Fuck You, You Ass Clenching Sheep Groomer. -Love, RandomNewbie6969 (2185 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.95 on 96 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by NerfHerder <NerfHerder.at.comic.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-18 10:05:47 EST
"Chris, come back to bed," said my girlfriend Sadie in more of a whine than I would have preferred.
"Whatever. Get yourself started, I'll be there in a sec," I said, buying myself more than just a mere sec. This was more important than giving my woman another orgasm. This was deep. I had worked hard for this, and no whiny bitch with a great ass was going to ruin this for me.
My eyes drooled over the post that I was about to submit on Ubersite, a soap box for guys like me. Guys like me who still believed. We hadn't been corrupted into finally believing that the world doesn't need creative people. That the only creativity should be focused on how to maximize profits and how to better screw employees and therefore, our brothers.
Somehow I escaped the norm. Some would call my state childlike; others said I was trapped in the past. They were both right. I was a little boy trapped in a man's body. And through Uber, I found others like me. Others that still dreamed about how dinosaurs could fornicate with dragons and have a firefighter for a child that would ironically destroy both of their respective species. I no longer thought that it was weird or wrong to think that way.
I began writing for the internet site, nervous as hell as I clicked the submit button for the first time.
And now....as I click that same button for the 100th time, the nerves have gone down only slightly. Still, I yearn to see the first remark that a stranger or, even better, a friend makes regarding what I have created. The rush is the same every time. I check back every few minutes to see what new and inventive ways people have come up with to praise me. And if any newbie happens to cross my path and lash out against my creativity, nothing can stop him or her from my wrath.
"Dammit Chris. I'm gonna mess around on my laptop. I can't keep myself going anymore," Sadie yelled from my bedroom, with one breast still exposed and leaking what appeared to be midget snot.
"Fine...yeah....okay, whatever," I dreamily waved her off with my hand, concentrating on making sure my precious post kept its precious and near-holy rating of 2.
Oh 2. Before I ventured on to Uber, I had no idea what power you would hold over me. Now, whenever I see the number 2 by itself, I expect to see an amusing and flattering comment below it. As I refreshed my post again, hands eagerly in front of my mouth while my eyes widened, I looked at the new rating that had just appeared seconds before.
Instead of my pearly 2, glistening among the other trash of the Uber landscape, my post was decimated to a non-respectable 1.71 on 9 reviews.
"No!" I screamed, scaring both myself and Sadie in the other room.
"What is it, honey?" she asked in a tone that told me exactly what she wanted to hear.
"Nothing. I just...erm...lost a hand in poker."
"You're not playing for money again, are you?"
"No...not this time. But it feels as if I lost more than just money."
Sadie had no clue about my quasi addiction to Ubersite. But how could I explain it to her? Would I tell her that I wasn't the constant boozer and boring working stiff that I had made myself out to be? What would happen if she found out I had a creative side? Right now, she was happy when I remembered what day of the week it was, let alone a birthday or anniversary of sorts.
If she found out about Uber, she might expect me to write stories praising her and poems praising her grace and her breasts in a tasteful manner. At the current time, my favorite phrase regarding her mammaries was,
"Nice tits, bitch."
We worked together as we were, me and Sadie. And God help me, I loved her more than I had ever loved anyone. I had never told her, of course. But she meant the world to me. Just not enough to tell her about my favorite internet site of all time, and the probable reason that I would be fired someday, most likely.
As my eyes scanned over my new rating once more, it finally sunk in. Some asscunt had rated it unfairly. Surely they hadn't read my post and given it a bad review. How ever would that be possible? My tiny and creative brain could not comprehend how somebody could not like something that I put out and put a small amount of effort into.
I scrolled down through the post, chuckling at humorous portions that I had forgotten about writing. As I reached the reviews, a -2 flickered onto my browser, apparently "reviewed" by a name I had never heard of before...Butterfly6969. What a fucking newb. I clicked on what I could only assume to be "her" user info, and shockingly enough found that she had not posted any messages herself, and was making her staggering 12th review. Phew. At least this girl knew what she was doing. She had read enough posts previous to mine to truly get a handle for the place.
At least it wasn't some random bitch who hated the world (and her parents), and this was the way she was getting back at everyone and everything.
I returned back to my precious baby and decided to retort. I replied as nicely as I could and as the situation warranted.
"Attention Butteryfly, since you're new to this site, let me give you a tour of the place. Over here in this hallway we have the...FUCK OFF BITCH AND NEVER COME BACK."
Submit.
I expected never to hear another word from the bitch. That was one privilege of mocking newbies; 8 times out of 10 they'd never see your insult and therefore not even think about insulting you back. But those other 2 times, the newbies will come back and see what effect their rating has wreaked upon the post. There, they see your insult and can do one of two things. They can ignore it, or....
"Fuck you, you jerk ass cock sucking ass clenching mother fucking sheep grooming asshair. I'll come back whenever I like, thanks. ;) Love, Butterfly."
The review pissed me off more than anything else had on Uber since I arrived. I had secretly thought that the newbs were not getting the trial by fire that they once had to endure, but I kept my opinions on the subject to myself.
But now that the problem had come back and bitten me in the ass, I decided to finally do something about it. True, I was the only one with something to lose here. I was the one that had 100 posts, each one waiting to be brought down a notch by a random flaming. I tried to convince myself that my reputation was more important than my rating and concluded that I might even get a few thousand extra hits if the drama got heated enough.
That conclusion sent my fingers swirling around the keyboard. The -2s of Butterfly flew as fast and as vicious as my sterile 0s did. Her words matched mine in intensity and severity. If I didn't hate this bitch so much, I'd probably be dating her.
The insults became more and more severe. Death threats were brought upon each other as if they were fun size candy bars at Halloween. Eventually, as most internet conversations go, one of the parties grows tired of the entire argument and merely leaves, unscathed in any way that a normal fight would. This case reigned supreme once more as my worthy opponent noted in her final review.
"I tire of this. I'm going to get something to eat."
Certainly an anti-climacteric end, even for an internet argument. I logged off of Ubersite and decided to also get something to eat, as I had not broken my fast yet that day. When I entered the kitchen, I saw my girlfriend Sadie making a turkey sandwich with mustard. I snatched the sandwich out of her hand, as it looked a little appetizing and was already made.
"Negative Two! Die!" Yelled Sadie. The small piece of sandwich that was in my mouth rolled out, end over end, and plummeted to the floor. Usually, I would be hysterical over the loss of food. Especially turkey. But this matter was more important than food.
"Excuse me," I asked as I felt the cold embrace of the turkey as it snuggled up to my left foot, "what did you just say?"
Sadie continued to make another turkey sandwich and licked the mustard off of her thumb as if she hadn't said what she had just said.
"Oh, it's just this thing I found on the internet." Sadie started to walk into the living room to watch some television, but my arm grappled onto her shoulder and I bent down and looked into her innocent eyes with those of a madman.
"Sadie," I asked, "WHAT internet site?"
"I dunno...something with an umlaut."
"Was it...Ubersite?"
A light of recognition shone in Sadie's eyes, confirming fears that I had feared before I even knew what fear truly was. She didn't need to answer, but did.
"Yeah...that's the one. How'd you know?"
"Oh...it's nothing," I said and collapsed on the kitchen floor in the fetus position.
"Hey! My turkey!" I shoved the sustenance into my mouth and moved my jaw up and down but did not truly chew.
"What the hell is matter with you, Chris? Stop being such an asshair."
My eyes widened and the turkey once again fell out of my mouth. I felt bad for the turkey. It was as if it were the child of neglect in our relationship. My memory kicked in and kicked me in the crotch at the same time. Asshair. Asshair? Where had I seen you?
THAT REVIEW! That first -2 from Butterslut. I had never heard that word until that review and hoped to never hear it again. Then it hit me. My girlfriend was on the laptop at the same time as the flaming.
I stood up with fervor and strode towards my bedroom, where the laptop was located. I opened it up and watched the screen flicker on. Up came the familiar colors that I had come to love. The ivory background which shouted magnificence. The blue links which showed so much promise. And the purple links that symbolized the laughter and enjoyment of times past.
I stared at the tiny screen and began to weep. As I looked up again, I saw Sadie stand in the doorway.
"So you're my arch nemesis of the day? Somehow I never expected to meet you in real life."
"Yeah, I know," I said. My eyes glanced down to the floor and the passion and hatred I felt for Butterfly somehow did not translate to the human counterpart. I had promised to slaughter this person and anyone she had ever shaken hands with.
I had promised to rape her children and chew off their respective genitals.
I had promised to make her life a living hell.
But as I sat there staring at the actual target of my hate, I clammed up and conceded. No internet argument would ever actually culminate into the promises that had been said.
"I think we need to see other people," we said in unison.
User Reviews
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2007-11-08 10:55:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ace
Submitted by Mike-Mc (user info) at 2007-11-08 10:29:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Made me smile (+1)
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-07 00:40:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Swing and a hit.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-06-20 10:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-03-01 01:08:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You amaze me, damn good stuff.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-02-26 22:53:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't masterbate. Procreate. With me.
Submitted by comicbookguy (user info) at 2005-02-26 22:27:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this post resulted in my death
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-21 22:03:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahah, perhaps you're right. Let's spoon and make up.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-02-21 21:25:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
mmmm give me some
besides each time I review your post you get like 3 or 4 more reviews, and everyone likes those, even me :D
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-21 20:34:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I do....heatheatheat.
Submitted by Kazzerax (user info) at 2005-02-21 20:24:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don'tcha love heat?
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-21 17:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The only thing I feel is the need for a pizza sub with peppers.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-02-21 16:08:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I come on uber as much as I ever did, and write when I feel like it, hardly say I was "past my prime" (I had a prime?)
that being said, geez I expected you to laugh about it, not make some thinly veiled attempt to cover up how important ratings really are to you.
Reactions like yours, be they piss-poor attempts at hiding how you really feel, or full on rants, make the rating system quite a lot of fun for me.
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2005-02-21 14:20:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hahahha, I needed that.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-21 13:57:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh. Fine with me.
But you're fighting a losing battle, Zoidberg. Let's face it. You're certainly past your prime and you don't necessarily come on Uber as much as you did before. But those best ever posts will keep coming and coming, whether you "knock them off their pedastool" or not.
Is the 1/3 of a second high really worth it? Is your job (and life) really that pointless that you get your jollies by putting a chink in the armor of a perfect 2 (or -2)?
I pity you.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-02-21 05:25:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
ha no reason man, I did the same thing on CBG's post since it was #1 on best ever before yours
something, I dunno, entertaining about knocking things off a list. I did the same to some little cunt who was thrilled to be worst ever
at any rate, distracts me while at work
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-21 01:43:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i am just bustin degreeless's balls
it's all good.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-21 01:07:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, munkey. I appreciate the effort, but degreeless knows that his ratings don't count. (And so do i)
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-21 01:00:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
To try to repair the damage this nutsack caused
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v
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-02-21 00:01:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Take that, authority!
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-02-20 23:49:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
exactly! once they recover from the shock, they discover their post has in fact grown thanks to my magically neutral nutrient.
although i'm thinking maybe a +1 would work better pyschologically than the -2.
i remember going into a vicious hateful sulk for several weeks with a certain user who broke a rare streak of mine with a +1. it annoyed me far more than shlongy and co with their -2's.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-20 22:52:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I see. So the soil that they initially percieve to be damaging will, in fact, cultivate the post and allow it to grow.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-02-20 22:28:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-20 19:00:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
I know Shandy. I follow your Uber-life closely.
You are an actual writer, and therefore a god among us mere mortals and imposters.
--
Yes, well, without wishing to be falsely modest, it IS true that i had a story published in the school magazine twenty years ago.
This post of yours, btw, has given me the idea for a whole new form of uber fun. everytime i see a post glistening amongst the uber trash with a pearly +2 rating i will automatically soil it with my 'minus 2'.
imagine the author's horror when they first see the -2, but then their sweet relief when they realise it is just the good ol' Uber Bad Boy up to his harmless tricks.
Submitted by Vomit (user info) at 2005-02-20 21:45:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-02-20 21:33:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Quality as usual.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-20 19:00:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know Shandy. I follow your Uber-life closely.
You are an actual writer, and therefore a god among us mere mortals and imposters.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-02-20 18:54:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
(i don't really mean that minus 2, and don't worry, becuase i am the Uber Bad Boy, my ratings don't count)
Submitted by Phyllis (user info) at 2005-02-20 18:49:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
696969
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-20 18:47:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Any reason?
Or just out of spite?
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-02-20 18:38:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
yay
Submitted by mybrainisawaffle (user info) at 2005-02-20 18:35:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...Pants.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-02-20 18:12:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You have officially rocked my face with this post.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-02-20 17:17:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I cant comprehend the awosemeness of this post in just one review. Nice job.
Submitted by purringbubbles (user info) at 2005-02-20 17:05:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No need to break the streak, that rocked.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-20 16:32:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
666 hits.
Ooooooo *wavy arms/fingers*
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-02-20 16:31:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow - you have proven me wrong - you topped the list in much less time than I originally predicted.
Congratulations, this is one of those rare, creative and eclectic works that deserves top honors!
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2005-02-20 06:52:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, fuck my ass...... I wish I had thought of this one.
Submitted by Shagabah_Jones (user info) at 2005-02-20 06:52:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Orson Wells
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-20 06:40:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-02-19 03:19:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is so fantastic, I don't know where to start.
--------------------------------------------
<pats nerfy on the back>
good fucking job
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2005-02-20 06:25:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-02-19 03:19:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is so fantastic, I don't know where to start.
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2005-02-19 00:30:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It wasn't the funniest post i'd ever read, not one of the most heart wrenching either. But it perfectly sums up all of my feelings about uber and how great it is. The greatest Uber post ever. +2
Good work buddy.
--hows that for a positive comment?
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2005-02-18 23:20:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder how long.....................
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-18 22:33:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2005-02-18 20:57:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-02-18 18:50:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
dang - I want SO badly to -2 this - where's Fetish when you need him?
Submitted by lizzard (user info) at 2005-02-18 16:46:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-02-18 16:35:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Just to help you get a little closer to the top of the list, since you've passed me twice already.
Submitted by InsoManiac (user info) at 2005-02-18 16:21:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed, I cried, I screwed a girl named Sadie.
Thanks.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-02-18 15:59:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck you, you jerk ass cock sucking ass clenching mother fucking sheep grooming asshair.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-18 15:44:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry jope. Already got me a woman (albiet a long distance relationship), a box of cookies, and fresh milk from the cow. I need nothing else. But i'll put you on the waiting list.
*Starts waiting list*
Submitted by The_Wizard (user info) at 2005-02-18 15:43:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2005-02-18 15:40:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
brilliant
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-02-18 15:29:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, if I break your 2 streak, will you fall in love with me?
God, it's so tempting...
Submitted by voken (user info) at 2005-02-18 15:08:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-02-18 14:35:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This will pass me, shitfuck, CBG and tom on best ever list within 4 days.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-18 14:25:37 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
And yes, in addition to tooting my own horn verbally, i also gave myself a +2.
Perhaps I am still a newb.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-18 14:25:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tigre, I once had a post that got up to something like 125 +2s in a row. This sub-50 stuff is nothin'.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-18 14:14:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hate to break it to you, but sombody is gunna break this streak of +2s with a 1. It'll suck, I know. This post did kick some ass.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-02-18 14:10:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
great read.
Submitted by AshK (user info) at 2005-02-18 13:58:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is excellent.
It makes me happy.
I hope you are fondling yourself while reading all the rave reviews.
You deserve a good cum as a reward for all this excelence.
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-02-18 12:51:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
awwwww
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-02-18 12:46:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-02-18 12:36:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I ought to -2 you just to see what your response will be; and also, because you're ghey and prefer Uber over sex.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-18 12:30:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks Gig, I've been tending the idea in my mind for a good long while now. Thought I'd bring the ol' boy out to play for my 100th post. I'm a sucker for milestones.
Submitted by Obi-wan (user info) at 2005-02-18 12:23:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I also saw it coming, but this was still good. I assume you will destroy the 1st person who fails to give you a +2 for this
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-02-18 12:14:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
With this +2, I bestow unto you Best Ever front page.
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-02-18 12:05:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
saw it coming a mile away, but i still laughed. i liked the ending. good job. may your reign never end.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:58:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:53:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you, you ass-clenching sheep groomer.
Love,
JMG114
Submitted by daveybwoy (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:52:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"with one breast still exposed and leaking what appeared to be midget snot"
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:42:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is your crowning achievement. It's too bad that the content doesn't make sense for bored at work, since it's an inside joke, but nonetheless, this is perhaps the most innovative and creative thing I have ever read on Ubersite. I've always been a fan or your work, Nerf, ever since I first saw your material, but this piece is beautiful.
Hats off. This is a best ever, this should be a 2 on 100 reviews and stay at the top of the list until Bart dies...
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:37:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:16:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This sucks.
Newb.
-2DIE
I want to bear your children.
And I'm a guy...
Submitted by cpeachok (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:14:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny and well written
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:58:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:56:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well fuck, I didn't expect that at all.
-2 Die please, Asshair.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:53:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
noobs...
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:51:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This begs for a -2 No Comment from user 16231
Good thing I'm 2639
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:47:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Please do, Calvin. Published work is published work.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:45:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder if I could sell this for profit, thusly screwing you over.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:42:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very very funny. I saw it coming but still a great piece.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:41:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
thought it was going to suck but finished it and think it's great.
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:39:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you NOT want to know the temperature of my hometown from the majestic Standing Stone Bank?
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:38:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:38:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nuff said
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:36:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bad ass.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:35:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.google.com/search?sa=X&oi=fwp&pb=f&q=740-653-6262
Submitted by NerfHerder (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:29:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sure freebie. 740-653-6262.
I just hope it hasn't changed.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:28:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe that Nerf stole this tale off of my hard drive.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:25:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
this was going to be a "why aren't there uber posts that aren't about uber" -2, then i finished reading and realized it was awesome.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:23:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This kicks more ass than anything ever.
And do you SEE?!!! THIS is why Loren told me NEVER to tell my wife about Uber. She is a wise woman.
Submitted by freebie (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:23:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can I have her phone number since you'll be seeing other people?
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:20:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
True story, huh?
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:16:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'm glad i read it all. so there.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-18 10:14:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post rulz!
I wish I had a smidgeon of your creativity.