Of Cliffs and Cannabis (723 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.18 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Vermicious Canid (View user info) at 2005-02-17 15:56:59 EST
A little background on my friends and the area i was living in at the time. There were six of us altogether, Paul, Myself, Chris, Kevin, Andy and Josh. Chris's house is where the majority of this tale takes place. I was living in a town known as Pleasanton, California. This town was a very rich affluent area and as such many people here had large houses and large yards sitting on many of the ridges surounding the valley that we were in. Chris's house was one such house.
This incident occurred on a bright cheery Saturday. I had just recently acquired ,by way of doing chores around my house, a crisp, fresh twenty dollar bill. Money in hand I set off for my friends house to find more individuals with more money so that we may invest in a large amount of marijuana. Half an hour later found me and my five compadres setting off for a secluded spot off in the woods behind my friend Chris's house to partake of our newly acquired MJ. So naturally we sit in our little circle pipes are pulled out and bowls are smoked. At this point we were high enough that most ideas ,while ludicrous if sober, would seem perfectly sane. So ever the idea-men of our group, Chris and Kevin decide that it would be a good idea to hotbox Chris's dads' truck.Being high at the time the rest of us heartily agreed. (Note: this truck was a large Ford F250 Crew Cab so the six of us could fit with only mild discomfort in it. But, its also seen better days and one example of this was that the brakes on said truck were not exactly in tip-top condition. File this under obvious foreshadowing.)
So anyways, we arrive at the truck and after making sure nobody is home, proceed to smoke it up. During the entire session Kevin has been going on and on about how hes such a good driver and he gripes at Chris incessantly to let him drive the truck.
" Dude come on, im not gonna fuck it up."
"No."
"Come ON, dude I'll just drive it in front in your dirt yard."
"NO."
"ahh, dude your hella gay. just let me drive it for a little bit."
At this point I pipe up.
"Chris just let him drive it. If he fucks it up any you can just kick his ass."
(long exaggerated sigh),
"Fine..."
I shouldnt have opened my big mouth.
Kevin proceeds to start the truck and get it warmed up. Meanwhile, the rest of us smoke another couple of bowls before we go into the yard. (note: At this point after the last two bowls we had just smoked, about ten to eleven grams had been burned thus far). Kevin pulls the truck down to the yard to do whatever he is so convinced that he has to do.(note: The yard we were in was not large it was a thin strip of dirt leading to a larger block of dirt two sides of which were bordered by fences to keep idiots like us from going over the edge of the cliff). So he gets going and pulls around he dirt just to check out how much room he has. he returns to the thin strip of dirt and proceeds to gun it forward TOWARDS the fence. Suddenly, the truck goes right! then left! Basically he was going for a donut. U nfortunately he did not continue that left turn into a circle but instead once again had us pointed straight at the fence. This was the conversation in that truck at this time.
this was all said about at the same time while we careened toward the edge.
Andy: "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck..."
Josh: "AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
Me: " fence fence fence fence turn fence turn turn fence TURN FENCE.."
Paul: "TURN KEVIN OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TURN!!"
Kevin: "IT WONT FUCKING TURN! IT WONT FUCKING TURN!"
Chris: ".................................................................................................."
(thump)(bang)(clunk)(thunk)(bump)
Everyone except Kevin and Chris: "KEVIN YOU FUCKING DUMBASS!!!!"
Chris: "holyfuckwhatthefuckareyoudoingyoustupidfuckingbastardimgoingtobeinsomuchfuckingshitjesusfuckingchristyourfuckingstupid..."
Kevin: "OH FUCK....oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck..."
The thunking sounds were the sounds of the truck hitting the plastic fence and bending it down away from us. When Kevin managed to finally hit the brakes we only technically had three wheels on the ground because the fourth was hanging out over the edge of the fence and a four foot drop to a very steep hill which in turn led to a blind curve in a road at the bottom. In short, we had just about died because that road also happened to be one of the busiest in town.
Of course the first thing we did was to spark up another few bowls seeing as how we had all just about been killed by the genius of Kevin. The next thing we did was to park the truck back where it belonged, fix the fence as best we could and make sure we hadnt screwed up the truck any which thank the skies above we hadn't.The conclusion is that our lameass-stoned-out-of-our-minds excuse was that kevin hit it in chris's go-kart.(This of course couldnt work because the go-karts wheels were currently not usable because they had been popped... But thats another story.)
Anyways a week later Chris's dad got home from his business trip and seeing the fence, Chris told him what happened. Needless to say it didnt work, he found out, and we were stuck there the very next weekend in the hot sun helping to replant the very large section of fence that we had screwed up. The moral of the story? Drugs are bad children.
Yeah this is my first post.
User Reviews
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-17 19:02:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The picture was great.
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-02-17 17:52:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good show.
Submitted by entropy (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:40:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
grammar has always been my weak point
im horrible at it
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:38:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Okay, I take that back.
I'll give this a 0. But work on grammar and syntax.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:37:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Automatic pot +2
Submitted by DamienX (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:34:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Anything involving car thievery gets a +2 in my book. Add to that the fact
that it was your friends parents vehicle, and top that off with trying to
do a donut in his own front yard and you really have a story. Everybody
sitting happily by and getting high while they're nearly driven off a cliff,
another +1 at least. Thinking the gocart story stood a chance in hell,
because you were stoned: another +1. Drawing a forensics-style diagram to
help clear things up, probably while stoned: another +1
Good times
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:30:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Please.. no more.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:21:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm so not having kids.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:20:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Not bad.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:05:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Coulda been worse.
Submitted by fudgepacker (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:05:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i would've given this a +2 if the truck had driven off the ledge.
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:04:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-17 16:04:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm gunna give this a neutral rating, being that it's your first post, and you stated it, I should give you a -2. You redeemed yourself with a fairly well written post about cannabis. Rock on.