Surrender (691 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.68 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kre8rix (View user info) at 2005-02-17 12:15:20 EST
Fuck
My mind is going, I can feel it. With every second that passes, I give up a little more of myself. I'm trying to maintain, trying to hold on to some semblance of normalcy. But the demons in my head are unrelenting; like a maelstrom in their tenacity, devouring everything within striking distance. I stand quietly in the small hallway, listening to the clock mark the brief seconds as they pass.
Tick
Tick
Tick
It reports in perfect harmony with the pulse beating through my head; though the throbbing is slowly drowned into silence by the cacophony of voices.
I'm trying to maintain.
I'm trying to ignore what they tell me to do; to hurt myself, others around me. Their rage burns into the background of my eyes; I can feel it bleeding into the foreground. It's changing me. They're trying to wrench me away from myself, and I can feel it working. I yell with an anger that is not mine; at my wife, my son.
At anyone within striking distance.
I see myself through the thin, transparent shroud the demons have placed me behind. I hear my voice hurting the ones I love, thought they are not my words. I see my fist as they put it through a wall, my knuckles tearing with the introduction; the plaster kiss.
They thrive on the pain they cause, smiling gleefully as they look from the bloody fingers of my hand to the mask of fear on my wife's face. I try to resist as they make me smile with them; but to no avail.
Tick
Tick
Tick
I can barely hear my thoughts now, although not for lack of trying. My will is overcome, and now it's only a matter of time before I lose myself completely. The frightened, tear filled image of my family fades, as I sink further. There is almost a peace here, floating in the dark; I can barely hear them anymore. The muffled screams of my wife become white noise; drowned out by the persistent beat that has overcome all else.
They have won; no longer trying to control my mind, they revel in their newfound mobility. I barely hear her screams, before she fades completely. I pull my knees to my chest, gaining comfort in this new womb; this blanket of non-existence.
Tick
Tick
Tick
I'll miss you.
And I'm sorry.
User Reviews
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 22:26:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-02-21 21:10:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Been there.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-02-19 21:17:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-18 12:01:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope your son gets better soon. Good story.
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2005-02-17 23:12:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YUP
I was driving the old shitbox yesterday, and before me was a fat woman and her young child waiting for the bus, and I had to fight the urge to run them both over...and I wasn't even cranky that day.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-02-17 22:55:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-17 22:44:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice imagery. Well, not NICE imagery, but you know what I mean. I liked the last bit in particular.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:45:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:42:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm trying brdn, I just don't want to force it.
My son got really really sick (he started hallucinating because his fever was so high)
And I've only gotten about 3 hours of sleep in the past 4 days or so.
This is what sleep deprivation brings.
Hopefully I'll get to sleep tonight and have Part 14 up tomorrow.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:33:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff but I want more elemental!
Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:22:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't know why, but I think I love you.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:14:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by epiphany (user info) at 2005-02-17 13:01:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The voices are telling me this is incoherent
Submitted by Soul-Fly (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:32:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What just happened?
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:27:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:26:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What was this about again?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:24:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:20:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOW MAN
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:18:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
auto +2 for proper use of the word "maelstrom".
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-02-17 12:15:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I need to sleep more...