Semester 2, Episode 4: "Thick Wendy’s Milkshakes Killed A Child" (1206 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.78 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Chronicles of College-Guy, Semester 2 (View user info) at 2005-02-17 04:24:12 EST
*THE CHRONICLES OF COLLEGE-GUY*
Semester 2, Episode 4: "Thick Wendy's Milkshakes Killed A Child"
February 17, 2005
I understand that a lot of people might be offended by this story, but it's pretty damn funny, so worth telling.
As I told you all on Valentines Day, http://www.ubersite.com/m/59670 , I went out for a burger and a chocolate shake to Wendy's the other night. The idiot at the booth had some trouble hearing my order, so I had to make it explicitly clear that I wanted a shake. When I drove off, I discovered that I had gotten a chocolate ice cream instead of the chocolate milkshake I wanted.
Well, being the sociopath I am, I was quite upset with the woman who fucked up my order. I had to get even with her—after all, who wouldn't feel compelled to do the same? So, I followed her home after 1am and saw that she was the mother of a precious little girl. On Valentine's Day, I tricked the bitch's kid into going for a ride with me to find a kitten.
I killed and raped it white it cried. How could this horrible, tragic event be humorous? What could possibly be amusing about the unholy murder of an innocent child?
Well, last night I went out for a pot-smoke and drive. When stoned, I had a religious experience masturbating in the car. Afterwards, I needed to get more napkins to wipe my cum up with. So, I went to the Wendy's in a different town than before and got a burger and a chocolate shake. Guess what? Wendy's milkshakes are made to be so thick, that the only way to eat them is with a spoon. I had mistaken the milkshake from before for an ice cream when it really was not. The lady in at the other place never fucked up, I just thought that she did because these damn Wendy's shakes are so fuckin' glutinous.
I bludgeoned and assaulted a little child all because Wendy's makes really thick shakes.
Isn't that funny? That kid got raped and died for no reason!
User Reviews
Submitted by dudaculb (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:27:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Really not your best, but i wont mess up your ratings
Submitted by Auron (user info) at 2005-02-18 05:32:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I put it to you that you are not the real college guy.
Submitted by JohosaPhaTZ (user info) at 2005-02-17 21:21:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-02-17 07:28:17 (#)
Ranking: -2
if this was counter-strike, you would've been dead already.
Submitted by Zackstersmackster (user info) at 2005-02-17 21:06:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Somehow making a joke out of a child abduction and rape and murder just isn't funny.
Submitted by tragiksaint (user info) at 2005-02-17 17:21:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2005-02-17 14:41:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Well I found it funny.
(...Died for nothin'. Ain't that some shit?)
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:03:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
That's not a shake, asshole, it's a Frosty.
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-02-17 10:14:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You seem like a different person from the original series. I don't like it.
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2005-02-17 09:24:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm only giving you a 1 because it wasn't very long and only pointed out the obvious from your V-Day episode.
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-02-17 08:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Consistency ain't yout strong point, is it?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-02-17 07:57:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-02-17 07:28:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
if this was counter-strike, you would've been dead already.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-02-17 07:07:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
???
too much milkshake, too little story today
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-02-17 05:37:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fancy that!
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-02-17 05:22:32 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't like this.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-02-17 05:01:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Hilarious
Submitted by Naery (user info) at 2005-02-17 04:49:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
made me vomit a little bit
now if you'll excuse me I have to go clean that up
Submitted by Shagabah_Jones (user info) at 2005-02-17 04:46:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you get +1 for presentation, but you get the +2 cause wendy's really does make a fuckin' awesome milkshake.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-02-17 04:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This is shit