"Slapped." (864 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 1 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Wazza (View user info) at 2005-02-26 05:25:13 EST
Have you ever arrived at a point in your life when you think that there are no kicks left to discover?
"Like kicks man".
Kicks are something that we dont go looking for most of the time , but are a special Buzz to remember and laugh about later on .
It's abit like stealing watermelons when you were akid and just escape with the skin of your teeth.
I had one of these occasions just a while back that allways brings out the hairs on the back of my kneck and i laugh at it .
I could go on with a preamble for yonks , but i wont and get straight into the story as it happened.
This girl i met in south east asia happened to be the sister of my good friend that has a resort on the south china sea, she was more than pretty and more than sexy and she had more than the average better than the rest better body.
Anyway to cut a long story short,we came to terms with each other and had an increible lust session to gether.
It was good really delicious.That was, until the night i was "Slapped".
We went to dinner at a really beautfull restaurant the waves of the ocean rolled up under the terrace where we dinned on shrimp, crab and blue marlin fillets barbequed to perfection .
Wine was the order of the night,only the best would suffice, for this was to be anight to remember.
The girl ,her name was Cindy by the way ,anyway she kept doing the dissapearing act all night and headed for the powder room.Everytime Cindy went one of the waitresses would appear at our table and proceed with the "long chat".
"How are you"
"Yes good thank you "
"Are you an American?"
"No i am Australian."
" Ahh your wife is very pretty sir."
" She is not my wife".
And this shit would go on all night,everytime Cindy returned she would glare at the waitress
then abrutptly she demanded to be taken home to our room at the resort.
We caught a rickshaw and returned to the resort ,i went to take a shower.
She screamed out "I want to go".
I said "Wait i will be quick".
I was as quick as a pig in a synagoue and jumping out the door to surprise her i found her with her head between her legs doing something.
"What are you doing down ther honey" I asked.
"I am fixing my pad ,I have my menstruation ! and you dont care either and you dont know what its like either!.
"No and i dont want to know ." i replied.
"Ahhh, so thats what all the bad attitude and the dissapearing acts were all about i thought."
"Maybe next life stuff for me." i replied. "In the meantime i just gotta go on with out the privlage of having a bloodied puss,thank you very much."
With that she straightened up and pulled that pussy rag from between her legs. it must have been a foot long!.
I was frozen to the spot,and utterly powerless to shift as she swung that bloodied rag upward in a swinging fashion at great speed, then downwards with a force that a karate chopper would be proud of.
The impact, coupled with the taste of brown,smelly shitty blood in my mouth was enough to lay out any Warrior of the pussy.
At that moment my life as a lover of beautifull girls passed befor my eyes!
It was as if time had stood still,I was totally stunned!
Even the one that burnt my car ,never was that as humiliating as this,.God i cried why have thy forsaken me ? and the blue eyed bitch that cut up my passport then i had to stay another two weeks in Mauritious!
Never were any of those as humiliating as this.
She looked at me ,i looked at her,i could sense fear in her eyes.
I looked at her again and then for some unknown reason we both started to laugh and laugh and laugh.
Cindy then ran to the bathroom and returned with a wet towel and washed me off,i threw her on the bed and fucked her then fucked her again.
We awoke in the morning laughing ,i still laugh about it .
Then again i do have a warped sense of humour!
"
User Reviews
Submitted by Faith (user info) at 2005-03-16 08:18:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Disgusting, Hilarious! Personally I could never do that to someone ewwww the thought makes me want to be sick!
Funny as fuck story though!
Faith
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2005-03-08 07:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
So disturbing yet...heartwarming
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-02-26 12:03:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-02-26 05:35:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
No professors of Grammar and commers please just read the fucking story ,
and enjoy,cause it is a true one!
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sorry, i thought the story was funny as hell, but the text and grammar were REALLY bad. to the point that i had to re-read several lines just to understand what you were saying.
i appreciate that not everyone can turn out a "perfect" piece of writing as far as grammar goes, and even more people just don't care, but it should at least be readable. it turned what would have been an automatic 2 into something that made me step back every few lines and wonder what the hell was going on. kinda broke your comedic momentum.
it was good enough that i'm going to go read your other stuff, though...
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-02-26 11:25:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Poorly written, disgusting and demasculating. I would have made her eat that rag, at the least. +1 for not including a pic...
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-02-26 09:47:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
no less than in the romance section...
Submitted by hairycoo (user info) at 2005-02-26 09:32:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ewwww
dude, the comma goes before the space. just a tip like.
Submitted by negativesid (user info) at 2005-02-26 08:45:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Dude, you're fucked in the head. Bad grammar drops it down from a 0 to a -1.
Submitted by WiKi (user info) at 2005-02-26 08:22:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's so friggin nasty.
"she had more than the average better than the rest better body"
..that made me laugh
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-02-26 07:14:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You have, by far, the worst grasp of the English language I have ever seen.
Funny, albeit vomit-inducing, story.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-02-26 06:17:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Slapped ,"
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-02-26 06:16:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Dude dont get me down man ,a mans just tellen the truth there and thats a fact!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-02-26 06:09:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude... there's something fucking wrong with you... Seriously.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-02-26 05:35:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No professors of Grammar and commers please just read the fucking story ,
and enjoy,cause it is a true one!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-26 05:32:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my god.
The execution was fucking horrible, but the concept was fucking genius.
B@W!!!!!!!!!!!!!