Go ninja, GO! (668 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.58 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HZRD (View user info) at 2005-02-25 13:13:00 EST
Today is Salisbury Steak day... mmmmm microwavable meals. Anyway, I'm not here to discuss how my juicy HungryMan Salisbury Steak is making my mouth water as I wait to eat it, or how kickass the Mac 'n' Cheese is, i'm here to explain what happened last weekend.
A few weeks ago, my girlfriend's brother-in-law calls me up to invite me to his cabin in Maryland. Naturally, I say "hell yeah!" Mark is a cool guy, and if anyone needs a weekend full of drunken debauchery, it's him. Mark works stock late night at an unnamed grocery store so he can watch his two young kids while his wife is at work teaching. It's not because he's some pussy stay at home dad - his family saves $$$ on daycare and he earns permanent overtime, the lucky fucker. But the schedule is new and it's killing him.
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Unrelated, or so I thought, two weekends ago I start going through my old CDs so I can make some money off them on eBay. Man I had owned some of these since the age of eight!
TLC's "SexyCrazyCool" - so fucking history.
Phish's "A Live One" - wow, I really did't want to release this evil on the world. Meh.
The Doors' "Soft Parade" - some vomit actually escaped my mouth on this discovery.
And so it went, I put them in a big pile of 26 and browsed eBay to see what I might expect to earn from this festering pile of musical nonsense. It turns out people don't make too much off music bundles... I should have expected that. Maybe a used CD store? Nah, I'd make even less off the few I could sell and wouldn't get rid of them all. Then I had an idea... huhhuhhuhhuhhuhuhuhuh.
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...cut to Northern Maryland cabin surrounded by 10 miles of Mark's land, last Saturday morning, about 6 AM, watching the sunrise, still drinking whiskey form the night before.
"You wanna go shoot some skeet?" he asks.
"AH SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET SKEET!" I replied.
He punched me in the arm and told me to "shut the fuck up, lets go do it!"
I said "Wait! I have a surprise!" I ran in the house and came back with my box of shitty CDs held over my head like a trophy. Radiohead's "The Bends" glinted in the rising sun.
"NO. FUCKING. WAY!" He held his hands to his mouth and jumped up and down like a gleeful little girl.
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We put Incubus' "Morning View" in the holster.
"GOOD-BYYYYYYE! PULL!!!!" Mark yelled.
BANG! A thousand pieces of acoustic whiny shittyness exploded into the Maryland sky. "Nice to know you", indeed! God, I'm funny.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II Soundtrack went in next.
"Go Ninja, go ninja, GO!!!" I screamed.
BANG! I thought of ordering Pizza Hut instantaneously.
User Reviews
Submitted by quack (user info) at 2005-03-22 12:50:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ha
Submitted by Jarvis (user info) at 2005-02-25 18:12:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll take that Phish CD.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-02-25 16:55:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ninja vanish! <bang>
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-02-25 14:53:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God...I hate the word "skeet."
Submitted by wtf_is_going_on (user info) at 2005-02-25 14:35:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was gonna go to school,
until I got high!
That's me!
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-02-25 14:27:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for VI
Style like a chemical spill.
Submitted by tidalfae (user info) at 2005-02-25 14:08:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
you could have sold those cds to me.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-02-25 14:05:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ACC Bitches!
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-02-25 13:55:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ninja Rap
by Vanilla Ice
YO! It's the green machine
Gonna rock the town without bein' seen
Have you ever seen a turtle Get Down?
Slammin' Jammin' to the new swing sound
Yeah, everybody let's move
Vanilla is here with the new Jack Groove
Gonna rock, and roll this place
With the power of the ninja turtle bass
Iceman, ya know I'm not playin'
Devistate the show while the turtles are sayin
~*Chorus*~:
Ninja, Ninja, RAP! Ninja, Ninja, RAP!
Ninja, Ninja, Rap!
GO GO GO
Go Ninja, Go Ninja, GO; Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
Go Ninja, Go Ninja. GO; Go Ninja, Go ninja, GO!
GO GO GO GO
Lyrics, fill in the gap
Drop that bass and get the NINJA RAP
Feel it, if you know what I mean
Give it up for those heroes in green
Just flowin, smooth with the power
Kickin' it up, hour after hour
Cause in this life there's only one winner
You better aim good so you can hit the center
In it to win it, with a team of four
Ninja Turtles that you gotta adore it's the
Chorus
Villians, you better run and hide
Because one day you might not slide
Choose your weapon but don't slip
Vanilla's in control with the flex of the mic grip
Rockin' the crowd the way it should be rocked With the Miami drop that you like alot
Hittin like a Ninja Turtle when the bass kicks in
You better check your level
The power of the Ninja is strong
Fightin' all the crooks until they're all out cold
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-02-25 13:34:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hey adam, you don't still go to UMD, do you?
Submitted by Duke_Diggler (user info) at 2005-02-25 13:32:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
decent story . but for the record adam, the terps suck major asshole
Submitted by Drone_of_Industry (user info) at 2005-02-25 13:21:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Thank you for your kind services to the human race
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-02-25 13:16:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the MD, go TERPS!
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-02-25 13:16:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Nice to know you", indeed!