That Time With The Kittens (1911 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.72 on 65 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Badlands (View user info) at 2005-02-28 10:31:32 EST
As I sit atop the cool porcelain ledge of the oversized tub, running my hand under the faucet, testing its temperature, I find myself thinking back to that time. That time with kittens.
Not sure why I'm back there again—to that time with the kittens. I haven't thought about them in decades. Maybe I've subconsciously blocked them from my memory. It's possible. It certainly isn't a pleasant recollection.
I run my fingers under the tap again. Getting warmer. Almost ready.
It's been well over twenty years now, since that time with the kittens. I'm not proud of what happened. It's certainly not something I wanted to do. But it was forced upon me. I hated doing it. But I had to. There was no other choice.
Funny, the image now is as vivid to me as it was the very day it happened.
---------------------------
My sister Jean was five at the time, which would've put me at seven. And Jean had a big brown tabby cat named Ginger.
Ginger was ugly. Ginger was mean. Whenever I'd come near her, she'd arch her back, and the hairs on her frame would stand at attention. She'd hiss violently at me. Just daring me to take a step or two closer, so she could slash at my soft pink belly with her talons and sink her razor-sharp cutters deep into the edged recess of my neck.
Ginger wanted to kill me. I was seven, but I knew it. Ginger wanted my blood. And I knew Jean wouldn't stop her from having it. I told mom that Ginger would surely take my life one cold, dark night while the house slept. Mom always reacted the same way.
With a toss of her pretty yellow hair and a hearty laugh, "Oh, Chuckie! What an imagination you have. I swear you should be a writer when you grow up."
"But mom..."
"Chuckie, darling. Ginger's just a cranky old tabby cat. Look at her over there with your sister. She's harmless. You worry too much, little man. Now go outside and play. Leave momma be for awhile."
I'd glance over to the couch—Jean sitting there smugly, while her satanic cat lay sleeping in her lap. It all looked innocent enough. But I knew better. That cat would hurt me someday.
That summer, Ginger, who I thought was just getting fat from all the table scraps that Jean was feeding her, actually birthed a litter of kittens. The whole family thought they were soooo adorable. Mom and Jean were incredibly excited. Even dad, who was never really the affectionate sort, broke character and said they were "cute."
There were four of them. Eeny, Meeny, Mynie, and Moe. Jean named them all. Mom said I could name two, but I wanted no part of Ginger's spawn. They would only grow up to hate me, I supposed. And now that there were five of them—six if you count Jean—I knew my days were numbered.
Mom caught me crying out behind the shed the next day. I didn't want anyone to know how scared I was, but moms are good at getting the truth out of little boys. And moms are even better at making little boys feel safer.
She sat on an overturned bucket and lifted me into her lap. As I wept into the soft flesh of her bosom, she rocked me slowly and stroked the soft curls of my auburn hair. She explained to me that Ginger's babies were new to the world and needed someone sweet and smart to help love and guide them.
Just like when sometimes Jean needs her big brother to help her tie her shoes, or hold her hand as she crosses the street, she explained. She said I was her sweet, loving boy and that it was my responsibility to teach those kittens, just like I help teach Jean.
I lifted my head, my reddened face awash with tears, and looked into the loving eyes of my mother. I knew she was right. I was a big boy. And those kittens needed me. I decided right then that I would make friends with them, and love them forever. Ginger too, if she'd let me. I threw my little arms around mom's neck and hugged her as tightly as I could.
"Can I go and hold the kitties now, mum?" I gasped, still choking on the salty tears that little boys sometimes find so hard to fight back.
"Of course you can, sweetie. Jean's with them now in the garage. I'm sure she'd love it if you joined her."
I reached the garage door, and stood outside for what seemed like an eternity. When I'd finally mustered the courage, I pulled the large swinging door open and stood silently. Inside was Jean, sitting Indian-style on the floor with a kitten in her lap and Ginger and the others to her immediate left.
"What do you want, dumb-dumb head?"
"Um...mom said I could help you pet the kittens." I spoke tentatively, distracted by Ginger's menacing gaze.
"Why? You hate the kitties. And you hate Ginger too. You don't want to love them like I do." She was making this hard. Ginger began to hiss. I should leave.
"C'mon, sis. I like them. Really. Can't I help, please?" I hated begging Jean, but I was severely outnumbered, and thus completely at her mercy.
Jean studied me intently. She was suspicious. She glanced at the litter, then settled her eyes upon Ginger. They stared at one another. It was as if they were sending telepathic signals, having a conversation that only the two of them could hear. Jean asking Ginger's permission. Ginger, no doubt refusing. I should leave.
After a time, Jean broke from Ginger's yellow eyes and turned back to me.
"Alright. I'll let you hold Meeny. But be careful. He's only a baby. And you'd better be nice to him, or Ginger will hurt you!"
I flinched at the threat. I knew it was a real one. I should leave.
I took a deep breath and began walking slowly, the gravel from the dirt floor crunching beneath my Zips, my eyes never leaving Ginger's watchful gaze. As I reached my sister, she slowly lifted the kitten from her lap and offered it to me.
I lifted the delicate animal and brought him to my cheek. He was warm and softer than I had imagined. I rubbed his pelt against my face, and giggled as the kitten nuzzled the nape of my neck.
"He likes you lots." My sister cooed with approval.
As if to validate her statement, Meeny let out a warm, guttural purr. Just as he did so, Ginger, having never let her watchful guard down, leapt from her station by my sister's side. Hissing with the venom of a thousand snakes, she attacked me.
The devil cat let out a piercing screech as she lunged for my tiny face. I turned only to see a blurry mass of dark yellow eyes, razor-sharp claws, and deadly fangs. Instinctively, I threw my hands up in front of me, inadvertently dropping Meeny onto the hard gravelly floor of the garage.
My sister screamed. The kittens squealed. And I hit the dirt with a dull thud, crying in pain and clutching my right cheek. The one Ginger left streaked with blood from three long claw marks that stretched from the corner of my eye to the edge of my bottom lip.
"You tried to kill Meeny! You dropped him you jerk! You hate my kitties, and I hate you! Mooooooommmmm!!!"
I scrambled to my knees, ready to run should Ginger decide to attack again. Jean bawled as she cradled poor little Meeny—who, other than being a little dusty—appeared no worse for the wear.
Suddenly, the garage door swung open with tremendous force, my mother bolting for Jean and I.
"What happened? What's wrong? I heard screaming. Are you kids...Chuckie! Your face!"
I ran to her crying, burying my head in her apron, clutching her waist with all my might. Jean began to wail even louder.
"He tried to kill Meenie! He dropped him so Ginger clawed him. It's not her fault mom. Chuckie started it!"
It went on from there. My mother, realizing quickly there was no real sense to be made from the situation, artfully calmed my sister and sheparded me into the house.
"She tried to kill me, mom. Like I said she would. And her kitties want to kill me too. And Jean too!" I was hyperventilating now, babbling incessantly, tears streaming down my face. Completely inconsolable.
My mother dabbed at my face with a cool washcloth, explained to me that the scratches on my face were just that—scratches, and that I'd be fine. She hugged me close and told me that everyone in this family loves me. No one wants to kill me, least of all Jean and her old, cranky tabby cat.
I knew better, though. Ginger hurt me. And I needed to do something. Before she eventually succeeded in killing me.
----------------
The next day, mom took Jean to her piano lesson at Ms. McGruder's house. Aside from dad, who was busy working in his study, I was the only one home. Ginger was in the garage with her babies. It had to be now. She had to pay for hurting me.
I grabbed an empty bucket from the shed, filled it with water, and stashed it around the side of the garage. I then ran back to the house, opened a can of tuna, and brought it outside.
The garage door swung out wide, concealing me from Ginger's line of sight. From inside the garage, the only thing visible to the cat was an empty backyard—and the open can of tuna sitting on the grass.
It only took a few minutes for Ginger to come wandering outside, slowly at first, sniffing the air for the delicious scent. Once her eyes locked on the open can, it was over. She began devouring its contents with gusto.
Seeing she was sufficiently occupied, I grabbed my water bucket and silently slid into the garage, closing the door behind me. Ginger was locked out. And I was all alone with the kittens.
I dropped to me knees, letting them crawl over to me. So precious. All four kittens desperate for attention, began licking my hands and purring with delight. It tickled. They were so sweet. And I almost changed my mind. Almost.
Carefully, I lifted the littlest one—Moe, I think—by the scruff of his neck, petted him a few times, and then thrust his head under the water in the bucket. There was a violent thrashing, and sparkling droplets of water sprayed into the air. I grimaced and buried him deeper into to the bucket. In time, the thrashing ceased.
Quietly, I lifted Moe's limp body from the water. Something pink and bloody hung from the animal's mouth. I couldn't tell whether it was his tongue or whether the precious thing had spewed its innards into the water in a last attempt to escape the brutal, lonely death of suffocation.
Soon, all four kittens were dead. Soon, four silent fur balls were dropped into a burlap sack I found in the corner of the garage. And soon, four little bodies would be safely buried in the field out behind our property.
As I exited the garage, Ginger flew past me in an effort to get back to her brood. I stopped and turned back to watch her. She looked confused and out-of-sorts. Not at all like the bloodthirsty killer she appeared to be just the day before. I smiled.
I left the garage door open a bit. Just enough for someone to reason that four kittens could easily crawl out and get lost, should, say...some neglectful little girl forget to shut them up properly before for her piano lesson.
We'd look for the kittens the whole rest of that day, and the next too. But we'd never find them. Mom would cry and it would take Jean weeks to get over it. Dad would shrug and say that it's unfortunate, but there's a lot of land out here. And lots of hungry animals. Anything could happen to four defenseless kittens wandering around.
Funny. I thought I'd feel bad for doing what I did—that time with the kittens. But I never did. Ginger hurt me. So did Jean. And they had to pay. I never had a choice.
------------------------
I found out today that my wife's been cheating on me. I had my suspicions, but I confirmed them today. He's her Obstetrician. That much I know. And I know he's fucking her, because I followed them to that Motel on Route 9 during my lunch hour. I could hear them from outside the door.
I still can't believe she'd hurt me this way. That she could be so cruel. I mean, our twin girls...they're only five months old. They're just babies. What kind of mother would do such a thing to her children?
She's supposed to be home from "work" in an hour. We'll see how sorry she is once she finds out that I know.
I shake my head in bitter disgust, and dip a few fingers into the tub below me. Bathwater's warm now.
I look down at the twins, playing quietly at my feet. They look so cute. So adorable. So innocent.
God, this reminds me just like that time with kittens.
User Reviews
Submitted by knowledge13 (user info) at 2008-01-30 13:57:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Definately a great story..I liked it a lot - Hope its not true. lol -- Good Word :)
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2008-01-30 13:14:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Super, uber bonafide, dude.
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 20:17:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by Draqus (user info) at 2006-12-03 19:25:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent.
Submitted by littledan (user info) at 2006-11-16 16:52:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was expecting something funny, then the drownings caught me off guard, but I honestly DID NOT EXPECT the ending. Wow. Great Job.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-16 16:07:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-11-16 15:56:06 (#)
Ranking: -1
you sick son-of-a-bitch...... you've had one fucked up life huh?
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See, see. It's idiots like you who run all the good writers out of here. Go read his work. He's awesome. YOU however are not.
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2006-11-16 16:04:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-11-16 15:56:06 (#)
Ranking: -1
you sick son-of-a-bitch...... you've had one fucked up life huh?
-----------------
Yeah...okay doll. Judging by your camwhore, life's been a whole lot easier on me than it's been on you, pig.
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-11-16 15:56:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
you sick son-of-a-bitch...... you've had one fucked up life huh?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-11-16 14:43:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm engaged!! W00t
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-07-25 19:45:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I miss you! E-mail me once and a while. Would ya?
Please post something F.
Submitted by ticklish_squirrel (user info) at 2006-07-25 19:04:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My...God...
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-07-25 18:42:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-02-28 10:35:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
...Ubersite in 'somebody actually wrote something good' shocker...
Post more or I'll hunt you down like buffalo.
===
I stand by this.
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:15:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
sick fucker!
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-02-08 17:03:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
man, keep writing here.
NOW!!!!
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-01-24 22:33:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
WTF IM NOT READING ALL THAT!!!
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-01-24 22:20:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow...
This is one of those posts where you don't care if it's long because it flows so smooth that you don't even realise it.
I thought the "satanic" cat was appropriate. My family used to call our fat evil cat satanic all the time.
Submitted by Blinkish (user info) at 2006-01-24 22:14:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-02-28 12:43:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
wow. words cannot describe my love for your writing sir. Excellent.
Submitted by cdoggown (user info) at 2006-01-24 22:03:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I know much better than average writing when I see it. If I could give you a 1.5 I would.
Submitted by belowground (user info) at 2006-01-24 21:39:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is well written. Good stuff.
Submitted by jagmcmanus (user info) at 2006-01-24 21:29:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
but there was 4 kittens
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2006-01-24 21:07:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man, my first daughter was born like three days ago. That makes it even slightly more odd that I chuckled at this post. Nice job.
Submitted by charminglybeef (user info) at 2006-01-24 20:48:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
The ending made the story in my mind. The morbidly-hilarious allusions to "that time with the kittens" grew old quickly, and by the time you had drowned the poor defenseless things I was frankly quite bored. The timing I thought was immaculate though: Still upset over the anti-climax of reaching the 'climax' I was delighted to see you tie it all in so cleverly.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-12-31 01:51:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Badlands seem to not go slumming at Uber anymore...
Submitted by Magic_Monkey (user info) at 2005-12-25 00:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just read all your post , where the hell have you been all this time ?! That was so fucking awesome !! Keep posting
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-12-21 15:43:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2005-12-21 14:35:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
*shudder*
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-12-12 15:51:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-12-09 08:27:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
where are you, a-hole?
------------------------------------
Freezing his ass up there in Rochester. I'll bet writing something for me would warm him up! ;)
C'mon dude, I'm only gonna beg forever.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-12-09 08:27:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
where are you, a-hole?
Submitted by BoxcarChild (user info) at 2005-03-15 17:41:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good stuff. Reminds me of the one where the dude beat his wife with the golf club =)
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2005-03-07 11:27:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Smooth as silk.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-06 05:24:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just read you are the best author on rawg's post, so i came to read this and it is brilliant. yay!
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-03-02 15:52:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is probably the best short story I have read on Ubersite in the past two months.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-03-02 15:06:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That was creepy...at least it was kittens and not puppies. Is it wrong that I enjoyed a story about killing some kittens?
Submitted by 1Point21Gigawatts (user info) at 2005-03-02 14:49:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
THANK GOD A FREAKIN' BADLANDS POST!
FINALLY!
Seriously, every time I see you review, I click on your user info in hopes of seeing a new post/
Man I fucking hate cats. I hope for your sake, that the last few paragraphs in the least are fiction...
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-03-02 08:33:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay! Badlands fix obtained, just have to wait on tenterhooks for the next post...
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2005-03-01 13:30:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Whoever said this website was just for "writers?" I never read that anywhere. If you don't like it leave. Quit whining like a little bitch. This post http://www.ubersite.com/m/59445 is high quality.
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I never said this webiste was "just for writers." I was just saying that when something this good gets posted, it's a damn shame that it stays under the radar while something like "My Baloney Has a First Name" gets 1,000 hits and 50 reviews.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-03-01 12:36:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I am now officially afraid of you.
Submitted by Imessedup (user info) at 2005-03-01 12:27:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2005-03-01 12:18:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
This post is a prime example of what shit Uber has become recently. This is one of best pieces of writing Uber has seen in the past month and it's got 26 reviews and what....not even 500 hits? Are you kidding me? You people should be ashamed of yourselves. We're going to lose quality writers like Badlands if this shit keeps up.
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Whoever said this website was just for "writers?" I never read that anywhere. If you don't like it leave. Quit whining like a little bitch. This post http://www.ubersite.com/m/59445 is high quality.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2005-03-01 12:18:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This post is a prime example of what shit Uber has become recently. This is one of best pieces of writing Uber has seen in the past month and it's got 26 reviews and what....not even 500 hits? Are you kidding me? You people should be ashamed of yourselves. We're going to lose quality writers like Badlands if this shit keeps up.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-28 19:34:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ok... But that phrase is realllllllly familiar. You "may have" stolen an idea? What, then, is the unoriginal bit? And where is it from? I'm sorry if this is unjustified, but the phrase has been nagging at me all day, and I'm really trying to figure out where I've heard it (or if I'm imagining things).
Submitted by StonedSilly (user info) at 2005-02-28 16:19:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I really can't, in good conscience, give this a +2, because of what just happened to my kitty.
But it was a good story. Mostly.
...
Stop staring at me.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-02-28 16:13:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-02-28 16:00:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck me...that was very spooky!
Submitted by splintergirl (user info) at 2005-02-28 16:06:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Although I love cats and cringed when the killings were happening, I really enjoyed this. The wife bit is good, but it would have been cool if her part in the story was longer. Loved it though.
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-02-28 16:00:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck me...that was very spooky!
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2005-02-28 15:50:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Espo - Thanks for the feedback, man. I appreciate it coming from you. Funny, I didn't really think the wife character deserved to be fleshed out any further. She had wronged him, and he was reverting back to the type of justice he found acceptable tp mete out as a boy. In my mind, I didn't think her crimes, other than the fact that she committed them, had any real bearing on the outcome of the story. But it's an interesting point you raise.
Lady - I won't claim ownership of the concept. I've read/watched plenty about people torturing animals (or in this case, drowning kittens). And I may have stolen an idea. I will however, tell you that the story itself, the characters, and the structure is mine.
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2005-02-28 14:53:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, I was just about to make a "where the hell is Badlands" post, and then you post this gem.
Feedback:
Very well written, as usual. Did not follow the typical Conflict/Crisis/Resolution model, which I personally hate, and thought that the story's plot was just as effective. A nice slap in the face to all the Aristotle Ass Sniffers out there. The foreshadowing with the water at the beginning was very well done...didn't give too much away. As for the "satanic" cat, I didn't think it was humorous, but rather a pretty vivid, overdone, exaggerated description of an "evil" cat from the perspective of a 7 year old boy.
If I had to pinpoint one area for improvement, it would be the end. The wife is kind of rushed into the end of the story, and I wanted her character to be a little more rounded. The kids and the lover can be flat as all hell, but I wanted just a little more info about the wife to round her out in my head.
Otherwise, amazing post. Top notch stuff as always - a pleasure to read.
Espo
Submitted by Otters (user info) at 2005-02-28 14:42:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty rad. I like how you kept repeating "that time with the kittens".
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-02-28 13:26:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was very evocative, but I have a nagging feeling that I've read this or something very similar before. These lines in particular
"Carefully, I lifted the littlest one—Moe, I think—by the scruff of his neck, petted him a few times, and then thrust his head under the water in the bucket. There was a violent thrashing, and sparkling droplets of water sprayed into the air. I grimaced and buried him deeper into to the bucket. In time, the thrashing ceased.
Quietly, I lifted Moe's limp body from the water. Something pink and bloody hung from the animal's mouth. I couldn't tell whether it was his tongue or whether the precious thing had spewed its innards into the water in a last attempt to escape the brutal, lonely death of suffocation."
It really seems like I've read them before. The entire story is very similar to something that I think I've read, but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt because I can;t remember where I think I've heard it from, or if I'm making it up. I don't think I am, though. Sorry.
That said, I agree with Teephphaph's comments about the 'satanic' cat. It just seemed like evil or Very Bad or something not quite so loaded with connotations would have been a better word choice. Very well-written, but as I said, the story is eerily familiar-sounding.
If this is just something that you've already written, and you just reposted, I'm sorry about suggesting anything rude. And if I remember where this might be from, and find it, and you've not said anything about it, I'm coming back and -2ing you repeatedly.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-02-28 12:43:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
wow. words cannot describe my love for your writing sir. Excellent.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-02-28 12:33:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Vividly detailed. You need a book deal or something.
I wish I had the motivation to create things like this.
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-02-28 12:02:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-02-28 11:35:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Badlands - I totally agree that a story doesn't really have to have a point or a "message." That's my personal hang-up, I just can't stop preaching to people.
Anyway, I'm going to stick to my guns on the "satanic" thing. Maybe he's an overly developed seven year-old, or one that has been raised in a very strict religious home (and there's an element that could be used to explain him and his sense of justice a bit, flush him out a little), but I don't think I ever contemplated the concept of "satan" until I was much older.
I'm going to stop nit-picking though, unless it is a C.U.N.T. post, I will take posts on their merits alone, and leave out the "You know what I'd do . . ." crap. You are a great writer, so you don't need any pointers from me.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-02-28 11:23:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the first non-shit waste of time post I've clicked on in days...
Well done.
Submitted by ardubs (user info) at 2005-02-28 11:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome, as always.
Submitted by AwesomeJohnson (user info) at 2005-02-28 11:17:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
crap!
Submitted by Badlands (user info) at 2005-02-28 11:17:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
T - Your criticism is always appreciated. Thank you for an honest assessment.
a) I don't believe that a good short story always has to have a point, per se. Sometimes, entertainment value is enough. You read it. And it evoked a response (you feeling ugly inside). If you were looking for some kind of profound statement about society, or some deep insight into the human condition, then you're right...it isn't here. But that was never my intent. Here is a man with a strong proclivity to violence and an overdeveloped, and extremly wayward, sense of justice. A man who would destroy beauty, even that of his own creation, to right what he feels to be profund wrongs against him. It's a belief he's held al his life (though it lay dormant for years). As to the "whys"...you got me.
b) Re: the "satanic cat" thing...no, I wasn't going for laughs. I think maybe I was trying to write from the perspective of the overactive imagination of a 7-year old boy, hence the gross exaggeration. Though maybe I shouldn't have. I clearly didn't pull it off.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-02-28 11:13:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2005-02-28 10:52:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
(forgive the criticism - I'm high on myself)
Very well written. I think I knew from the title where this was going, at least as far as the kittens were involved. The ending was quite a shocker and did a good job of clearing up the "why the fuck would you even want to tell this story?" that was going through my head for the first three quarters of it.
I feel ugly inside having read it. But I think you wanted that.
I LOVED the tender interaction with the mother. That was super. I didn't so much care for the establishment of the "evil" of Ginger. I got the feeling a couple times that you were kind of, sort of MAYBE thinking about trying to go for a joke or two in there. . . (the "satanic" thing mostly) but didn't quite commit to either doing it or not doing it. That broke the "reality" of it a little for me. (Is the cat really "satanic" or is he exagerating in a common way?)
And I'm still wondering what the point was, a little. Other than to be dark and disturbed.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-02-28 10:50:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have twin girls. When they were younger I had a dream that their Dad drowned them in a hotel room bathroom because we'd broken up.
Uhm.
This made my blood cold. And now I'm just.. gonna go and uh... check on the girls.
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-02-28 10:47:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's been a while since I've actually bothered to read one of the longer stories featured here. It hasn't been a disappointment. It reminds me of a popular comediant's most famous song, with in it a hungry dad, a precious little bunny-rabbit, and a vengeful son.
Nice work.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-02-28 10:44:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bitch has it comin'.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-02-28 10:44:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Disturbing. But excellent as usual.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-02-28 10:43:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Reading this post made me realize how much I missed your writing.
Glad you're back...at least for now.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-02-28 10:43:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
JEEZUMS
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-02-28 10:35:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...Ubersite in 'somebody actually wrote something good' shocker...
Post more or I'll hunt you down like buffalo.