The Oral Sex Dilemma (3550 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.15 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by matnotharry <mattreallysmells.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-16 17:22:20 EST
The following dilemma occurred to me roughly a year ago and was the catalyst for several debates on my sexuality/whether I was safe to be near in the changing rooms/whether various items of my stationary had been up my arse etc.
Despite repeated claims that I was straight as a pin and didn't even know what dog-knotting was, my perceived sexuality remains as ambiguous as Bush's initiatives or the square root of a million.
But this is called digression
------------------------------------------------
The Dilemma
------------------------------------------------
Situation:
You are tied down to a table in a bare room with a beautiful girl smiling opposite you, you cook up a rip-roaring boner within 11 seconds
The lights go out and it is pitch black.
You feel hands on your crotch then a mouth. For the next half an hour you receive the most amazing oral sex in the history of the universe. Your eyes roll back in your head and your nails dig into the table as you shoot your bolt with a force that could blast through five layers of tissue. As you finish your 30 second climax you see God and you know that your life will never be the same again.
The mouth and hands leave your body and there is a scurry of footsteps. The lights come back on and a good-looking guy is standing opposite you, spitting your love champagne into a bottle. He looks at you with a grin.
-------------------------------
Do you enjoy the act any less now that you've discovered it was performed by a guy? And would you go through it again to repeat the experience?
(this was my view) If no, why? This guy just blew you away. Is it really so important that oral sex be performed by a woman? Logically, it makes no difference whether you are tonsil battering a guy or a girl. Maybe the concept of having your wang in a girls mouth overrides the actual pleasure gained from fellatio.
Which brings me nicely onto my second question:
------------
Would you rather receive:
~ a horrifically crap blow-job from a girl (this one would bite and require stitches afterwards)
~ an amazing blow-job from a guy?
------------
Think about it
you know it.bmp (155 kB) [image/x-bmp]
User Reviews
Submitted by orphelia (user info) at 2008-03-09 05:24:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
like this supernatural stuff. I was in Birmingham today and found some graves of people who were born in the 1700s - was a little creepy seeing them all neglected and overgrown. Like you said, I got the willies
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oooh, you were near me, you should have said and stopped by for scones and tea.
I you ever get the chance go to Eyam, Derbyshire. Not only is it terribly pretty, it was hit by the pague in the 1660's and the graves and houses etc that you can walk round are sad and unsettling. I love the black death and stuff like that.
When you visit old graves and they look overgrown it is like being on the set of a horror movie. I always imagine a boney hand reaching out the grass and grabbing my foot.
Being scared is good.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-09-04 13:40:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you are definitely gay for writing this. but I love gays so it's all good.
Submitted by ama (user info) at 2005-07-14 17:30:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2005-07-05 11:42:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Mine was better, sorry
http://www.ubersite.com/m/69958
Submitted by Kazzerax (user info) at 2005-06-26 16:35:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, the way I figure it, you're only ghey if you perform ghey acts.
Not recieve them. Therefore, I'd take the guy, since I'm not ghey.
Submitted by crazybutsolazy (user info) at 2005-06-26 16:18:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
very interesting.....gonna have 2 ask all my guy friends this question.....
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2005-06-26 15:12:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, I'm not sexually attracted to the guy because I don't swing that way. But if he's not skeeved by having a steaming load in his mouth and is dead set on giving me a fantastic blowjob, I don't mind. Not if I get to look at a picture of a hot chick while he does it.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-06-26 14:39:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-26 14:11:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting question.
I'd have to say that I would take neither.
There is nothing that appeals to me about either of these scenarios.
---------------------------------
Nooooo, you can't take 'neither'; you're tied down to a bed. Anyway, I think Cumguzzler has it right.
But if you still don't want to play, tell me if you'd rather:
- eat a live rat
- be responsible for the upbringing and education of a boy with a pigeon's head (and he's your son)
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-06-26 14:11:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting question.
I'd have to say that I would take neither.
There is nothing that appeals to me about either of these scenarios.
Submitted by cumguzzler (user info) at 2005-06-26 13:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh I think we all know the answer to this one, whether the men choose to admit it or not. ;)
Submitted by ama (user info) at 2005-06-23 11:45:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
- being without a penis i can't answer this one, but to those who can, does it make a difference if you know the sexuality of the guy. [that is to say, would you prefere it if he was straight, and not getting hard over you?]
Submitted by Twiddle (user info) at 2005-06-03 03:45:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeah definetly a dude i want to bust a good nut
Submitted by cham0159 (user info) at 2005-06-03 03:37:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmmmm.....thats a tough one
Submitted by Twiddle (user info) at 2005-06-03 03:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I degress is overplayed
Time out
Gamer over
$leAfClover
look I want pro-gress not re-(grets)gress and certainly not di-gress
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2005-06-03 02:55:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-16 22:53:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to give you +1, but this was pretty interesting and brave. So +2 for you.
************
I agree
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:14:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Ignore_the_Small_Print (user info) at 2005-02-17 11:14:12 (#)
Ranking: 1
on a pretty much unrelated note, if that pic is of you
you're purty :)
-----------------
cheers sunshine
-----------
Sungod, dont be scared of men on your willy
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:54:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I suppose I'd be happy that the blowjob was so good, considering I'd never have a boner again.
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:34:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
honestly, i really would have to beat the living shit out of the dude. i'm not homophobic, have had several gay friends, blahblahblah. but accepting the fellatio is under the assumption that it is a female performing it, and finding that to be untrue would make it rape in my eyes. and i would KILL any bitch that thought he could rape me.
then revive him, spit in his eye, and kill him again. slowly this time.
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2005-02-17 11:33:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's a plus two for making me review twice.
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2005-02-17 11:32:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
matnotharry gets what matnotharry wants! And matnotharry wants DUDES!!
Submitted by thaumaturge (user info) at 2005-02-17 11:31:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uhh...
The dude lopping at your member would undoubtedly be imagining fucking you. In the ass. Or vice versa. Or even leave stubble marks on your shaft.
I'll take the horrible session and know that I am still having sexual relations with my gender of choice, without knowing that some dude has a mad bone over me.
Submitted by Ignore_the_Small_Print (user info) at 2005-02-17 11:14:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
on a pretty much unrelated note, if that pic is of you
you're purty :)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-02-17 09:22:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YUCK
Submitted by ak_whitebread (user info) at 2005-02-17 06:34:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Very interesting, that is all I will say.
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-02-17 06:25:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-02-17 03:38:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
"Maybe the concept of having your wang in a girls mouth overrides the actual pleasure gained from fellatio."
That's it for me. I'd choose the poor blowjob from the bitch.
SNAP
Submitted by The_Wizard (user info) at 2005-02-17 06:17:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The guy.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-02-17 03:38:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Maybe the concept of having your wang in a girls mouth overrides the actual pleasure gained from fellatio."
That's it for me. I'd choose the poor blowjob from the bitch.
Submitted by TheJedi (user info) at 2005-02-17 03:04:57 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're right... neither is the answer...
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-02-17 03:02:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Even a bad blow job is still a blow job. Have to go with the girl...
Submitted by disgruntled (user info) at 2005-02-16 23:38:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What the hell?
How come no one thought of zipping up their pants and just leaving?
A bad blow job with razor sharp teeth hurts like a bastard. A guy makes your boner crawl back up into your abdomen. What's the best choice here? Zip up your goddamn pants and leave!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-16 22:53:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Do you enjoy the act any less now that you've discovered it was performed by a guy?"
Uh...damn skippy. That would freak me right the fuck out.
"And would you go through it again to repeat the experience?"
Hell no.
Although, to answer your final question, I'd probably go with the guy blow job if the girl one was going to leave me wounded. But in either case, I cant' say I'd be...er...excited enough for them to get the job done. The girl, because of the pain and the incomparable horror of having a bleeding penis, and the guy, because it's a guy.
There's a theory that homosexuality and heterosexuality are not absolutes. It's a spectrum, or range that we all fall somewhere on. You get people who are predominantly gay or predominantly hetero, but very few who are stone cold 100% in one of those directions. Then you get the ones in the middle who are bi or pretty close to it, and so forth. Sounds to me you're gravitating towards the middle of the road.
Good for you. Shouldn't be too hard to get a date on a lonely Saturday night, then.
I was going to give you +1, but this was pretty interesting and brave. So +2 for you.
Submitted by BongZilla (user info) at 2005-02-16 22:44:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-02-16 22:17:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-02-16 19:16:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-02-16 18:40:27 (#)
Ranking: 1
girl - all day long. for even considering the guy you're as queer as those guys with the eye.
---------------------------------------
you'd rather have stitches in your willy than have a guy go down on you?
--------------------
yes
all
day
long
________________
I second that
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-02-16 22:28:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I say i have to take the chick man .
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-02-16 22:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
girl. without question.
best blow job i ever recieved came from my lady friend. it lasted a total of four minutes; the best words to sum the experience up would be "primal savagery".
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-02-16 22:17:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-02-16 19:16:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-02-16 18:40:27 (#)
Ranking: 1
girl - all day long. for even considering the guy you're as queer as those guys with the eye.
---------------------------------------
you'd rather have stitches in your willy than have a guy go down on you?
--------------------
yes
all
day
long
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-02-16 19:16:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-02-16 18:40:27 (#)
Ranking: 1
girl - all day long. for even considering the guy you're as queer as those guys with the eye.
---------------------------------------
you'd rather have stitches in your willy than have a guy go down on you?
Submitted by Tokerson (user info) at 2005-02-16 18:48:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'd rather take a great blowjob from a guy than need stitches after one from a girl.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2005-02-16 18:45:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-02-16 17:23:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
The square root of a million is a thousand.
------------------------------
apologies; Simpsons reference
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-02-16 18:40:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
girl - all day long. for even considering the guy you're as queer as those guys with the eye.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-16 18:10:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No dilemma, it's fantastic.
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-02-16 17:51:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I threw this same type of question at a friend that was trying to urge his fiancee to let him have anal sex with her.
It was along the lines of "Would you fuck a guy in the ass?"
Of course, he responded "Hell No, Bro! What the fuck?"
I told him "in the dark how do you tell the difference between a male or a female anus?"
He tried to justify that he knew what he was doing when he was with his fiancee, versus anonymous anal sex with someone you can't see.
Submitted by Adjomak (user info) at 2005-02-16 17:39:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sure, why not. Should the girl really use teeth, then I guess I'd go with the guy
Submitted by polymorph505 (user info) at 2005-02-16 17:37:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
bad blow job from a girl, def.
a "good" blow job doesn't last long enough for you to build up a full pant load of squirmy little baby-makers
best blow job I ever got was from an unexperienced chick with braces, blew a hole out the back of her fuckin head. took her like an hour to get the job done and I was numb for like 20 minutes after that.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-02-16 17:23:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The square root of a million is a thousand.