."
"Oh, he has a girlfriend? He macks it? *laughs*"
"I've noticed he's going to school in his abercrombie and fitch—"
All right. I'm going to stop there. I don't know if this disgusts you, but it sent me retching. I can't stand name-brand things and when someone notices if someone looks nice just BECAUSE he wears the name brand? Fuck you, you pretentious, ass-lapping whore. Get some class. Sure, some good looks can be bought (check out any plastic surgeon), but everyone knows that clothes can only go so far. Too bad your son needs a price tag to try to impress a lady. All you need is a nice peener and a sense of humor.
My school, unfortunately, is so much worse. I go to Baruch College. The shittiest 4-year school ever. We don't have a campus. No dorms. It's ass. To add insult to injury, it's specialty is business. I hate this place. So. Much.
Now, being really a subway stop school, I'd figure people would dress comfortably. I know I would never, on a regular day at school, come in a miniskirt 5" heels and decked out in my best armpit pink lipgloss. Fuck no. I'm tired from studying and having a life. I throw on a pair of jeans and a hoodie. I don't give a toss about how I look because when I'm at school, I'm trying to LEARN, not get LAID.
Not these girls. These girls are special. Shallow wastes of time that fill up spaces with menial jabberings of how their weekend clubhoppings went and how someone would be so much hotter if they "worked out". They come to school with imitation Louise Vutton, Coach, and Velour Couture bags. I have no idea why someone would buy these things in the first place...they're shit brown with someone else's name strewn all over it. Oh yeah, it's because it's $500 a frigging bag. Posers.
Then they have on anything fuzzy. If it's white and fuzzy, they stick it on themselves and call it a shirt. I swear to God. They must stalk the streets killing small kittens and rats for their ugly clothes. They also slap on velour so tight that I can see the seams holding on for dear life. I hate velour, they make anyone look like they have a big, fat, ass that jiggles and wiggle with gross intensities. Ick. They're also always in ugly colors, these velours...Brown, Pink...What the hell.
You know, I'd actually understand trying to look nice once in a while. Take a day and look sexy, even. But, frankly, these girls don't really look sexy, they are trashy. Slutty trashy, and I know guys would have no problem with these girls. But whatever.
As I mentioned before, my college is mostly for business majors. Now, there are only three types of people who go into business:
1. People who are good at math and have no other passion than to crunch numbers all day. They probably have been forced into this by their parents. They wear abercrombie and fitch.
2. People who have no other interests whatsoever. They can't read, can't write, and can't even add or subtract. Why are they in school, you ask? I don't know, ask them. They typically go into business because "money is there" and go with a Marketing or Management major.
3. People who are just slimy business people. They like to hail taxis. They enjoy to wear suits. They adore making business cards. Ever see the Kids in the Hall where the kid adopts the businessman? Yes, that's them.
Me? I'm an English Lit major. It's hilarious when professors call roll to see what our majors are :
Finance, Accounting, Finance, Marketing, Marketing, English Lit...O.o;
Ultimately, they're everywhere I go. These people. People who immerse themselves in money because they don't really have much of a personality.
Damn cunts.
User Reviews
Submitted by Captnplnt (user info) at 2005-02-21 00:48:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good golly, english majors rule.
Submitted by BlackMan (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:54:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you fuckin happy now, midge?
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:07:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hidden101 (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:44:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:17:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
An major in English and you structured this gem: They enjoy to wear suits.?
Bravo.
=====================================================
oh, the irony...
-------------------
You make it even more ironic - as I'm not the English major. Fucking asshole, what are you turning into anyway Hidden, the Uber-moral-police? Christ you used to actually be fun. Now I just wish you'd fuck off already. You're just like Kai, following me around just for the opportunity to get a jab in. Does it make you feel better?
Talk to me when you finally pull the 2x4 out of your ass. Or don't, just get off my fucking back.
Submitted by KBCommando (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:56:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Power to the English majors! Your life will become even more useless and rage-filled when you get out of college, so enjoy the scenery while you can..comeing from one who knows. The stupid and infuriating people only abound more and more and you will be working a dead-end job with little to no end in sight....alas, i digress. College rules! Never leave. And to all the stupid people, just pwn them and move on. If I hit everyone I wanted to with a shovel, blood would run in beautiful rivers through the streets and gutters.
COMING, i can spell, i SWR!
Submitted by KBCommando (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:55:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Power to the English majors! Your life will become even more useless and rage-filled when you get out of college, so enjoy the scenery while you can..comeing from one who knows. The stupid and infuriating people only abound more and more and you will be working a dead-end job with little to no end in sight....alas, i digress. College rules! Never leave. And to all the stupid people, just pwn them and move on. If I hit everyone I wanted to with a shovel, blood would run in beautiful rivers through the streets and gutters.
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:44:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:17:36 (#)
Ranking: 0
An major in English and you structured this gem: They enjoy to wear suits.?
Bravo.
=====================================================
oh, the irony...
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:40:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't let them get you down girl.
+2 for being female and using the word cunt
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:30:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great rant.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:18:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's so much more fun to write it down and enteretain others. It's an exaggeration of some basic feelings that everyone has, therefore, by putting it into print others can relate and all can laugh.
That is why I did what I did.
Submitted by Loren1 (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:17:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
An major in English and you structured this gem: They enjoy to wear suits.?
Bravo.
Seriously, I hate people as a whole just as much as the next guy, but rather than bitch and moan about what they choose to do with their lives, why not just ignore them and move on with yours?
Or better yet, plow into them with your car. Shit or get off the pot, as they say...
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:10:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:09:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
don't mind HZRD. he's a goddamned idiot.
******
I've found out, firsthand!
Yay!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:09:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
don't mind HZRD. he's a goddamned idiot.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:59:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:52:09 (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm a Marketing professional and I picked this career because I love lying to people in creative ways. I hate A+F, the Gap, any shit like that. +1 because I hated the majority of my business classmates.
Judging by your posts, good luck with your "book" hahahahahha... no serioiusly though, have fun being an english professor. -2.
********************************
Hey Genius, you didn't read the third bullet including where you obviously fit in.
Also, yes, Marketing is such a rewarding and intellectually thriving community in the human spectrum of careers.
Good luck lying to people. I'm glad that's what makes you feel good.
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:52:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I'm a Marketing professional and I picked this career because I love lying to people in creative ways. I hate A+F, the Gap, any shit like that. +1 because I hated the majority of my business classmates.
Judging by your posts, good luck with your "book" hahahahahha... no serioiusly though, have fun being an english professor. -2.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:46:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-17 07:27:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-16 23:38:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shhh you know you like it. ;-)
*****************************
Uh-oh. Must...resist...temptation to flirt!
...
...
How YOU doin'?
DAMN!
*****************
Don't worry, giving into temptation is sooo good ...
Hahahahh
*burp*
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:33:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for wearing my offical uniform of hoodie and jeans, possibly the most comfortable clothes known to man.
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-02-17 07:50:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome post... and I agree with everything you said... except this:
"But, frankly, these girls don't really look sexy, they are trashy. Slutty trashy, and I know guys would have no problem with these girls. But whatever."
I have a problem with those girls. I can't stand them. I need substance in a girl. You know, like "personality" substance... not "oh my God... cocaine? Why am I getting nosebleeds? I'm so cool" substance. "Good" looks get you nowhere with me. Fuckers... I hate them.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-17 07:27:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-16 23:38:37 (#)
Ranking: 0
Shhh you know you like it. ;-)
*****************************
Uh-oh. Must...resist...temptation to flirt!
...
...
How YOU doin'?
DAMN!
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2005-02-17 04:23:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
your hatred is absolutely delicious.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-02-17 02:51:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-17 00:02:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Prolly with their stilettos. I'm only speculating. =D
Submitted by Exodus (user info) at 2005-02-16 23:54:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"They must stalk the streets killing small kittens and rats for their ugly clothes." <--- this made me laugh so hard so +2 but do they do it with a shovel? And it seems money and wealth drive a lot of people, its sad really.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-16 23:38:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shhh you know you like it. ;-)
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-16 23:36:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-16 22:56:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I'm more than glad. I love what you do.
************************
??
What the -- someone who knows who I am?? How odd.
Why did you wait 8 months to post again? Your stuff is pretty good. I'd say post more often, but for God's sake don't. I'm already destroying my life trying to keep up with all the good authors. Stupid Uber.
Submitted by Rokinroj (user info) at 2005-02-16 23:08:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Wow...You have got anger management issues.
Rokinroj
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-16 22:56:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, I'm more than glad. I love what you do.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-16 22:27:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"As I mentioned before, my college is mostly for business majors."
Well, that's the source of your problem right there. I went to a university with a big business department, and there were only a handful of them that I felt didn't deserve a sound ass-whipping.
I like the way you think. So far.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-16 22:04:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wouldn't say rela insightful...just no BS
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-02-16 22:01:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
insightful.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-02-16 21:56:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yessss.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-16 21:46:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
;-) Go Litas!
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-02-16 20:15:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A fun and agreable rant, you get a bonus +2 because i once dated a girl called Lita.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-16 19:06:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's not a complete list. I'm only a sophomore. I'll prolly have more soon.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-16 18:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm actually kind of surprised that I didn't make this list.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-02-16 18:40:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
People with business degrees are mostly idiots. Although, many of the finance people I know are usually ambitious and pretty well off. Of course, I don't associate with idiots.
I remember taking Finance and Business Management for easy electives. There was an ungodly amount of idiots in these classes. Constantly confused on even the simplest subject. What a bunch of fools. I think it's funny how I could get an MBA in two years of night classes while these people spend 4 years holding their genitals. Makes me happy I became an engineer.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-16 18:16:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Manic, you could always hit them with a steel chair and say that ducks are migrating a little early when they ask.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-16 18:16:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WiKi, I love your stories!! I'm so honored with our similiar respect for jars....
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2005-02-16 18:13:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm and English major, also.
Awesomeness in a jar. Or, you know.. it WOULD be, if this post were in a jar. Or, uhh..
Ok, bye.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-16 18:12:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You think business school with the bitches is bad, try going to a mom and tot type class in a bad city. By bad I mean filthy stinking rich.
These rich whores bitch about having to move into 2500 sqft rentals while they rip down their
million dollar homes to put an even bigger one up. Their damn nannys comming in with them so that they can network while they're supposed to be spending time developing their kids minds.
They all carry Coach, the real stuff, and bitch about the "tiny" stipends their husbands give them every week to shop for more useless shit. God I hate them.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-16 18:05:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm not saying that I'm voting for counter culture...I'm saying don't buy something simply because it has a name breand on it. If you read anything, you'd understand what I wrote. Unfortunately, you didn't.
There is nothing wrong with a product if it is of good quality. However, I don't like products that are simply created to advertise a general produced LOOK.
I'm not rebelling from anything, just discussing certain individual's behaviors.
Instead of putting me in a group, try to see where I'm coming from.
Submitted by joefu007 (user info) at 2005-02-16 17:58:31 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Ohhhhh you counter culture REBEL you!!!!! People like you feed right into corporate america's schemes. Whether you shop at Express, Tilly's or Hot Topic you're still feeding some boards coffers. Shit, even second hand clothing stores are trendy.... eventually. Think about that before you rent about what clothes people are wearing. Your Jeans and Hoodie were provided by a big corporate giant also.
Fucking Kids
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/006074586X/ref=ase_airamericarad-20/104-2839361-6731957?v=glance&s=books
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-16 17:56:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*pat pat* It's ok Chile. Think about me...I'm in your position and I never liked business in the first place. Perhaps we should make a coalition...Or just spend afternooons eating marshamllows out of our hot cocoas in consolation of our life's plight.
*fart*
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2005-02-16 17:54:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i go to business school...
i fall under category 2. well... i did.
i know what i want to do now... but i'm already 3 years into this stupid fucking school with these stupid fucking classes that i have no interest in taking.
its hard to pass a class when you hate every moment of being there.
FUCK i hate where i am right now.
*sigh* sorry. had to vent.
good post.
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-02-16 17:53:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm 27
I spent 4 years working with mentally disturbed and juvenile deliquient
teenage girls, one year with juvenile sex offender boys.
I thought I needed a change- so i went back to school.
Now I pay to deal with these people.
Submitted by WhoLetYouIn (user info) at 2005-02-16 17:28:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't feel like getting really obscene ;-)
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-02-16 17:27:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel like you cut yourself off well before the rant was really over, but whatever. I agree with everything you said.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-02-16 17:10:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Stuff, I normally don't linkwhore, but I think you'd appreciate this.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59297