Not for the sensitive (Short) (1010 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: -1.12 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Biz <bizantine.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-16 20:17:23 EST
He turned, and whispered conspiratorially in my ear,
"Don't worry, i've still got some shit up my sleeve."
I recoiled in horror and stared briefly at his self-satisfied expression.
I could not, for the life of me, see how that nauseating and incongruous admission was supposed to
console me on our impending defeat. I found myself thinking back to our handshake earlier, and my stomach churned.
He was still grinningy assininely, as if his faecophillic declaration had solved our problem.
I felt a wave of horripilation down my back as my mind oscillated around that word - "STILL."
Why would he choose that word? what connotations did it have? was I to understand that this was leftover from some bizarre morning routine, like finding a piece of toast stuck in your teeth at 10.30?
Or maybe it was a cunning plan to derail our opponents by mentally scarring them for life; if so it was certainly backfiring.
More importantly, I couldn't help acknowledging the curious way in which it was phrased...as if I were expected to be familiar with this tactic...had it been used on me in the past!?
I was jarred from these thoughts as my partner pulled off a lightning-fast manoevre. I stared in disbelief.
"I told you." he gloated, triumphantly. "We've won."
And so we had. I could have thrown my arms around him, despite the bombshell he had just dropped. He may be a severely disturbed lunatic, but he'd brought us victory, so all was forgiven.
User Reviews
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-02-17 08:46:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Horridpil'ashit
Submitted by The_Wizard (user info) at 2005-02-17 06:02:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Good thing it was short.
Submitted by Mitchapalooza (user info) at 2005-02-17 04:45:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm sure there's content in there somewhere.
But i lost interest after horripilation.
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2005-02-17 00:47:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Use less $10 words that only make you seem like you are trying to use them for the sake of sounding smart. That and if you write a short story, make it a damned story.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-02-17 00:32:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Duh, I can uthe a thethorouth.
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-02-17 00:17:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"It" got on your finger-tips
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-16 22:40:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
"I felt a wave of horripilation down my back"
Horri-pi-whatnow? Let me check this out...
hor·rip·i·la·tion ( P ) Pronunciation Key (hô-rp-lshn, h-)
The bristling of the body hair, as from fear or cold; goose bumps.
Oh. Well, no idea what this post was about, so -1 anyway.
Submitted by Bizantine (user info) at 2005-02-16 22:10:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Maybe your Sharingan's on the blink
Submitted by Kakashi-Sensei (user info) at 2005-02-16 20:36:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Huh?