Bagging Can Be Funny (705 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.86 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by tragiksaint (View user info) at 2005-02-27 10:38:50 EST
I used to work at a grocery store. Keywords are "used to." I absolutely hated everything about it. I mean, sure, there are some specific things that you can be doing that aren't too dreadfully demeaning or absolutely mind-numbing. My case, however, was being a cashier and occasional bagger. Being the cashier wasn't too bad, but standing there for hours on end bagging other people's things and listening to them verbally molest you if you don't use the wall and base method of bagging (if you ever did this you know what I mean). This case doesn't involve that though.
I still remember one day I was doing my usual thing, bagging for the endless hordes that usually showed up after 5pm. This one lady that decided to come into our line was obviously having a tough time today. Her baby was screaming it's fucking head off, almost begging me to punt it into the produce aisle. She had a carriage that was a veritable mountain, and being the lady of small stature that she was, picking up all of these value-size Tide's and 24 packs of soda was apparently hell on earth for her. Naturally, being the 'nice guy' that I am, I offer to unload her carriage for her so she could tend to her ferociously ugly and crazed child. Hell, I would be pretty stressed out if my kid was that ugly too.
Sticking to her guns, she proclaimed that "she could do it herself!" Okay, bitch, knock yourself out, I think. I didn't know how right I was.
Bending down to get the 24-pack of Diet Coke under her carriage, she obviously was struggling to pick it up. What you must understand is that these thin cardboard handles that they give you on the soda cases aren't exactly sturdy enough to support 24 sodas. Who knows what the fuck Coca Cola was thinking when they made these? It happens all the time. Someone will reach into their cart and pull out their case of soda, only to have the handle rip off, occasionally spilling their sodas everywhere. I get a little chuckle here and there from this, but this time was different.
So, she reached under her cart to get the 24-pack and began to lift it up, as I stood there watching her struggle. Lifting it to about her waist, the handle completely ripped off like nothing, sending all of that kinetic motion she put into it, straight into an uppercut into her own face. I'm telling you, this was a prizefight uppercut, right into her own jaw. I could not hold it. I BURSTED out laughing, so much so that I couldn't even stand up straight.
Standing there, baby screaming, sodas EVERYWHERE (some of them even busted open and spilling on the ground), she realized her complete and utter defeat. Naturally, I would be obligated to start picking up all of these sodas while telling her "not to worry, because nobody saw anyway." Here's the thing, EVERYBODY saw. The sound of the sodas smashing onto the ground turned every head within 50 feet. I was also still in no state to assist her, still uncontrollably cracking up.
In the middle off this absolutely PACKED store at check-out, this lady BURST into tears. Her baby was crying hysterically as well, and nobody knew what to do. This lady was humiliated and I was having the time of my life.
User Reviews
Submitted by matrix2681 (user info) at 2005-02-27 18:53:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
JUSTICE IS SERVED. Seriously I don't know why I keep finding posts about supermarket work, but each one has me thinking "GOD I wish I could have been there!!"
Jay--I live in America and the store I work at, we have the baggers, but they also bring in carts from outside and occasionally do porter work. Very rarely will you ever see a cashier bagging groceries, unless it's really late at night.
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-02-27 13:27:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I worked as a bagger for two summers when I was younger. Jobs like that are a real motivation to get into college.
This brings back so many memories and stories. I used to hate it when I would be pushing carts around outside in the sun in my uniform, and people would say, "Whoa! That's a lot of carts to be pushing around in this heat, especially for a young girl like you! Don't they have a boy who could do that?" I got that at least twice a week.
And this one time I had just finished bagging up a huge carriage while this one woman was standing around being useless, and then at the very end she started yelling at me about how she wanted double-bagged paper (god knows why) and I should have known that, and she wanted me to redo them.
Because I didn't really have anywhere else to find a job, being a fifteen-year old with no experience, I didn't tell her that she was an cum-guzzling wench who should go fuck herself with a rusty golf club, but instead I started dragging the carriage over to an empty register and taking everything out and rebagging it, and then tossing the tomatoes around inside the bag and shoving the bread down on the eggs so the eggs cracked and the bread got squished.
Petty revenge but it worked for me and she never came back as far as I know.
+2 for memories.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-02-27 13:06:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me giggle like a priest having his balls waxed. The last line sealed it.
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-02-27 12:28:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2005-02-27 12:21:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny stuff
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-02-27 11:00:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome post... but I'm confused.
So, where you live (America? England?), you have the cashier, AND someone who packs the bags? What the fuck. Here in Australia, we do both things. Gotta admit though, it's fucking funny when "self-assured" customers fuck themselves over with something stupid... and because you work that job 5-8 hours 4 or 5 days a week and you've seen everything the job has to show you, you actually know the right way to go about lifting certain things and such. So you try to tell them the right way, and they rip your head off. You just overcharge them $20 and deny ever serving them when they try to report you for it. Fuckers.
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-02-27 10:44:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I did the cashier thing. And I stole Altoids late at night.