The quiet of the morning, and why every man needs a rubber mallet (442 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.43 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by hungovermondays (View user info) at 2005-03-01 10:20:59 EST
He woke at seven in the morning after only five hours of sleep, and wondered why he was awake. There had been no loud sound, no pan crashing from five hundred feet in the adjacent kitchen, no other person in the bed turning, or socking him in the gut with a free elbow.
It was strange to wake this way, he thought, after taking a pill that normally ensured at least eight solid hours.
"It's seven in the morning," he said, and rolled over on his side, snuggling into the covers. It was quiet in the house, and he lay thinking of a girl from work. I would probably never date her, he thought, too young, ambitious, healthy, and stupid about life after college. And honestly, she isn't really interested in me either, to old, unambitious, cynical, and uncaring.
Still, he lay and thought thoughts about the girl, snuggled into the blankets and two green pillows, delighted with the luxury of the quiet. His feet were cold so he pulled them in, bringing his knees closer to his body, and tucking a bit of blanket in between the kneecaps. He breathed deeply and was contented.
Something irritating began beeping from someplace in the apartment, and then stopped abruptly. One of his roommates alarm clocks? Yes that must be it, he thought, what other thing could possibly make such piercing noises. I hate you clock, and the man that invented you, he thought.
He waited to hear the sound of a door opening, of the shambling of feet, the pouring of cereal into a bowl, but nothing came.
He drifted, wondering what the girl dressed like on her days off, what she might look like with nothing on at all. What size were her feet? He had never noted if they were big, or small, wide or whatever. He would remedy this, he knew, he would be sure to remember to look at her feet the next time he saw her. He would get to the bottom of the foot mystery, and this satisfied him, so that soon he could feel sleep lurking around the edges of his thoughts.
"BeBEEP.BeBEEP, BeBEEP, BeBEEP.........." went the clock.
"God fucking dammit!" went the man. It is bad enough when my own alarmclock goes off, he thought, now I need to listen to another one?
Silence. No beeping, shuffling of feet, no cereal in a bowl, no bathroom toilet being flushed.
The phone started ringing, and just kept on until the answering machine picked up. Is this a lazy competition? wondered the man.
"Hello Kitty....are you there? Kitty, I know you leave for work around 8, so you should be up about now. Hello..... Heeeellllloooooooo Kitty. Kitty come-on, it's Tom, I have something really important to tell you. Kitty pick up....Kit."
SMASH!
For good measure the man tucketed the rubber mallet into the belt of his bathrobe, and retired back into his room. He curled up into the blankets, and nestled his head into the two green pillows. He thought thoughts about a girl from work.....and slept.
User Reviews
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:37:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good direction you're going in.
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-03-01 16:47:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-03-01 10:26:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
The writing was good, the story was not.
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Agreed, but +1 for violencia
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-03-01 12:21:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I love the perspective on this, but you seem to be going for a mood and the grammar/typo mistakes were a mood breaker.
A good read.
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2005-03-01 11:25:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
not bad...
needs to be longer.
good job- though I liked the origanol better
Submitted by Kraven (user info) at 2005-03-01 10:30:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know this guys pain, but ... im the person in the other room hitting his alarm clock
three times in the morning. My roomates dont get up till after noon, so fuck them they'll
wake at 7 like i do!
Submitted by ICO (user info) at 2005-03-01 10:26:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Strange... but nicely written.
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-03-01 10:26:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The writing was good, the story was not.