i'm a woman blah blah i'm opressed blah blah you're insensitive... (1399 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.5 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Chris <Cburgess421.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-18 11:06:45 EST
If i have to hear another stuck up cunt bitch whine about her period i'm going to climb a tower and cancel you bitches faster than babies at planned parenthood.
I shit you not. My girlfriend is always moaning about how much her ovaries hurt and bitching about how guys don't have that kind of pain. Maybe we don't bleed once a month for most of our lives but we know pain...YOU'RE the insensitive ones. I'll tell you what, I'll take what you have to go through on a yearly basis and trade you the shit we men deal with.
What I stand to gain:
1. Free drinks in a bar
2. Available sex just anbout whenever I want it
3. A boyfriend who buys me shit and listens to my incessant complaints about how he doesn't love me
4. Maybe your clothes are more expensive but you have Daddy and your boyfriend (read as manservant) to buy it for you
5. Get a job because I have tits
6. (another thing you ladies take for granted) I get to be viewed as a sexual object every day and night...I can't wait
7. Never have to kick someone's ass for being mean to my manbitch
8. Feel absolutely no guilt for getting off too soon
9. Never be ridiculed for listening to crappy music
10. Get to play every mind game imaginable on men
What you'll have to deal with:
1. A walking hard on 24/7/365 is not fun...matter of fact, it hurts sometimes
2. Your kryptonite hangs between your legs. You can get your ass handed to you by an 8 year old girl if she places her foot there
3. Rejection
4. Not being allowed to express any kind of weaker emotion for fear of ridicule
5. Not being respected enough by women to understand that your bills come before her tampons and nailpolish
6. Some days I wake up and my balls hurt. If I'm running late, I can't jack off. they hurt all day and that's pain, baby
7. Choking on your hair because you insist on spooning and I'll be damned if I'm on the inside...you're the bitch.
8. You get the added joy of working for your position. Any boss will most likely be another man and your sexual temptation will only warrant a 'get out of my office, John, you're acting like a fag.' response
9. You are now on a level of attractiveness and it will never change. If you want to change your impression on the opposite sex, a new outfit won't work. Try to buy a $50,000 car.
10. Don't cum yet. Don't cum yet. Don't cum yet. Don't cum yet. YOU FUCKING LOSER I WAS SO CLOSE! YOU'RE WORTHLESS.
Unabonger
by the way, none of this represents how i really feel. what better place to say outlandish shit on the internet than Ubersite, what better time to do it than your first post? been coming here for a long time now and decided to start ranking and submitting. if you don't like it, you can kiss the head of my member.
User Reviews
Submitted by pannerplant (user info) at 2007-01-06 08:45:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-04-19 03:34:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
yeah I was a n00b so long ago...
and still am. Nobody on this site ever talks to me.
I'm gonna cut myself and write dark poetry about my cat now.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-04-19 03:15:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
without the disclaimer it would've been better
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-04-19 03:03:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These things are always much better when looking back at how bad they were.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-09-12 15:31:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
guys...it was my first post...jesus.
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-09-12 08:54:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I've seen much better anti-woman rants.
Submitted by Chazzy (user info) at 2005-09-12 08:39:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:53:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
So, what you're *basically* saying is:
"I am sick of girls whining, so now I'm going to whine."
Let's just say life can suck for both parties and be done with it.
-1 for no originality
-1 for complaining about complaining
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-09-12 08:20:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
UberGrams 1st Place Award. You earned it.
Submitted by tuesdaydelay (user info) at 2005-08-13 18:43:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Resize
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2005-07-10 18:34:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good stuff
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-02-22 09:50:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
next time i make my first post here i'll remember that. *nod*
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-02-21 22:42:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
When are you fucking clowns going to figure out that the words "first" and "post" should never appear in your first post?
Submitted by BrittInToledo (user info) at 2005-02-21 22:42:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It happens.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-02-21 22:26:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for the closing comment. Be a man.
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2005-02-20 14:25:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I laughed, I guffawed, I'm turning gay just so I can experience those things that women experience.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-20 01:53:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
-2firstpost+1goodpoints
Submitted by Shagabah_Jones (user info) at 2005-02-20 01:51:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Brilliant... absolutly stunning.
I laughed, I cried, I beat my mother.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-02-20 01:23:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done! the problem is you havent followed
'The List" you will find it at ,,Women Wanted.(search it)
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-02-20 00:57:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Worth a read.
It sounds like the perspective of a real sally boy though.
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2005-02-20 00:41:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Ammmmusing.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-02-19 13:04:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
" Some days I wake up and my balls hurt. If I'm running late, I can't jack off. they hurt all day and that's pain, baby"
I laughed. This was funny.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-02-19 13:01:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Self-esteem booster
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:59:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
no originality??
"Never have to kick someone's ass for being mean to my manbitch"
"cock holster"
you've heard these before?
wow...i may be out of my league.
*shrug*
Submitted by Lisa (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:54:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:53:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
So, what you're *basically* saying is:
"I am sick of girls whining, so now I'm going to whine."
Let's just say life can suck for both parties and be done with it.
-1 for no originality
-1 for complaining about complaining
---------------------------------------
TOTAL: -2
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:47:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hungover. soooooo dizzy.
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:33:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
amusing and not badly written.
nice first post...
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-02-18 15:44:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
welcome to Uber
Submitted by jojojojoan (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:32:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good first post, better than mine.
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:32:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
pretty funny
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:31:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Woulda been a plus2 if not for the cocky ending... the last pointer was very funny.
Submitted by Soul-Fly (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:25:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Uhm, I don't know what to think, and "I'm never right"
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:22:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't think this was too shabby.
And I'm always right.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:22:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Maybe you should date women who aren't complete cunts, and also consider the fact that maybe everything is not a contest to see who has more pain.
Just a suggestion
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:16:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:12:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hmmmmmmmmmmm, 8 year old ass-handing.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-02-18 11:08:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
it i so cool being a trend setter.
y'all just want to BE ME.