Why 9th Grade Geography never really grasped my attention .. until .. (808 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.58 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <jawshtimiz.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-23 22:33:03 EST
We have all passed at least a note or two in our days in high school/grade school. The notion that it is "frowned upon," and the fact that it is a risk is also half the fun. We've all seen on television shows; students passing notes and having the teacher notice, therefore, taking the note and reading it to the class, or perhaps having the oh-so-rebellious student read their personal masterpiece to their peers.
Now, usually, this is a harmless notion. It's more than likely a simple concept, such as; "Wanna goto the mall afta skewl? Yea?! Ko0o0L!@" or "(A fellow classmate) is so cute!". You know, shit like that. However, these teachers had never met my friend Brian. Brian was an absolute pervert. Perhaps not a "pervert," but his vocabulary consisted of the grimiest of terms. The kid was hillarious, don't get me wrong, but not exactly someone you want havin' a conversation with your parents. It blows my mind how a 9th grader could potentially gross out a war veteran/Hells Angel with his speech.
Here's the thing. It was 5th period Geography class, right after lunch. We were all sitting around doing some fucking retarded worksheet on how poor Malaysia was or something, and believe me, this was boring shit. Almost enough to pull and rip at the patience of any ADD-infested teenage boy in the midst of puberty. Now, Brian was antsy. He was never one to be able to sit there quietly, at least placating the teacher's ego into letting him believe his classroom was in order. I sat just next to Brian, only a few feet away. I still remember him repeatedly trying to get my attention, but I kept shrugging him off, being the good kid I was and all. Then I glanced over to see him furiously writing something down. Whispering my name retardedly loud to get my attention, he undoubtedly got the attention of our teacher.
It wasn't hard to see what his intentions truly were; to pass me the note of course. There was nothing on his desk, but this folder piece of yellow lined paper.
The teacher looked at him curiously, asking him what he was writing. Brian, being the belligerant little bastard he was, told the teacher that it was "none of his goddamned business."
Yeah, that didn't quite strike his fancy.
The teacher picked up the note, basically polling to the class whether he should read it or not. Naturally, being the curious little bastards they were, they egged him on to do it. I'm sure the only thing going through his mind was "Well shucks, Ted, this is your ONE chance to be groovy with these here youngsters. Get to it!"
Obviously, not pre-reading it, he began to blurt it out loud:
"Jay, dude, you know that Megan chick in the front row,I gave her the greasy marshmellow souflet Friday night. Chick's roast beef danglies cried for my dong until I finally gave her the Bratwurst express. Choo choo you dumb whore, HAHAHA!"
I shit you not. Those were his exact words. I know this because we felt COMPELLED to get the note out of the trash after class.
I swear this guy's face turned pale white and it looked like he was going to shit himself after giving period 5 Geography a graphic depiction of a 14 year old girl getting ravaged, using various food ingredients to portray the event. All he could say was ".....Go to the principal, Brian......."
I swear he couldn't look at ANY of the girls in the class straight again for the rest of the year, seeing how there were about 4 Megan's in the class and two of them sat in the front row. And no doubt, the one it truly referred to,.. transferred schools the following week. This had to have been one of the most classic and unruly moments of my high school existence.
User Reviews
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-04-26 00:14:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
well.. have to be honest. It did make me smile
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-04-25 23:52:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Classic
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-24 09:42:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Greasy marshmallow soufflet" AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I always dreaded my 9th grade geography class, because my teacher Mrs. Hopper was wicked crosseyed, and you never knew who or what she was looking at. It was maddening.
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-02-24 09:35:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-02-24 09:31:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-24 07:30:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Chick's roast beef danglies cried for my dong
Submitted by PlaguedByMurphy (user info) at 2005-02-24 09:27:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gave me a laugh, good job
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-02-24 09:27:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
PLUS
FUCKING
TWO
Submitted by Adona (user info) at 2005-02-24 09:26:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
More.
Submitted by ariseymour (user info) at 2005-02-24 09:15:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by A_D_Sweetmeat (user info) at 2005-02-24 08:53:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You used the word "dong."
Awesome.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2005-02-24 08:51:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-02-24 08:30:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny haha
Submitted by Tigre (user info) at 2005-02-24 07:30:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Chick's roast beef danglies cried for my dong
----
I laughed so hard a little pee came out. Bravo.
Submitted by Mitchapalooza (user info) at 2005-02-24 04:05:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Chick's roast beef danglies cried for my dong
------------------------------------------------------
Hahah... wait.
wtf?
Submitted by Thored (user info) at 2005-02-24 01:11:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Alas!
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-02-24 00:13:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Chick's roast beef danglies cried for my dong
----
Hahahaha, fucking well worth a +2 right there.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-02-24 00:05:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
choo choo... here comes the +2 express...
Submitted by boneface (user info) at 2005-02-24 00:05:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i love the word "dong"
Submitted by TheMidnight12AM (user info) at 2005-02-23 23:57:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by EagleHawk (user info) at 2005-02-23 23:03:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, what if a teacher got a note and went to the front of the class, reading something completely different?
Note: Brian, wanna go to the movies today?
(male) Teacher: Brian, I am gay, and I love you with my whole fucking heart. Please have mad monkey sex with me.
Submitted by Shiloh (user info) at 2005-02-23 23:02:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
What a crappy essay. Who still talks about their freshman year in high school?
OoOH! Brian wrote some naughty words down on a paper and
an adult said them in front of the class. After that we tricked
him into saying "Potty" Tee hee hee
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-02-23 23:00:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really thought it was funny, good show.
Submitted by G_Nonny (user info) at 2005-02-23 22:46:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Kinda over done, but the end was still pretty damn funny.
Me likes.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2005-02-23 22:45:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sure, why not?
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-02-23 22:44:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I may just quit my job at the plant to become a full-time stock market
guy.
-- Homer Simpson
Burns Verkaufen Der Kraftwerke
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-02-23 22:42:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
a retarded first attempt.
Submitted by ghey (user info) at 2005-02-23 22:42:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
-2 for high school
+4 for bratwurst express
Submitted by r1nce (user info) at 2005-02-23 22:42:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment