My arrival + a story with a monkey (510 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.58 on 15 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Negative Sid <forgoneconclusions.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-02-26 07:38:24 EST
Alright. I'm new here. Don't go all "kill the stupid newb" on me. I came here cause hy friend G-prime told me about this place, and I'm liking it so far.
As I promised, a story involving a monkey:
The other day, I was talking to my friend about funny experiences in the past. We started talking abou the sixth grade, and mutherfuckin' bickity-bam, I remember one funny ass thing which happened. It was near the end of grade 6, we went to a little zoo in the outskirts of Ottawa, Ontario. All the stupid kids in my class wanted to see the monkeys. We all walked towards the monkey cage, and as we walked, low and behold, this baboon type thing was furiously fucking the cage. When we walked over to it, this girl in my class, Shannon asked what it was doing and I said "He likes you, you should get closer." As she walked towards him, the monkey shot a load worthy of a John Holmes movie. It hit her smack-dab right in the head. I started screaming "Monkey spunk" and suffice to say, it was embedded into my memory.
I hope you guys enjoyed this story.
User Reviews
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-05-18 18:54:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wilkommen
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-02-26 10:56:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Yeah, it was alright. The story was funny, but as creep_firebombing said, skip the intro and the saying you're a newb, that's an invitation to flame. And don't tell them you hoped they liked it at the end, that's an invitation to flame. Other than that, it was good, so +1. And he's not my alter, rad.
Submitted by Timmah (user info) at 2005-02-26 10:51:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
*cough*-2DIE*cough*...............what?
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-02-26 10:50:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
IDIOT!!! DON'T MENTION THAT I TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS!!!! THEY'RE GOING TO FLAME ME!!!
now to read the post...
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-02-26 10:39:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This needs to be made into a movie.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-26 10:21:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
John Holmes' penis was 12.58 inches long.
Aaaaaaand Circe has just started drinking.
Submitted by EatMeCompletely (user info) at 2005-02-26 10:09:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Welcome.
When I was a lad (2 weeks ago), I went on a class field trip to the Washington DC zoo. My mother chaperoned and there were about 5 kids in our group. One of which, was a close friend that was on all of my sports teams, etc. The DC zoo's ape house had some open cages and some enclosed by glass.
Long story short, a chimp threw poop at my friend and I have not let him live it down until this day.
No, seriously, I called him today and told him that he lived it down and I'll never mention it again.
That is all.
-EMC
Submitted by Ducky (user info) at 2005-02-26 09:28:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Ivy (user info) at 2005-02-26 08:06:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey- 'technically' I'm from Ottawa too so that warrants a +1. Woulda been a 0 for proclaiming your newbie status tho.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-02-26 07:56:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That girl must have been scarred for life.... ha ha good.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-02-26 07:54:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
This story was hilarious, but I always -2 when people tell me it's thier first post.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-02-26 07:53:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
kill the stupid newb kill the stupid newb kill the stupid newb kill the stupid newb
+2 because i was this close to accusing G-Prime of "gratuitus friendly alter rate infaltion"
He would have killed you for us.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-02-26 07:51:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
kill the stupid newb kill the stupid newb kill the stupid newb kill the stupid newb
i don't know why, but that made me piss myself.
but, i have just been informed of my participation in a real life bunny boiler situation which could get really f'ing scary. it makes me feel wierd.
Submitted by negativesid (user info) at 2005-02-26 07:47:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I was trying to find a picture of a monkey fucking a cage, but couldnt find one. I wish I had my camera that day, that was a Kodac moment.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-02-26 07:44:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
This could have been executed better, but the story was funny and did in fact "make me smile (+1)".
Next time try to forego any preamble and just get to the story. Also, if the story is long, make sure you use paragraphs. Normally, I'd suggest finishing off a post with a picture, but considering the subject matter I'll just assume you used good judgement in not including one with this post.
All in all, not bad. Welcome to the retard parade.