Gooood Morining Uber/ Last Night Was Wonderful, Now Get Dressed and Go Home (2071 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.96 on 59 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Manicmother (View user info) at 2005-02-19 11:01:07 EST
Ok, so I snapped last night. I failed once again to take my own advice of "It's all in fun".
I realised this about 20 min. into the shitstorm, but oh what a storm. I relaxed and it was
all good.
My husband came home last night from work and I showed him my shame. He laughed his ass
off. Says it's the worst picture he's seen since we were partying kids. Then he pulled a bag of
the prettiest purple nugs I've seen in a long time from his pocket and life was good.
I want to thank all thoes who made my night the best in weeks. Particularly........
Darth_Faded for his crappy and horribly inaccurate post of greek mythology.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60037
Method and his lovely post with me as Dave Chappell's crackwhore.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60041
Genko for revealing my secret vacation with the Shlonger.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60067
And my favorite, from Rawrg, the News Man of Uber
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60073
I cannot and will not forget the inspiration of the whole damn thing.......Shlongy.
Hey Shlong-man, how's it feel to turn an Uber nobody into an Uberstar by just being a prick.
Suck on that one you little golf playing bitch.
Thank you Uber, I love you all.
4 tribute posts in less than 12 hrs.
Wow, I'm going to Disneyland!
And I didn't even need to show my tits. HA!
User Reviews
Submitted by phauna (user info) at 2007-01-02 21:18:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hindsight, eh?
Submitted by Obscured_by_Clouds (user info) at 2005-08-25 23:01:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night! They just plain
sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch
of sucks that ever sucked!
-- Homer Simpson
Team Homer
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2005-08-23 13:04:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice
Submitted by morontian (user info) at 2005-07-24 10:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Remember "Poltergiest?" Craig T. Nelson and his wife light up a doobie and not half an hour later their daughter is trapped in a t.v. A FUCKIN' T.V.!
Submitted by Viciousriffs (user info) at 2005-07-03 11:03:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I woke up this morning, and I swear my spine turned into a gnarled tree trunk. I don't need a chiropractor, I need a chainsaw operator. I'm taking your advice. I'm leaving the country with nothing but scuba gear and a bag of Jolly Rancher sours.
Cheers.
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-04-19 19:17:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 to piss off EscapeArtist
Submitted by podium (user info) at 2005-03-22 18:56:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-02-23 08:30:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
OK... drugs bad, We GET IT, now shut up so she can show us her tits....
I REALLY want to see that!
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-02-21 15:46:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:05:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
Guys, do you know the definition of RARLY.
I mean come on, we don't drink and it's been a million years since we've lit up.
Probably since before our first.
One joint behind closed doors in the dead of night is not going to screw up my children.
God what's with this? Did I need to clairify myself more or something?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HAHAHAHAHA......HAHAHAHAHA...........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=RARLY
Best laugh I've had in weeks.
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-02-19 22:15:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
you posted manicmother=mrs shlongy
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-19 22:10:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Words cannot describe how much contempt I have for you. And it's a mystery to me why.
Oh that's right. You suck
Submitted by Shagabah_Jones (user info) at 2005-02-19 22:08:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wha?
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-19 21:58:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-02-19 21:27:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Show em!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-02-19 17:17:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 because everybody seems to want to take a piece out of you and you're handling it pretty maturely.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-02-19 13:33:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 cause I think you need a hug.
But, Tom forgot the best 80's anti-drug episode of all time. Saved By The Bell, the girls randomly discover they can sing and make a music video of themselves while working out and singing, and they get an audition with someone from a record company or something.
Under the stress of her blossoming career, coupled with the panic that goes with being an overachieving psycho in school, Jessie gets hooked on Caffeine pills and freaks THE FUCK out on Zach when he tries to take them away. Later in the episode she is bed-ridden, seemingly from the withdrawl from being taken off "the juice", and the rest of the gang brings her flowers and stuff.
The moral is, if you get an audition to be a singer/dancer/aerobics instructor? don't take caffeine pills or you'll lose EVERYTHING.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-19 13:27:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How do I make it through without going nuts?
What on earth gives you the impression that I have? That's like people asking "How do you cope?" My stock reply is "I simply choose not to."
It's more fun this way. One big happy disorganised dysfunctional destructive loud messy mess.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 13:20:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This post is what it is.
It was an oops I let my stress get the better of me last night but I'm ok with it now.
It was a posted thank you to thoes who made me laugh at that anger and in doing so aleviating
some of the hard feelings I've had for myself. Hell I didn't even give a shortcut for my post.
I don't care how it comes out in the end as far as hits or reviews.
Just a public thanks from the Mother. That was it.
So Circe, wow, how do you make it through with out going nuts?
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-19 13:08:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Let me ask you, how long can you go without being allowed
to actually be YOU and not just mommy on her own with two kids under 4? I've been doing it for months without any sort of break."
5 years with Seth.
Almost 2 years with the twins.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:58:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey rad, I still have sociology waiting for me when they get into school full time.
For now I'm just spinning my wheels and making sure my girls end up able to
take care of themselves and get the confidence in themselves that I struggle to find now.
Is that really wrong to give up yourself so your kids can have more? I don't think so, but I'm
loosing myself in the process. Justifiable loss? I don't know, ask me when they're older.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:50:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Circe, not the joint, the 7hrs. of uninterupted sleep made me feel better about spending the next several hours by myself with my kids. Let me ask you, how long can you go without being allowed
to actually be YOU and not just mommy on her own with two kids under 4? I've been doing it for months without any sort of break.
I'm starting to wonder if I even exist outside of being Mrs. So-and So and the girls Mother.
Alesha doesn't seem to matter to anyone anymore.
Sounds selfish but I've learned that if you don't hold on to at least a tiny piece of
yourself you get swept away.
That's what has happened to me in the last 4 years. Everything is for them and the littlest thing for me I feel guilty about.
I'm really not even sure I KNOW who I am anymore.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:41:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:37:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Look Ash, my parents were latent hippies and I grew up in a cloud of smoke.
It did nothing to me. I was a B average student, highest ACT score in my grad. class, ran track, and didn't get going in the drug culture untill I was 17.
========================================
And look at where you are now. Feeling all old, hanging out on a website, using illegal substances to escape the monotany of adult life........Things coulda turned out better, huh?
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:37:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Look Ash, my parents were latent hippies and I grew up in a cloud of smoke.
It did nothing to me. I was a B average student, highest ACT score in my grad. class, ran track, and didn't get going in the drug culture untill I was 17. By then I knew all the ins and outs and stayed strictly with the natural herbage. I partied in my early 20's and it petered it's self out about 6 months before I found out I was pregnant with my first. I never got busted, I never lived for the smoke, and I would NEVER do anything to short my children's chances. I've been seriously deperssed for the last few months, bitching that I feel 48 instead of 28. My husband thought it would help with my perspective. I appreciate the worry for the kids but I give my ALL for them. I have no friends( they dumped me when I didn't have time to stroke their misshapen egos), I quit my job and college so I could be there for them instead of dumping them in daycare to turn into monsters with no sense of self or disapline. My hobbies are shot, no time to read, can't take the kids in the woods for 6 hrs. while I wait for the right picture to present it's self.I take care of my family, my home, by myself because he spends 60 hrs. a week in his kitchen. And that is IT. Hell I feel guilty when the husband does give me a little time to myself. I spend time here to have human contact without giving up ANYTHING having to do with my girls.
I haven't had 24hrs with my husband alone in over 8 months and barely a handful of times lasting an hour or more. I need a break, sorry.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:32:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry, but.. you need drugs so you don't dread being with your kids? That's not really a good thing.
Submitted by Punam (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:30:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The post itself was showboating. Not my style. But I'm giving you a +2 because I don't think the drug thing was at all that big a deal. People take all kinds of drugs. It's really kind of arbitrary that Pot is illegal and beer is not. People glorify alcohol on this site all the time, and noone rags on them. Don't worry about your kids, if you keep it under controll they will learn that from you too.
Submitted by QueenAshlee (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:16:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have this friend, her parents smoked a bowl maybe once a year or so. Wanna guess where I met her?
A correctional home for out of control adolescent girls.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:14:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Look, I'm happier than I've been in weeks, I slept well for the first time in over a month and I didn't dread getting up to spend another 12hr. day by myself with my children. Everybody get's to slide and I get hung by my first toke in over 4 years. I still don't get this place.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:05:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Guys, do you know the definition of RARLY.
I mean come on, we don't drink and it's been a million years since we've lit up.
Probably since before our first.
One joint behind closed doors in the dead of night is not going to screw up my children.
God what's with this? Did I need to clairify myself more or something?
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:02:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't call me honey, I am not Jessica Alba.
But I can tap dance!!!
**taps across Ubersite like Liza Minelli**
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:00:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm with Tom on this sweetie.
Wait until the kids are out of the house before you do illegal shit. That way you don't have to be a hypocrite when they get older and want to do illegal shit, and you say no.
Unless thats what you want for your kids.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 12:00:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh god that's bad, honey.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:58:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sadly, no.
That's all from memory.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:58:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Do you have a book or something " History of Anti-Drug Shows on Television"?
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:56:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Or what about that episode of Saved by the Bell where the actor guy comes to Bayside and they find out he does drugs? What did they do? They kicked him out of the school and didn't let him to the anti-drug commercial.
Zack > drugs
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:55:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
We're not talking the big H here. I smoked a joint for the first time in ages and this is all you're going to bitch about?
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:54:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tom, you're insane...
Your membership package will be arriving shortly.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:53:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And do you remember that very special episode of Growing Pains where Mike Seaver goes to the party with Boner and there's cocaine there and they're tempted?? He just said no and everything turned out fine.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:53:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You ok, Buckeyes? You're getting a little weird on me here.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:52:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And let's not forget what happened to Mr. Mackey when he got addicted to drugs. Drugs are bad, mmkay?
And what about Jack Bauer? He got addicted to heroin and lost his job at CTU. If a bunch of terrorists hadn't kidnapped the Secretary of Defense, he would still be living a boring 24-less life.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:51:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's the problem, Shlong. Wasn't last night enough?
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:51:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I will not get over it!
Imagine the girl from She's All That standing in a kitchen with a baseball bat. The kitchen is very nice and well put together. That is your brain.
then she goes completely insane and assures herself of never getting a date with anyone again, ever, and destroys everything in the kitchen. That is your brain on drugs.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:49:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Do you, by chance, like anal?
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:48:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey they were a gift from a friend. Now get over it.
The kids don't see it and, like I said, it's a rare thing.
Or do you think a script for prozac would be better?
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:45:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Couldn't" my ass. "Wouldn't" is more appropriate.
Do me a favor, go get an egg out of your refrigerator. I'll wait...
Ok, you have the egg? Ok, cool. Think of it like this: That egg is your brain. Now, go get out a frying pan and turn a stove burner on.
Done? Ok, now... crack the egg open and put it into the pan. You see what's happening? It's frying right? Well guess what? That is your brain on drugs.
I swear to God, everything in life I need to know I learned from 80s television.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:39:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not realy Buckeyes, It's a very rare thing now a days.
He couldn't pass them up and I don't blame him. We don't drink and we no longer party.
It was nice to remember that we're still younger than we feel.
Late 20's domesticity kind of sucks.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:38:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Her kids will be the toast of their grade school soon.
Reminds me of the line in "Easy Money" when Rodney Dangerfield and that comedian Jeff Altman are out on the street in front of Rodney's house...he wants to make friends with Rodney so he says...
"Hey we're gonna be neighbors so I guess we gotta be friends...I got ups, downs, blow , smoke...here's a little taste...a gift from me to you..."
Rodney responds with "Hey, not here...I have kids here...."
And Altman says..."Whoa...sorry...if you already have a connection in the family, I'd stick with it".
That's not verbatim but I think I've made my point.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:35:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:19:10 (#)
Ranking: 1
That's it, I'm getting my tits out.
--------
WOO!
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:34:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No harm, no foul? Didn't you ever see that 80s commercial where the Dad bursts into his son's room with a box full of sticky and says:
"How do you explain this? Where did you learn how to do this? Answer me!"
Then the son weepily replies:
"From YOU, alright!? I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING YOU!!!"
--
That scene is going to play out in your house in a few years.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:33:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Like YOU'VE never stopped to take a look at a car wreck.
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:32:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Notoriety and popularity are two completely different things.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:25:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:17:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
So.. uhm. You're a stoner with kids, and you feel equipped to take cheap shots some women who posted some tit pics?
That's... yeah. That's really nice of you. Thanks for that.
----------
Not quite the stoner I was Circe.
My husband knows I've had a hard time of it latly and he wanted to suprise me.
They go to bed, we relax. No harm no foul.
I didn't mean it to be a dig at the women who have posted a titty shot.
I'm just amused at the fact that my other posts have hardly gotten a looksee
and last night's took off like a rocket. Go figure.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:20:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Shlongy, it didn't. Not at all.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:20:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:18:28 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:14:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck are purple nugs? I lead a sheltered life...
By the way, does anyone remember the days when this place wasn't some bullshit message board? I do.
Yeah, I do
It seemed to all start going downhill around here about the time this "Fun With Real E-mail" series started up.
.............................
HAHAHAHA
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:19:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
That's it, I'm getting my tits out.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:18:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:14:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck are purple nugs? I lead a sheltered life...
By the way, does anyone remember the days when this place wasn't some bullshit message board? I do.
Yeah, I do
It seemed to all start going downhill around here about the time this "Fun With Real E-mail" series started up.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:17:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So.. uhm. You're a stoner with kids, and you feel equipped to take cheap shots some women who posted some tit pics?
That's... yeah. That's really nice of you. Thanks for that.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:16:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You love me - you know it ; I know it; Everyone knows it - but you'll just have to get in line, behind the other Uber broads.
I'd fuck you until you passed out. Hopefully, that wouldn't take more than 4 minutes or so, because that's about all I'm good for.
Then, we'd go see a Sharks-Red Wings game, and I'd make you give me a hand job at our seats.
The next picture better show some fucking tittie.
The end.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:14:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What the fuck are purple nugs? I lead a sheltered life...
By the way, does anyone remember the days when this place wasn't some bullshit message board? I do.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-02-19 11:04:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
man, why can't i pick people like this to parody.
aw well....HEY WAZZA, WHERE ARE YA!?!?