Disciplinary (Part 1 of 2) (887 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: The_Office
Rating: 1.58 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spam (View user info) at 2005-02-18 07:51:22 EST
The toilet cubicle - My only sanctuary within the workplace. I try to make a habit of coming once a day and listening to some music - sometimes simply to take five minutes off from the world, but usually in preparation for a bollocking - or perhaps to avoid one. I once calculated that in 2 years service at the company, I've spent a total of 3 days on the shitter and never once taken a dump - I remember thinking at the time that I should mention this to my boss and then take a week or so off with chronic constipation.
This time was little different though, I was due to go into a disciplinary meeting which would probably end with me being forcibly removed from the building. I wasn't really that bothered about losing my job, I just didn't want to give the Gestapo security guard the satisfaction of 'escorting' me from the premises - The bastard had been my nemesis ever since I'd called him a wanker for pretending he didn't know me and refusing me access to my office when I'd forgotten my ID badge. Dickhead.
I ran through the various arguments and counter arguments again and tried to shrug off my growing nerves. I was worried I had missed something, that my points would be blown out of the water, or that Sara simply wouldn't believe me - should that happen, knowing what I would have to do didn't make it any easier. Thinking of my last resort plan, I pulled out the crumpled piece of paper I had printed off and re-read it with a worried frown, Jesus Christ this was risky, If I was forced to show this and they discovered it was a forgery, I'd be fucked. Big Time.
It was all out of my control now though, No Sympathy for the Devil, as Raoul Duke once wrote, Pay for the Ticket, Take the Ride.
I exited the stall, looked at myself in the mirror, and gave myself the reassuring advice of the great Dr Gonzo:
"Don't take any guff from the swine"
---
Sara Holloway was sat at the polished mahogany conference table starring at the seven or so sheets of A4 paper neatly laid out before her. As always, she had read and memorised the data detailed on each a few days ago and her little refresher was fairly pointless, but it was something she had done before every meeting, and for a person such as she, breaking routine was unthinkable. Actually, the entire meeting itself was something of a formality - with the wealth of evidence that had been collected against this employee, termination of his contract was pretty much an inevitability, but procedure had to be followed. She continued to read.
Finishing finally, she straightened up and turned to her associate, "Ready Karen?" The question was delivered with the confidence borne of somebody certain they were talking to an inferior being.
"Yeah," Karen responded in the common-as-muck Essex tone that was slowly eroding away Sara's calm. "Send him in."
Absently, Sara brushed a rogue strand of her perfectly coiffed hair back into place and pressed down on the intercom in front of her. "Sam, could you come in please."
....to be continued
User Reviews
Submitted by missedthepoint (user info) at 2005-10-26 09:08:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
off to part 2 ->
(with high hopes sara gets cuntpunched)
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-26 02:51:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-17 08:11:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Looks like parkinsuns turned out to be a hooker.
Submitted by Parkinsuns (user info) at 2005-03-17 07:44:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-02-23 06:14:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pt 2 ===> http://www.ubersite.com/m/60200
Pt 3 ===> http://www.ubersite.com/m/60283
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-22 12:31:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-02-21 10:09:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A promise is a promise... so have another review... now to look at part 2... hey that rhymes, so have a plus2... wow that rhymes too... oh my god and that did too...
That last one kinda rhymed but it was the same word so didn't count, thank fuck. Could have been here all day.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-02-21 10:02:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-02-21 04:40:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
except for maybe that last one.
and err... maybe this one too.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-02-21 04:38:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
There's nothing pointless about any of my replys Wolf.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:26:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah ha... I clicked on your user info in the unlikely event that you may have finally posted something new, and lo and behold you've posted something new...
Most amusingly you've adopted my tecnique of replying pointlessly and striking up conversation to hit the MRR... Well done son, allow me to help you with that by sticking you back on the MRR once or twice for a few days starting monday, that way maybe your lazy ass will post more often.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-19 07:18:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's why you need to write more, you dozy bugger.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-02-18 12:39:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
12 reviews and 122 hits??
I've been away too long.
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:43:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-18 08:52:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No euphemisms yet; my mind is too absorbed by the upcoming prospect of cake.
And now my colleague has finally buggered off on her appointments, I'm going to lock the office door, divert the phones and do a runner, muahahahaha.
Let there be vanilla donuts. And almond toscana. Oh, and Belgian buns too.
Eat and be merry, because you can always put the diet off for another day.
Submitted by mbstateside (user info) at 2005-02-18 08:49:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I go to the toilet cubicle for reasons other than taking a dump too. There's nothing quite like gettingt paid to pleasure yourself but I digress. Nice little short that need to read the end before judging it properly but it was certainly engaging. I'm sure you'll hear from me on Monday
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-02-18 08:45:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-02-18 08:44:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"I may get more vocal after I have finally located that elusive piece of almond toscana."
More Euphemisms?
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-18 08:41:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well I am stuck in the office. The clients may not appreciate it.
I may get more vocal after I have finally located that elusive piece of almond toscana.
And I also really, really, REALLY need a wee, which isn't helping.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-02-18 08:38:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Only a quiet one Stin??
I must be slipping.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-18 08:34:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
DARLING!
You're BACK!
Once I've finished having a quiet orgasm and I get back from the bakers (no that's not a euphemism, I really am going to get cake), I guess I'd better read the post.
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-02-18 08:27:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-18 08:03:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY!!
Its about time, wanker.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-02-18 07:57:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i really liked it
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-02-18 07:52:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm BAAAAAAAACK.
First post in over 50 days. It was hardly worth the wait was it?
Conclusion will be up on monday.