PrePary Thoughts (395 hits)
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Submitted by AnotherStupidUsername (View user info) at 2005-02-26 17:35:39 EST
There's a massive party tonight, but I don't think I'm going. At least I'm not sure yet. I'd rather sit in my room, and listen to depressing music, read depressing books, and think I'm generally superior to everyone else.
I'm ready to fall in love with myself all over again.
It's funny, when I think about it, because generally I hate myself, but isn't that true love? Realizing that in all of the flaws and generally distaste for an external--and in this case internal--self realization of disgust, there is an overall like. In that "like", that overall encompass of all things drawn too, a love begins to form and envelope oneself until it becomes a passionate feeling that evolves until nothing else matters.
Regardless, I need to get laid, and my sexual nature battles internally within until I get off my dingy couch, put a bookmark in of mice and men, polish off my liquor, and walk dutifully over to my mirror. There I realize, that in despite of depression-induced appearances, the cliché dark sunken eyes with rippling black filth accumulated beneath them and an old sweater with an oxford shirt underneath, I still look largely attractive. A change of clothes and perhaps a shower, a gram of cocaine, and I'll be more then ready to woo ignorant freshmen girls who fall head over heals for my boyish good looks and schoolboy intellect. A fuck sounds pretty good right about now.
So...It's decided then, however indavertantly. If sex wins over depression, and I can't think of why it wouldn't, and right now it definately doesn't....perhaps after I find one or two of those young ignorant girls and take them to bed with me and gasp and groan and pump and sweat and ejaculate....then it can return, the depression that is. For now, I can wash off this grime, change and look forward to being presentable, and bury my nose into white powder and then eventually into smelly cunt, temporary happiness prevails.
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