Keep Walking (706 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.88 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by stardamage (View user info) at 2005-02-21 00:12:29 EST
True story.
* * *
It was supposed to be a simple walk through the park.
It was dark, the ground under my feet soft and somehow giving under my sneakers. All I have to do is get to the other side, and I'm safe. That's all I have to do. Simple enough. There shouldn't even be a problem. I've been here before and never had trouble at all. Easy.
My eyes adjusted to the darkness and I swallowed hard - three dark shapes were fifty feet ahead, huddled together in one mass. Something came awake in my head warning of danger, screaming at me to turn back, but I had to go on. Fighting down a sudden wave of panic, I forced myself to keep walking. (I can't stray from the path - who knows what will happen if I go off the path? No, I have to keep walking. They don't see me, they don't know I'm here, and I'll just keep going and get to the other side, and it'll be okay. Just take a few deep breaths, and whatever happens don't stop. That's the main thing. Because if I stop even for a second, they've won, I may as well lie down and quit - I'll never make it. I can't stop.) Reassurance and panic tore at me with each step, slowing my progress and stealing my breath in short bursts.
Keep walking. Keep breathing.
The three broke apart, almost mechanical in their movements, and spread out along my pathway, blocking my way casually. Oh shit. My quick pace ground down until it was unbearably slow. If only I could speed up or stop! But both meant danger, and so I continued, fear threatening to burst out of me in a wave of hysterical trembling and gasping.
Force that breath to slow down, to restore confidence. Assertion. If they see you're not acting afraid, they'll leave you alone. Keep walking past them, and don't acknowledge them unless they do something. Oh shit oh shitoh...oh...
I forced cool air into my lungs, drew a singing breath that rushed through me and made me feel like I was crackling with nervous energy.
One of them called my name. "Hey, babe, what're you doing here all by yourself? Isn't it a bit late to be walking out here all alone?"
I saw their smirks, the grins of confidence on their faces. They know me. They know me and they are waiting for me and they do not care because they are three and I am one, and they are men and strong and I am a woman and alone. The dark machine-like figures were closing in and I didn't recognize any of them, but they know me...
Breathe, I heard something say, and show them you're not afraid, you're not going to submit, you don't want to play that game, not tonight and not ever.
"Get back," I said sharply, at the same time dropping into a warning stance, feet spread, center of gravity lowered, hands up. "Stop. Leave me alone." I barked the important words "back", "stop", "leave", put extra voice to them so someone might hear, please someone hear me, please someone see that I am alone and in danger and need help, please someone walk by and hear those words and know...The sound of my own voice only served to heighten the shivering rush of adrenaline and I thought that if something didn't happen I'd start screaming.
One backed off, his claw-like hands up, muttering that he was only having a little fun. Strange that the power of my voice could do that to a person so much taller and stronger than I was. Strange that my commands would be followed by someone who was only a moment ago-
A dark claw clamped around my left wrist and I yelled, twisted, brought my right fist down on the hard muscle of his forearm and heard a grunt of pain that was drowned out by my frantic shout as another one wrapped huge machine arms around my waist, pinning one arm to my side. I prepared for a strike to the face that never came, and then brought a heel down on the foot of the one behind me, my free fist slamming into the groin. He let me go, crumpling to the ground, and I was free, running, breaking the grip of the third who grabbed at my arm. Staggering, I fell to my knees.
Cold horror uncurled and suddenly turned into hot anger. How dare they humiliate me, how dare they make me feel so terrified and alone and helpless, how dare they, how? One of them advanced on me, grinning, the metallic expression terrible because of the lack of shame, the lack of emotion or sympathy.
His eyes were cold, but I felt my hot rage spilling free and taking control of my legs, turning me onto my side and establishing a base from which I lashed out, praying that my foot would find a vulnerable area.
My heel slammed directly into his left knee as I shouted and it failed him, giving under his weight and he tumbled to the ground just off the path, swearing, and it seemed to me that his body was made out of something hard that clacked and clattered on the hard ground. The others were not far behind but I lashed out with my legs until I found ground under my feet and took off running, the end near, shouting things that resembled words but were really just expressions of fury and terror and adrenaline.
* * *
Reaching the other side of the darkened room above the basketball court, I heard staggered applause and shouted compliments as I stepped off the mats. My rape-defense instructor clapped me on the back. I saw the three machines taking off shining black helmets and gloves, taking a break before the next run, their mechanical exteriors stripped away to reveal police officers from the neck up and wrists down, sucking at water bottles, talking, laughing.
I unclenched my fists and discovered that even if I were allowed to take off my boxing gloves or helmet, I was shaking too hard to navigate the simple velcro straps.
"Ready for the next one?" asked my instructor, smiling, and I walked with her back to the beginning.
"Now, just pretend you're standing at an ATM, alone at night..."
User Reviews
Submitted by AlexorGM (user info) at 2005-10-04 22:06:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Barnymeinhoff (user info) at 2005-08-26 09:40:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-08-15 23:18:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really good. You should have been in Uber Madness.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-02-28 11:13:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Interesting.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-02-28 10:59:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have taken a similar class, I think all women should. It helps you reason things through, and I know I am more alert in general when I am out and about.
Very good writing!
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-21 16:38:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I took the same class, Faithless. We had some of the other officers from the area come in as agressors and we had to go through three simulations total.
The third one was the worst out of all of them because my instructor Diana distracted me while I was facing away from the men, and she was talking to me and saying that one of them had a problem with padding so it would take a minute, blah blah blah and all of a sudden one of them had grabbed me around the waist from behind and fallen backwards so he was on his back and I was pinned to him.
Scared the shit right out of me but I got through it okay, obviously :) All in all a good experience even if the simulations were a bit intense.
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-02-21 16:03:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I took the Rape Agression Defense class too, RAD... I remember how freaked out I got when the "final test" came. Oh man...they wouldn't let the other girls watch, so you were all alone in the gym. Good times.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-02-21 15:47:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well god damn. THAT was pretty well fucking done.
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2005-02-21 15:39:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-02-21 11:05:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
quite enjoyable, good write.
Submitted by Shmeddie (user info) at 2005-02-21 07:42:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done. Excellently descriptive. Solid finish.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-02-21 04:43:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was afraid to continue reading this. that scenerio is my worst nightmare.
i am relieved...
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-02-21 04:11:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-02-21 02:40:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Nice Ending
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-02-21 01:33:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice twist, i was getting worried it was going to be the real thing.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-02-21 01:22:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was hoping you'd turn psycho bitch and just start stomping the shit out of them.
Or...think American History X
My point is...buy a gun.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-02-21 01:16:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Ed_0150 (user info) at 2005-02-21 01:10:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was good.