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A Collegiate Canine (492 hits)

Category: Humor -> Dirty Humor

no reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dogbyte <dogbyte.at.MightyCool.com> at 2000-05-01 14:46:24 EDT
   _            -----_
  //           {|||} 0]_____
  ||          {|||}   \-----]  Ever notice that the word
   \\        {|||}    _\____   "therapist" breaks down into
    \\      {|||}    /  ----   "the rapist"?
     \\--------     /          
     /             |           Simple coincidence?
     |   DogByte   |           ( I Think NOT! )
     \| ----------- \
       |           ||
       ||           ||
       ==           ==

A young boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through
the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his
parents gave him.

"Hmmmm," he wonders, "How am I gonna get more dough?"
Then he gets an idea.

He calls his father.

"Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern
education are coming up with!  Why, they actually have a
program here that will teach Fido how to talk!"

"That's absolutely amazing!" his father says. "How do I get
him in that program?"

"Just send him down here with $1000," the boy says,
"I'll get him into the course."

So, his father sends the dog and the $1000.  About 2/3 way
through the semester, the money runs out.  The boy calls his
father again.

"So how's Fido doing, son?" his father asks.

"Awesome, dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just
won't believe this - they've had such good results with this
program, that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals
how to READ!"

"READ!?" says his father, "No kidding!  What do I have to do to
get him in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."

...And his father sends the money.

At the end of the semester, the boy has a problem. When he gets
home, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk nor
read.  So he shoots the dog.  When he gets home, his father is
all excited.

"Where's Fido?  I just can't wait to hear him talk and listen
to him read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news.  This morning, when
I got out of the shower, Fido was in the living room kicking back
in the recliner, reading the morning paper, like he usually does.
Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin'
around with that little redhead who lives on Oak Street?' "

The father says,
"Oh, shit; I hope you SHOT that lyin' son of a bitch!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"
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