EPISODE 91: "An Ether Rant" (831 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.3 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Chronicles of College-Guy (View user info) at 2005-03-01 14:37:46 EST
*THE CHRONICLES OF COLLEGE-GUY*
EPISODE 91: "An Ether Rant"
March 1, 2005
Prickling peaches of the mind. Each bite tastes like styrofoam. Don't look depressed, summer is right around the corner. Backpack nicknacks and crazy stereo baseball orgies. Left over cockroach funerals and never-ending celestial explosions.
Snoopy was a pervert. Unregained in wartime valor, he left his sense of spirit. Now it was all about getting drunk and sniffing an ass when no one was looking. The conquerer of Warsaw was now reduced to a petty smut-pusher, a dirty ass-hound.
Hidden penises in cornflakes and mystified eyes—or something...It's like grimy sponges sucking out your lungs. I'd give a record player for a Milky Way any day. Only if it's a gift for solitude.
Turning around, lifting up his hands to the warm Sun, young Robin Hood tries to feel the spirit that must come to him. He tries to touch heroism but finds only a black swimming pool of drowning whores and disease-ridden hippies.
An old man approaches some librarians and asks for a movie. He can't remember the name, but he knows its about an author with a name with a comma in it. No one knows what he's talking about. He's a raving lunatic and we all pray for Death to shut him up soon.
"There's a famous author," he rants. "I can't find it...Your system..."
Fuck off, grandpa. Ninteen ninety-one was over a dozen years ago. We don't take credit cards anymore.
"It's like 'The Great Gatsby'..." he says. "Do you list by actors?"
Mounds of beef dumped into the ocean. The black must die so that there are less of them. Africa is the weakest place on Earth. Venezuela must lead the revolution against America. SOMEONE must lead, for Christ's sake.
Robot warriors march in unison as Hitler takes the torch from Prometheus.
In olden times, we all had demons. Nowadays, the demons have us.
~~~~~~~~~~~
HEY YOU! DO YOU LIKE TEENAGE GIRLS?
If so, then help the College-Guy's infamous "Little April" post finally make it into Ubersite's Most Viewed Message ring.
What do you have to do? Only squeeze one out for Little April here:
EPISODE 56: "Teen Porn—Little April Directory" (Dec. 19, 2004) http://www.ubersite.com/m/54711
Current Number of Hits................... 25,905
Remaing to Make MVM List............. 176
DO YOUR PART! JACK OFF TODAY!
User Reviews
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:36:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
not so good,
not even for a soc (stream of consciousness) piece
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:46:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Johnathan_Brains (user info) at 2005-03-01 17:17:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for ether coinciding with my Hunter S. Thompson post.
============================
really? a coincidence?
funny how both of these are a week late, posted on the same day as the Steve Durel post.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:36:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
This is not the same author... unless he's bipolar. Which could very well be the .. nah, it's not the same author.
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-03-01 17:21:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
a comma in his name?
or did he mean apostrophe?
Submitted by Johnathan_Brains (user info) at 2005-03-01 17:17:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for ether coinciding with my Hunter S. Thompson post.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-03-01 16:43:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Chronicles_of_College_Guy (user info) at 2005-03-01 16:13:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
zakalwe:
And what's up with the numbering system?
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I'd tried going to a new Semester thing, but it didn't take. See my last post for details.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-01 15:07:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
i thought you'd died. welcome back college guy.
Submitted by Soul-Fly (user info) at 2005-03-01 14:59:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Little Aprils" tits are too big in my opinion.
kills the 12 year old fantasy.
WHAT ?
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-01 14:57:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this, Sam. It reminds me of another post you wrote a while back about acid. Something about a leather jacket.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2005-03-01 14:54:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Yup. Still trying to act like a "psychopath". God you suck.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-03-01 14:45:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Damn you and your superior hitwhorage. You have driven me from the way of the hitwhore. I am roadkill.
And what's up with the numbering system?