Dumb things people have said. (832 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.33 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Grin (View user info) at 2005-02-18 15:47:37 EST
Submitted for your approval is a collection of some of the STUPIDEST things I have ever heard come out of the mouths of grown men and women. Warning: this is not for the faint of heart.
Cap'n Crazy:
Once, while visiting a friend in a different city, we all stayed in a hostel together. All in all, it wasn't a bad experience. Some of the other residents were pretty nice and, in general, we all got along fine. But there was one fellow who was a few french fries short of a Happy Meal. He would babble on for hours as if giving a college lecture (refering to pages and paragraphs, even), and would continue to talk to the air if you walked away. From him, I "learned two very interesting things. Now, I think I have a pretty good imagination, but never in my wildest dreams would I come up with a connection between Major League Baseball, the fullmoon, the Crucifixion of Christ, and the Canible Women of the Avacado Jungle that proves...women do not need to eat. I'll keep that in mind on my next date.
I also never would hav imagined that this; K is an obscene image. Don't ask why.
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In a Sushi Restaurant:
I like Sushi. I developed a taste for it during my first trip to Japan (my brother teaches English there so I look forward to every visit). So when I discovered a Sushi place near where I was living, I jumped at the chance to try it. Now, in case you don't know, Asian food you get here in the Western hemisphere is generally very different from what you find in oriental countries. I seriously doubt you'll find sweet 'n' sour chicken balls on the menu in China. Regardless, this place was pretty close to the Japanese experience. Oh, they westernized it, sure, but much of it was true to its roots. I'm about to give my tastebuds a treat from my "bento box" (kind of a sample platter) when I hear this nonsense from the table next to me.
"I have the heart of a Samurai and my life has been one constant swordfight. I'm half Bhuddist."
I've lost my appetite.
For one thing, this guy clearly knows nothing about Samurais. I'm not saying I'm an expert, but I know enough that one is born into being a Samurai the same way people are born into nobility. You don't fill out an application and *poof* you're a Samurai. Nor do I understand how anyone can be "half Bhuddist". Either you believe in Bhudda as your deity, or you do not. For example; I am Catholic. I believe Jesus Christ is the son of God and the messiah. Some people of the Jewish faith believe Jesus was a very wise and noble man, but NOT the messiah. Does this mean these guys are part Christian? No. It means they are Jewish since, in order to be Christian, what it all boils down to is beleiving if Jesus Christ was the messiah.
*disclamer: I am not saying either religion is right or wrong, I was using this to illustrate a point.
I look over and notice this guy is on a date, and the woman is just bobbing her head. Well, sister, if it were me, I would have left. But I guess you're sticking around for the free sushi. At least I hope that's it and you're not falling for this crap.
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My Ex, Jade:
Remember her? You can brush up on why she's a moron here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/57881 Here's more from the mind-numbing stupidity out of her mouth.
"I need to go buy some film for my digital camera." Oy vey.
"Oh my God! How can they not have caught Leatherface yet?"
"Um, it's just a movie. It's not based on a true story."
"You don't know that!"
"Yes, actually I do. See, while it's inspired by Ed Gein, the events in this movie are fiction."
"You don't know that!"
"Well yes, I do. See, I've read things in true crime books, the internet, the special features on the DVD..." (I'd also like to point out that anyone who knows me will tell you I'm the man to go to for horror movie trivia. I've seen more horror films than is probably healthy. But I digres.)
Texas Chainsaw Masacre is VERY loosely based on serial killer Ed Gein. He was a necrophile, he was a transvestite, and he was a murderer. He did NOT run around eating people while waving a chainsaw in the air, and was coherent (maybe not a genius, but he wasn't a drooling ogre like Leatherface, either). Leatherface is an extremely loose adaptation of the actual events around Ed's life. In fact, you can find other characters inspired by Ed in many other films such as Norman Bates in Psycho or Hannibal Lector in Silence of the Lambs.
Stupid bitch.
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My Ex Friend, Chris.
Once again, where do I begin? This fellow was 19 and new all there was to know about Pokemon. And not much else. In fact, he had no idea who many celebrities were unless they were in The Matrix. Even then, he only knew them as their characters, not their real names.
Example: "Hey, I saw that new movie with The Rock."
"Who?"
Example 2: "Hey, I saw that new movie with Keanu Reeves."
"Who?"
"*sigh*...Neo."
Oh, that's not the half of it. I'll give you some stories about him another time, since I've gone on long enough as it is.
That's enough for now.
User Reviews
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2005-02-18 21:26:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's always good to know that you're not an ignorant cunt, unlike the world around you.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-18 16:23:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60012
I did this before, check it out and see what gets a better reaction
Submitted by Millie_Grace (user info) at 2005-02-18 16:18:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
hurtin'...would have been a -2 without the Ed Gein ref.
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2005-02-18 16:14:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Just kidding.
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2005-02-18 16:13:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-18 16:07:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
PMJ is taking no prisoners today.
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Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-18 16:07:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
PMJ is taking no prisoners today.
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-02-18 15:57:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I got about halfway through before I realized the extent to which this sucked.
I'm surprised this post hasn't consumed our galaxy with it's black-hole like sucking power.