I am Psychic! Ask me questions about your life. (846 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 0.7 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by UlfGabe (View user info) at 2005-02-23 10:47:28 EST
This was Written in an attempt to disprove post: http://www.ubersite.com/m/60354 "Who are you? Test Yourself!" Or something like that.
It is my Understanding that anyone, given enough generalizations will think that something applies to them. It is how psychics and tarot card readings work. (especially that guy from beyond the grave)
I ask you Uber, To ask me; I will tell about your life and it will be close to your heart. I will tell about your personality, your feelings, your emotions, and losses you may have encountered. This is not for the faint of heart, because I am PSYCHIC.
i also cannot spell psychic..
Well, GET TO IT UBER.
User Reviews
Submitted by UlfGabe (user info) at 2005-03-16 09:14:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Where the hell did I put my driver's license? "
I can say it will be in the last place you look for it.
but seriously, check under your car seat, or between it and the other seat in the front.
If not there, go back to the bar and ask politely for it.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-03-15 23:53:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Where the hell did I put my driver's license?
Submitted by UlfGabe (user info) at 2005-03-15 23:21:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Can you explain how 1 divided by 0 can equal infinite? "
1 divided by zero is a relationship inherint to the cartesian method for realizing vectors onto a human recognizable surface.
in 2 dimensional maths there would be a slope(m) associated with the equation of a line.
in the equation y=1/x the slope is represented by rise over run which is the change in the value of y over time as compared to the change in the value of x.
Now as (for this example) one can note that as the x value approachs x=0 (call it a limit, because at x=0 the equation is invalid) the delta of y(how much y changed) for equal intervals of x approaching x=0 increases. and it increases exponentially?(maybe logarithmically?) the change in Y(slope) and so does the value for Y. that should just about explain it.
so 1/0 really means nothing, in math it is nonsense language, just like inf/0 or 0^inf and some other interesting math quandries which have been solved over the years.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-02-24 01:42:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
UlfGabe is a false prophet...
Bradradamus is the real man!
Get thee back to that hell from whence thy came, wretch! Peddle, thee, thy wares in another land... Far from this place.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-02-24 01:28:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Can you explain how 1 divided by 0 can equal infinite?
Submitted by UlfGabe (user info) at 2005-02-24 01:17:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Now i will start.
GO!
>>>>You are impulsive and easy to please. The littlest things make you happy. People who remember to do small things such as holding the door and maintaining a clean and tidy apperance find it easy to make friends with you. You are a strong lover as well as hater. You do not desire conflict with others, but if pushed, will stand your ground.
Corn_nugget's personality test was not based on conjecture. It was based on actual sampling. Idiot.
>>>>>>You love C_nizzle, you adore him and his endless wit, YOUR sampling is pure BS. I've taken one test which said I had the same personality as Mahatma Ghandi... Well I know Ghandi never took any sort of personality test, it conflicted with his religion! IDIOT. Sampling can be put on a stick. You are a person who listens to scientific fact without thinking an original thought in his/her mind. Hell you are a lesbian trisexualist in disguise of a human. Go back to iceland and hump some seals.
Why do my balls shrivel at the sight of apricots?
>>>>>> You have strong ancestral memories as described by Jung, these memories surface when looking at apricots because they remind you of home. Your ancestral home was on the planes of africa, and apricots were not plenty. Those strong legged warriors who could run to the apricots and back without being gored by the wild-a-beast were given laurels from the women of the tribe, unfortunately, the first STD started at your tribe, and was transmitted up through the generations. You got black ball syndrome, (bbs) and it causes testicles to firstly swell, and then shrink with all hair falling off until only shriveled skin remains.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a
tootsie pop?
>>>>>>>>>> You question commonly known knowledge. You think that every solution has a better or newer solution not yet found and you want to be the person to find it. You have homosexual tendancies also, and hide them by going to the strip club 24/7 to prove your manlyness.
even though this was done yesterday, and I have no clue who you are, I feel compelled to ask you "AM I MADE OF PEPPERONIS AND SMALL CHILDREN!?!?!?" or am I just a figment of ubersites imagination?
>>>>>of course it was done yesterday, but people enjoy to be analyzed, and to group themselves into cliques so that they can feel social and not alone.
>>In response to your first question I would say yes, due to the nature of the universe (the unending time and whatnot), at one point your molecules/quarks/gluons/mesons/baryons were the part of another being, and in an infite universe at one point those would have been Pepperonis and Small children. So yes.
>>Second question, The human existence is nothing more than one great big mass illusion. Yes, you are an illusion within an illusion being perpetrated over a virtual illusive network of loosely grouped people who enjoy joking about this illusion.
am i happy?
>>>> judging by the 1 in your name, no; Whomever would name themselves c1ndy?
how old will i be when i die?
>>>>>To worry about death at such a young age is nothing, concern yourself not with these thoughts of mortality, get out and live the life you were born to enjoy.
What is the square root of 8753?
>>>>Do you want a real or imaginary answer?
>>>>Real answer is 93.55andonandonandon, in not choosing a perfect square your life can be put into the category known as irrational. Some times you make mistakes without knowing why. This frusterates you and is a source for anger. Conquering(i cant spell) this anger will make you a better person and more able to deal with day to day pressures. You find it hard to smile at times beacause of the hand that fate has given you. There is promise for tommorow.
omg this is long, im taking a break
Submitted by Adereterial (user info) at 2005-02-23 13:10:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What excuse will my waste of space of a boyfriend give me for not going to the bank this afternoon?
Submitted by DeadHorse (user info) at 2005-02-23 11:31:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-02-23 11:10:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yesterday i produced a fart that can only be described as 'fruity'.
My question is simple. What fruit did my fart smell of?
000000000000
Your dad's semen.
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-02-23 11:26:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who the hell am I?
I can't figure it out, man.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-02-23 11:10:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who will I shoot at 4pm?
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-02-23 11:10:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yesterday i produced a fart that can only be described as 'fruity'.
My question is simple. What fruit did my fart smell of?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-02-23 11:02:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
What will I shoot today at 4pm?
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:59:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ok, here's my question: Should I pursue the mysterious and intriguing boy who lives in the city, or the familiar and sweet boy from my past?
Submitted by Phallic_Cymbals (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:58:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
twoo dudes just walked off the campus wheere are they going?
they ae in white shirts
Submitted by Dervel (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:57:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm in a pickle. Is being an onion my charlotte in life?
Onion jokes make me cry.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:56:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What is your girlfriend doing right now?
Multiple Choice:
A.)Pinching her nipples furiosly while making bedroom eyes at me again
B.)Cuddling an empty bottle of Vodka on my couch
C.)Making me some goddamn breakfast before I choke the shit out of her again
D.)Standing on the corner making me some money
E.)She can't talk right now her mouth is full if you know what I mean
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:56:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:50:54 (#)
Ranking: 1
Why do my balls shrivel at the sight of apricots?
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Yeah, why DO his balls shrivel at the sight of apricots anyway ?
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:55:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you illiterate?
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:55:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by wtf_is_going_on (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:51:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a
tootsie pop?
............................................
the answer: if you lick only on one side and utilize a moderate amount of saliva, 243 licks. this number will vary based on individual pops and amount of saliva used.
found this out one day with a long afternoon and a bag of tootsie pops. now that i think about it, i could have called up some chick and made the day more constructive.
Submitted by DeadHorse (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:54:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What is the square root of 8753?
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:54:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
how old will i be when i die?
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:53:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
am i happy?
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:51:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
even though this was done yesterday, and I have no clue who you are, I feel compelled to ask you "AM I MADE OF PEPPERONIS AND SMALL CHILDREN!?!?!?" or am I just a figment of ubersites imagination?
Submitted by wtf_is_going_on (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:51:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a
tootsie pop?
Submitted by j0andre1 (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:50:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Why do my balls shrivel at the sight of apricots?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:49:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Corn_nugget's personality test was not based on conjecture. It was based on actual sampling. Idiot.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-02-23 10:48:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
GO!