Pugs v. Downsy Kids - A not so scientific analasys (871 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.28 on 25 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Timmah http://www.thesebloodyhands.co.uk (View user info) at 2005-02-19 20:20:49 EST
Has anyone noticed the striking similarity between pugs and downs children? Yes? Well fuck you then. For those of you who haven't this post is as informative as it is pointless and time wasting.
After talking to Tom on AIM about his pug dogs I started to notice scary similarities between themselves and downs kids. It sounds absurd now but after reading through this handy little post you'll be screaming in agreement.
Exhibit a
Perhaps the most obvious of similarities would be the face. That kind of ugly, squashed up, disturbing face, that no matter how hard you try and look away from, you can't help but keep looking at. Soon enough you find yourself saying "awwwww" and trying to stroke that adorable pug ugly head, only to have the mouth end snotting and biting your fingers. Then smiling about it happily afterwards as if they know the fact they're retarded will get them off the hook. Well fuck you kid! You snot on me I'll snot back! The next downs kid or pug dog to snot on me gets a kick to the temple. No I don't support violence against retards. But if they want to be treated as equals (as their non retarded spokespeople so often claim) then they're not exempt from a kick to the head.
Exhibit b
The love for food. I'm yet to come across a retard or a pug that doesn't go shit flinging ape when food is near by. The mere mention of food will send a downs kid running in circles, chasing it's own tail and barking loudly. As soon as any kind of edible sustenance source is nearby they'll creep up as close as they can get and smile that dumb fucking shit eating grin (all pug dogs and downs kids eat shit) that says "Can I have some?".
FUCK NO YOU CAN'T! Let's see you go over to the burger stand and order yourself a cheese burger with fried onions! Until you order your own damned food you can go fucking hungry. Lassie could tell you that yet another non descript toddler had fallen down a well, yet you can't order yourself a fucking burger? Tough shit 'tard.
Exhibit c
As ugly, greedy and down right repulsive as both may be. You can't help but fall in love with them. I think it's a human thing to want to love and smother the tragic. Maybe it's the fact you can stick selotape to their feet and watch them hopelessly shake and roll around in a vein attempt at ridding themselves of the sticky burden without feeling any guilt, but I can't help but want to stroke the side of the owner of that lovable downsy grin and watch as they kick their leg in appreciation.
Exhibit d
The apparent shame their owners seem to share when taking them out in public. We've all seen downs kid's parents hang their heads as the walk their bundle of shit eating, retarded joy down the street to buy some more adult size pampers. And we've all got the same response when we smile knowingly.
"HAVN'T YOU EVER SEEN A DOWNS CHILD BEFORE!?"
Why yes I have, just never one as inherently ugly as that. And that goes for your dog too.
It's the same for pug owners. It's like they've gone to the vets, their dog is pregnant, and he's stood up after the scan and said.
"Madam, I'm afraid it's bad news" the vet hangs his head and sighs "they're pug crosses". Then comes the awful moral decision of whether or not an abortion is necessary. Of course, they choose to keep the pug and hope to give it as full and happy life as possible. Not realising the years of trying to keep their downs kid/pug out of the cat litter tray or stopping them running head first into walls. The tears of hurt after being bullied by all the other dogs. Bastards.
So to all of you who look down on pugs and downs kids I say one thing. Have a heart. They're just as human as you. They just enjoy a little shit eating more than the next man
Tim
User Reviews
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-02-22 11:39:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha. Downsy....
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-02-20 23:47:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-20 23:32:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No but I know good food when I taste it. And mushrooms suck the biggest cock of all. Unless they're magical.
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-20 19:03:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-20 15:39:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
As long as it isn't mushroom burgers *shudders*
-------
You shut up, limey. You just don't know good food when you hear about it.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-02-20 18:47:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
B@W
Submitted by r1nce (user info) at 2005-02-20 18:31:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-20 15:39:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
As long as it isn't mushroom burgers *shudders*
Submitted by CookieLass (user info) at 2005-02-20 01:04:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Tim! You're going to hell!
I'll save you a seat at the bbq.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-20 00:52:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I've just realised the grotesque spelling error on the caption below the downs kid.................of course it was intentional...*ahem*
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-02-20 00:02:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
While it isn't my goal to piss (most) people off, it isn't my goal NOT to either.
Have a +1 for being a decent guy.
I just can't +2 something that makes fun of pugs. That is just so wrong. (this is where I would put one of those afuckinnoying smiley emoticons if their existance didn't make me want to commit suicide with a dull staple)
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:57:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*shrugs* Okie dokie. I didn't think it was worth a -2 but then I wouldn't have posted if I did. Thanks for your honesty. I thought you were another pointless user who just signed up to -2 a load of shit and piss people off.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:48:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fair enough.
I have lurked here for around 2 years. I registered to rate a specific post and decided "what the hell" and started looking around.
As you can see, this:
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-02-19 21:15:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Was my first rating on Snark's newest Necro post.
The reason I gave this a -2? I thought it was too easy. I went back and read a couple others of yours and found something I did enjoy that I found both creative and easy to relate to. I don't have a vindetta. I am not a cunt without a sense of humor. I am just expressing an opinion.
If you would care for a more in depth answer, feel free to email me danniellewashere at g mail dot com
and yes, for fuck's sake, I know there aren't two n's in danielle. I'd negative two myself for that particular fuckup if I could.
I hope I have been forthcoming enough, and the Uber police won't come and confiscate my opinion.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:41:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I didn't say you had to find it funny, arse. But as someone with no content to their username what so ever you could've at least given a reason for your -2.
Although I'm touched that I was your first.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:31:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry I must have missed the "you must post something in order to have an opinon" rule.
Oh wait, there are no rules.
So you can just fuck right off.
I didn't find this funny.
I'm sure you'll survive the rejection.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:26:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:21:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-19 21:32:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about Dannie
User id: 16568
Registered on or around: 2005-02-18 14:41:27
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 0
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0.00
=========================================
Who the fuck are you?
=========================================
Dannie
What, you can't read?
=========================================
Yes I can.
I think you should at least post something before dishing out unwarranted -2s
Either that or you're a stuck up cunt who can't take a joke.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-02-19 23:21:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-19 21:32:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about Dannie
User id: 16568
Registered on or around: 2005-02-18 14:41:27
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 0
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0.00
=========================================
Who the fuck are you?
=========================================
Dannie
What, you can't read?
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-19 22:26:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-19 22:17:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
my nephew's that way....but i laughed
<sigh>
all my children will be handicapped/retarded/black
===============================================================
I had retarded step sister, never stopped me loving her. This was purely for humour purposes
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-19 22:22:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
aw, what the hell, have a 2 on me
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-19 22:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
my nephew's that way....but i laughed
<sigh>
all my children will be handicapped/retarded/black
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-19 21:32:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Everything you ever wanted to know about Dannie
User id: 16568
Registered on or around: 2005-02-18 14:41:27
# Messages posted: 0
# Reviews written: 0
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 0
# Hits: 0
Average rating of all messages: 0.00
=========================================
Who the fuck are you?
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-02-19 21:21:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-02-19 21:20:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I peed.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2005-02-19 21:17:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin' tards. Kick to the teeth for all of 'em.
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:25:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't go ragging on the people method gets 87% of his loving from. He wouldn't like you to make fun of Mrs. Method, would he?
Submitted by Tom (user info) at 2005-02-19 20:24:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(inhales deeply) Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.