EPISODE 90: “The Same Old College-Guy” (1334 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.23 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Chronicles of College-Guy (View user info) at 2005-02-20 04:08:20 EST
*THE CHRONICLES OF COLLEGE-GUY*
EPISODE 90: "The Same Old College-Guy"
February 20, 2005
{Prediction: This post is gonna be -2 Central. I know this, but some things've gotta be said.}
Hey, hey, Ubersite. It's me, Sam the Sociopath here to positively dazzle my fans and absolutely disgust my critics once again. BTW, player-haters, why not just -2 me now anyway? You know I'm not gonna say anything you like.
Now I don't usually post just an open letter like this, but there seems to be a lot of confusion floating around and I want to settle everything for everyone. Since I faked my death on January 27, there have been a lot of questions raised about me. After all, no other user on this site has ever caused as much commotion or been as noted as The College-Guy. My death rocked the foundation of Ubersite and seemed to leave a lot of you scratching your heads. As such, I need to get some shit straight with everyone.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me tell you why I am writing this post. Since I started Semester Two, a lot of people think that I'm not me anymore. Why would people think this?
Well, as you might have heard, I faked my death back on January 27th.
"But Sam," you say. "Why would you fake your death?"
The answer to that is complicated. First off, I had a drug trip last month where I was told that the Rapture was going to happen on Jan. 27 (*1). Coupled with the memory of Kai accusing me of being someone else (*2), I decided to fake my death. Again, since I had gained a huge following on Uber—I wasn't rated below a 1.00 for most of the month of January—I decided that I would pretend to die (*3). Yet, I really wanted to hit home the message. Because I had been accused of being a fake before, I did another post pretending to be The Author of the Chronicles, and not who I really am, Sam the Sociopath Richardson.
But what I tried to make clear when I started the new Semester is that I am still myself. I'm not dead, just the Sam as always...heh heh.
So here we are, me still living and as myself. I'm gonna keep on posting in successive episode numbers to avoid any confusion—Semester Two Episodes 1-6 are now just Episodes 84-89 (*4).
Now go ahead in minus two, I don't really give a shit what any of you bastards think. But you must admit, you are more informed now, aren't you?
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* References:
1) EPISODE 74: "The Gates of Reality" (Jan. 14, 2005) http://www.ubersite.com/m/56800
2) Kai said I was one of my fans (or actually a bunch of them) http://www.ubersite.com/m/55422
3) EPISODE 82: "Faking My Death" (Jan. 27, 2005) http://www.ubersite.com/m/57893
4) EPISODE 83: "Faking My Existence" (Feb. 1, 2005) http://www.ubersite.com/m/58365
5) The new distinctions for the Semester Two episodes:
EPISODE 84: "Die with Dignity? Who?" (Feb. 11, 2005) http://www.ubersite.com/m/59386
EPISODE 85: "My Valentine" (Feb. 14, 2005) http://www.ubersite.com/m/59670
EPISODE 86: "Music to My Eyes" (Feb. 16, 2005) http://www.ubersite.com/m/59804
EPISODE 87: "Thick Milkshakes Killed a Child" (Feb. 16, 2005) http://www.ubersite.com/m/59841
EPISODE 88: "Ready for Some Ass-Sex?" (Feb. 17, 2005) http://www.ubersite.com/m/59883
EPISODE 89: "'Apathetic'? A Pathetic What?" (Feb. 19, 2005) http://www.ubersite.com/m/60116
~~~~~~~~~~~
HEY YOU! DO YOU LIKE TEENAGE GIRLS?
If so, then help the College-Guy's infamous "Little April" post finally make it into Ubersite's Most Viewed Message ring.
What do you have to do? Only squeeze one out for Little April here:
EPISODE 56: "Teen Porn—Little April Directory" (Dec. 19, 2004) http://www.ubersite.com/m/54711
Current Number of Hits...................22,789
Remaing to Make MVM List.............3,643
DO YOUR PART! JACK OFF TODAY!
User Reviews
Submitted by mybrainisawaffle (user info) at 2005-04-11 19:13:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bitch, get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.
Submitted by dudaculb (user info) at 2005-03-01 07:36:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
meh
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-02-24 17:55:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Cmon buddy, you can do better than this!
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-02-22 10:01:44 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
blah
Submitted by Auron (user info) at 2005-02-22 08:43:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Just bring the old atmosphere back
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-02-20 17:59:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Get over yourself.
Submitted by DemonJack (user info) at 2005-02-20 11:04:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yet again I ask:
Where is the gore and blood? The insanity, the psychotic laughter, where?
Stop explaining so much shit and get back to work.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-02-20 11:03:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-02-20 11:02:13 (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd still like to see these "fans" you're talking about. Your last post had sex reviews.
---------------
Six, rather.
It's obvious what's on my mind.
Submitted by Sideburns (user info) at 2005-02-20 11:02:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd still like to see these "fans" you're talking about. Your last post had sex reviews.
...I average more than 1000 hits and 50 to 100 reviews per post.
The great writers of this site, i.e. Tinactin, Lechuga-- don't brag about fans. They just write. They are the real writers with fans.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-02-20 06:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
but the story...... you've lost sight of the story to become an internet celebrity!
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-02-20 05:23:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Now I don't usually post just an open letter like this, but there seems to be a lot of confusion floating around and I want to settle everything for everyone. Since I faked my death on January 27, there have been a lot of questions raised about me. After all, no other user on this site has ever caused as much commotion or been as noted as The College-Guy. My death rocked the foundation of Ubersite and seemed to leave a lot of you scratching your heads. As such, I need to get some shit straight with everyone.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Eat a penis, attention whore
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-02-20 05:07:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I never claimed "you" were gone, i claimed your writing style and ideas had left you for a bit.
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2005-02-20 04:58:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-02-20 04:24:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
You're like an untalented Ms.Cleo
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I thought it was Lady Cleo? Don't tell me my world is a sham!!
Submitted by Shagabah_Jones (user info) at 2005-02-20 04:56:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yeah, it's still awesome. The fake death thing doesn't make any sense but still is brilliant shit man.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-02-20 04:24:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You're like an untalented Ms.Cleo