So they call me a Hero (plus my first camwhore) (2631 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: BestofDonovanMD
Rating: 1.86 on 75 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by DonovanMD (View user info) at 2005-02-19 19:48:21 EST
So, I'm a hero. That's what they tell me, anyway. It's in the paper. It's on the news. It's fucking grand, and I don't believe a word of it. They only tell a small part of the story. No one wants to hear the truth. No one wants to know that girl is alive right now because a monster happened by. That's too fucking bad. You, at least, are going to hear my story. Get ready, motherfucker, because this isn't the sugar-spun shit you heard on Channel 4. It's not the Morning News fairy tale about a gallant and self-sacrificing knight rescuing a damsel in distress, all cavalier. You know the framework of the tale, but let's recap it anyway. Maybe you missed it.
College girl, 19 years of age.... Sarah--wait, they haven't released her name yet, have they? I'd better not, then. Anyway, she's a bit, uh... fucking wasted. Oh, they told you she was tipsy? Ok, that works. So she's leaving the party with Zach Frey, proud new wearer of a 7-foot pine box, and he takes her out to the lake shore. Things start to get heavy, and she's not into it, blah blah, you've heard her sob story. Listen, I feel for her, I really do, but she will get over it. I'm not getting any better any time soon. This thing is going to kill me.
So, I "happen to be in the area", and I'm "fishing", and I "hear her screaming". Bullshit. I followed them. I knew what would happen. I know Zach. He's a first-class asshole. A predator of the most pathetic fashion. I don't mean to sound like an elitist prick, but a predator who preys on the helpless? Where's the fucking challenge? I've always had a thing for hunting the hunter, myself. It's just never had to go... this far. I know it didn't have to go as far as it did. I fucking know there was a better way. But I hated that motherfucker. It wasn't te first time he'd pulled that shit, either. I know for a fact he'd done it before. Remember when Miranda dumped me last year, and said it was because she "wanted to be alone". Remember when she killed herself? You remember. You don't remember the night she went out drinking with some classmates and called me afterward that night, sobbing and rambling incoherently. I bet you didn't know she stopped having sex with me after that, did you? I was pissed, at first, but when she killed herself, later that month, things started to click.
It wasn't just her, either. She was the third of seven, at my count. I don't count Sarah, last night, because I got there before she was actually raped. Fuck I hated that motherfucker. They told you that I happened upon them, and she screamed for help, and I had to defend myself against an angry rapist when I interrupted them. That ain't how it went down. I sneaked up on them. I was cat-fucking-slient. I had that knife drawn and ready long before I even had him in sight.
When she saw me, her eyes lit up. Maybe, for a second, she thought I was coming to join in, or finish her off when Zach was done with her. Whatever she was thinking, her expression never betrayed me. I could have just slit that amateur piece of shit's throat, and ended it quick. Fuck that. I'd been hunting this one for a very long time. Now I was certain that my suspicions were right. This bitch had to suffer. My attacks would have to be brutal, and a bit sloppy. I'd have to miss a bit, and I'd have to take a few hits, myself. I was more than alright with that, though. Fuck, I would have let him stab me right back.
He must have felt like a huge dumbass, standing there with his little dick in his hand, and a knife at his throat! I made that fucker turn around, like he would have done if he'd been startled by my accidental approach. I didn't give him a warning. I didn't give him instructions. I just stabbed him, as hard as I fucking could, right in his gut. Normally, I'd have gone for an eye, or a throat, or his heart. At least, with a stab, I would have. The gut felt right, though. It's a pretty common place for a panicked defender to strike, and that's the role I was playing that night. The first thing this little faggot does, is drop to his knees and cry. He's fucking begging for his life, crying, and asking his mother and Jesus to help him! FUCK THAT! YOU WILL DIE, YOU LITTLE SHIT! I WILL FUCKING EAT YOU!
GOD. FUCKING. DAMMIT!
I mentioned the part about me hating him, right? Yeah, so anyway, I hit him again. This time, I catch him in the side of his neck, purposely missing the jugular. He still doesn't try to fight me! He puts his hands up, to protect his face and neck, so I shank him in his right forearm, just because my knife hadn't been into him for a good second-and-a-half, and that just wasn't satisfactory. I stood there, hunched over him, raping his chest and arms with my knife, for a good thirty seconds, and he just falls out on his back, and starts to black out.
I look at the girl, and she's got a black eye, and her lip is busted. Her nose is bleeding and running at the same time, and her tears are drowning the flora below, and she just rushes me, and gets me in this vise-like grip and won't let go. She's sobbing and thanking me, and then it hits me for the first time. I'd heard the word thrown around a lot, usually when someone has "rescued an innocent", or "killed the bad guy".
Hero.
You didn't feel that, did you? If I had to describe how that word feels everytime I hear it, I'd imagine it feels like being shot in a dark alley brawl, then turning around and, just before you die, you see you own brother holding a smoking gun with the most horrified and sincerely apologetic look on his face. You forgive him, but you know he'll never forgive himself. Only I'm myself and my brother at the same time.
I'm no fucking hero, that's got to be made clear. I interrupted a rape in progress. I spared a woman the indignity and brutality of being forcefully penetrated and used as a jizz-sock. I spared her some self-loathing, and probably cut in half the fear she now has of sex, and probably of all men in general. But the fact remains. I killed a man in cold blood and hot hate. I broke my own code, and slaughtered a defenseless, weak, pathetic creature. He never fought back. He never eluded me, or dodged my traps, or stole my food, or killed my pups. He just fucking died. He never even knew I was hunting him until the headlights came on and he was frozen in the road.
I don't have to live with this shame. I can fix it. I'm going to do just that and, by the time you have read this, I will have redeemed myself. See that cup on my nightstand, piggy? Inside, you will find my inscisors. I don't fucking deserve them. I was good. I was very good at what I did. I hunted and disposed of some very sick fucks in my spare time. No one ever knew. Serial killers, rapists, gangsters, whatever. And they all saw it coming. And they all fought back. And they all fell. And then some weak fucking piece of shit gets the drop on me. He finally figures out how to stop me. I'd like to think he got lucky. I really don't want to accept thoguhts of someone like him actually having an understanding of what he was doing when he let me slaughter him like that.
I'm in the back yard. So are the remains of everyone of those slimy fucks I've hunted and destroyed. There's nothing left of them but the ashes in the garden, but if you're quick enough you can find my remains in the barbecue pit. It's a shitty way to go, I know, but I've become the monster I used to hunt, and I deserve no better.
Tell my family to stop loving me,
Donovan Daniel MacDonald II
p.s. Dad, I'm sorry I ruined your name.
(So I've posted a fair amount by now. Thought I would grace you all with my mug)
User Reviews
Submitted by slapsticky (user info) at 2006-09-07 15:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Freight_Train (user info) at 2005-04-04 00:08:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
dude that was fucking awesome
B@W
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-04-03 23:52:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-04-03 21:04:33 (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope this is some sort of joke.
You look like a cross between frankenstein and my asshole.
--
Yeah thanks for that. Maybe critique the work while you're at it asshole.
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-04-03 21:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm surprised you managed to get away with a single murder. I'd pick you ouut in a line-up just on principle.
Nah i dont know what im tsalking about.
Submitted by BillsSBChamps (user info) at 2005-04-03 21:04:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope this is some sort of joke.
You look like a cross between frankenstein and my asshole.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-03-18 00:17:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was pretty fucking good. I love the mental state of the narrator...his point of view.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-03-17 23:47:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-03-17 21:45:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
i'd hit that
--
I pray that you're a woman.....
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-03-17 21:45:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i'd hit that
Submitted by Lmarie22000 (user info) at 2005-03-17 21:18:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-03-17 20:17:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2005-03-17 17:29:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God damn, this is a good read.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-03-17 17:16:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit, why haven't I read this yet? This rocks.
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2005-03-17 12:25:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking A, man
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-03-17 11:42:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ardubs (user info) at 2005-03-17 10:28:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"I killed a man in cold blood and hot hate." <- Shit, negro.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-03-17 04:53:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey, this was good.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-03-17 00:22:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-03-17 00:00:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The best thing I've read in quite some time.
Submitted by boneface (user info) at 2005-02-22 03:42:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-02-22 03:14:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I run a bath and go to get the toaster. (They took away the only thing I love which is my gf.) I went insane. She was like give me my toaster. So I give it to her. The I get in the tub anyway with my clothes on.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-21 19:28:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-02-21 00:34:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Make your own sandwich, bitch!
Someone IM me, I am bored.
AIM: strwbryfanatic
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-02-21 00:27:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hate myself? I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread!
Which reminds me, I want a sandwhich.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-02-21 00:12:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-02-20 22:56:17 (#)
Ranking: 0
But what do you win? Not much....
-------------------------------------------------------------
Do you really hate yourself that bad?
Have a +2.
Feel better yet?
Submitted by Sh4d0w (user info) at 2005-02-20 23:19:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Not bad.
Submitted by gbusman (user info) at 2005-02-20 22:59:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Quite good.
-Bus
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-02-20 22:56:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
But what do you win? Not much....
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-02-20 22:51:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I win!
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-02-20 22:46:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Correct. I'm 20 on the nose.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-02-20 22:38:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How about 20?
Tell me now or no more +2's for you!
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-02-20 21:43:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
haha. How old do I look? Take a guess.....
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-02-20 21:31:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well...
Now...
Have we discussed your age?
Do tell. (The +2 is my bribe)
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2005-02-20 17:46:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:05:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice story. Oh, and be careful of method. Now that he has your picture, he'll try to find you and make you touch his 'magic wiggly worm'. *shudders*
---------------
Seriously Pigre, what is your obsession with me? I told you, I don't like men, and I'm sorry if you have feelings for me, but it will just never work.
I'm sure you'll find someone someday who will love you for the piggish slob that you are.
Submitted by Shmeddie (user info) at 2005-02-20 15:35:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Enthralling.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-02-20 15:07:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-20 10:35:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
What does the MD after the name mean?
Are you going to be a doctor?
I'm totally offering to play doctor with you if you need practice.
---
hahaha. You caught me. I'm actually an amatuer gynecologist. Now if you step into my waiting van, your checkup can begin....
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-20 10:35:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What does the MD after the name mean?
Are you going to be a doctor?
I'm totally offering to play doctor with you if you need practice.
Submitted by TheJedi (user info) at 2005-02-20 10:23:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Goos post
Submitted by jack11058 (user info) at 2005-02-20 09:07:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
damn good
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-02-20 07:14:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yer yer
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-02-20 01:36:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by mybrainisawaffle (user info) at 2005-02-20 01:08:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You get a gold star.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-02-20 01:06:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-20 01:00:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
darling, you should bid on me with belly-pictures.... yes. yes you should. I'll even forgive you for being blonde....
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-02-20 00:35:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-02-20 00:30:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
good story
and um, could we get some shirtless pics please?
--
Get all the girls together. I'll trade for topless pics. Well do a n00dz swap!!!!
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-02-20 00:30:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good story
and um, could we get some shirtless pics please?
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-02-20 00:13:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by splintergirl (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:59:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
*ahem* I love you.
--
You love me, yet you ruined my perfect score??
NOOO!!!
This relationships over Bitch!!
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-02-20 00:09:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well written story,good one man.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-02-20 00:06:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by splintergirl (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:59:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and here, because i'm stupid.
Submitted by splintergirl (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:59:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*ahem* I love you.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:42:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by lizzard (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:20:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
you look like a midgit.... or whatever "little person"
--
Must be the picture. I'm actually 6'4.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:42:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lizzard (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:20:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you look like a midgit.... or whatever "little person"
Submitted by Shagabah_Jones (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:15:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MURDERER!!!
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2005-02-19 22:51:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bravo.
Submitted by ac21587 (user info) at 2005-02-19 22:38:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
that was amazing writing... and i must agree... i dont like canada that much (im from the states) but i never knew canadian men were that good looking
but shhh...dont tell anyone i said that
Submitted by GreenRiver (user info) at 2005-02-19 21:39:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
very, very good
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-02-19 21:18:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:59:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
You just hafta moan and say "eh" repeatedly while you sex me up with one of those cool Canadian hats on and while the anthem is playing majestically in the background. OH! Or in a mountie uniform! I'm not picky.
What?
---
Well unless JP wants to lend me his Mountie Uniform, you'll have to settle for me in my Oilers jersey and scottish hat. Eh, eh, eh!!!1!!
ps. I'm am in no way related to Jesper Parnevik
http://img215.exs.cx/img215/4746/image0078xl.jpg
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-02-19 21:17:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are yoooouuuuu Canadian too, JGreening?
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-02-19 21:07:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Um, Don, if you need and all, I *have* a Mountie costume from Halloween like 4 years ago...
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:59:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You just hafta moan and say "eh" repeatedly while you sex me up with one of those cool Canadian hats on and while the anthem is playing majestically in the background. OH! Or in a mountie uniform! I'm not picky.
What?
Submitted by DemonJack (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:54:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*standing ovation*
Submitted by DemonJack (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:53:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I...well...uhm...you could...uhmmmm
Fuck it
*applause*
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:48:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:46:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
*creams panties*
Can I have you for my collection of Canadians?
Please?
--
I dont know, it depends on what it entails. I'm the Porterhouse Steak to these other Canadian guys chopped liver.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:46:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*creams panties*
Can I have you for my collection of Canadians?
Please?
Submitted by mystiamoon (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:27:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bizantine (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:23:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you know, i used to think i was good at writing before i found this site.
that was good. real good.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:20:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:05:14 (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice story. Oh, and be careful of method. Now that he has your picture, he'll try to find you and make you touch his 'magic wiggly worm'. *shudders*
---
I've heard strange things about this "method" character. His magic wiggly worm wouldnt last long with our cold Canadian winters.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:17:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yes. this was well-written.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:13:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PLUS
FUCKING
TWO
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:11:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
raw
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:05:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice story. Oh, and be careful of method. Now that he has your picture, he'll try to find you and make you touch his 'magic wiggly worm'. *shudders*
Submitted by purringbubbles (user info) at 2005-02-19 19:57:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-02-19 19:54:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hero eh?
That's much better than what they call me...
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-02-19 19:51:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment