Adopt a Aussie (camwhore) (1647 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.38 on 38 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Saxon (View user info) at 2005-03-01 21:00:24 EST
Women only (sorry gay men but my sphincter is exit only), Adopt me please. I want to do Vegas with the UBER crew but I cant get the time off work, so I have to quit my job but in doing that I wont have a income and will quickly run out of money.
I don't eat much and am easily pleased, I only require a bottle of Jack Daniels a day and a tummy rub once a week. In return ill do your washing (even your underwear), mow your lawn and walk your dog to the pub on a daily basis. Hell ill even clean your toilet bowl.
You want a man around the house without the hassle of commitment? Leave me home with some alcohol and you can return home from a night out when ever you please, no questions asked. Hell if you didn't get lucky and bring a guy home you can ride my sorry ass all night long. (inebriation level permitting).
I can fuck, fight, push a pram and ride a bike and can even program DVD and video recorders (with manual). Got a problem car? Hell im your man, if I cant make it rattle and leak more oil then it already does then you need a new car.
Let me make you laugh, I can do shit that will make you puke with laughter and trust me, the head never leaves the body. Got a problem neighbor? I can pee 30 feet and have never lost a farting competition.
So what do you say girlssssssss who wants to adopt a Aussie.
Girls?
I say Lady's
Hello is anyone there?
Why is it so quiet?
User Reviews
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-09-29 20:59:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oooooooooo! I'm SOOOOOOO gonna git it when Saxy finds out what I dun!
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2005-09-29 20:40:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll pay you to kick my ass.
It would seriously be that much of an honor.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2005-09-29 20:27:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuckin a man ..sweet handlebar mustache
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-09-29 20:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm resurrecting this.
Don't spank me Saxon!
Well, on second thought, we'll talk about that later in private.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-05 00:34:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You are a glorious mustachioed stallion. Bravo.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:12:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I must now +2 you for my incompetence.
Submitted by InkyFingers (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:12:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It should read: "About -->an<-- Aussie". Auto -2 for errors in the title
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-03-02 09:29:58 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
cute
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-02 08:19:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually I am looking for someone to adopt *me* otherwise
I would be on that like white on bread.
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-03-02 07:38:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Thats a mustache, how long did it take to grow?"
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-02 07:34:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
merv!
(i know it has been said before for but I just had to say it)
Now we have Merv (saxon) and Ricky Ponting (hidden 101)
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-02 07:24:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Looks like you bowled a few hand grenades with this one MERV!! HOWZAT!
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-03-02 04:58:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Give him a try girls what have you got to loose?
Besides with that womb broom guaratee he will give you all a good sweeping.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-03-02 04:25:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
And here's me thinkin' all the while that you were Saxon from Australian Big Brother... imagine my suprise when I found out you were actually that guy from The Big Chill. I KNEW it - I SENSED celebrity.
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-03-02 02:22:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No seriously...
are those pants pleather?
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-03-02 01:22:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahahaha Dave i sold it too him. damn thats a terrible pic of Merv, i bet he shudders looking at that.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2005-03-02 01:14:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What a fine moustache you have Mr Saxon.
Was it modelled on Merv?
http://www.sporting-heroes.net/cricket-heroes/displayhero.asp?HeroID=1098
-Dave
Submitted by bart (user info) at 2005-03-02 00:50:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"1983 called, they want their porn star back."
That's awesome.
Submitted by MandaPanda (user info) at 2005-03-01 23:31:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Psh. Hands off, other girls, Saxon is mine.
Mwuahaha.
Not that I need a man right now. Last night, I put together a chair ALL BY MYSELF! It took me 4 hours, but that's besides the point.
I probably won't understand a word you're saying, Saxon, since I have a hard time with accents, but hey, I can smile and nod with the best of them. I'll even laugh when you tell me to.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-03-01 23:13:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't really know what's going on in this post...or I guess I should say picture because that's all I looked at...I think it was awesome, but I'm kind of confused and scared right now.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2005-03-01 23:12:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
hardcore
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-03-01 23:12:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey! I say Hey There!
I'd like to adopt you. Thing is, you might not want me to adopt you.
I'm an insomniac
A neat freak
A little Obessive Compulsive about how I do things
but otherwise, I'm a pretty easy going gal! ;-)
Submitted by Awko (user info) at 2005-03-01 22:31:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ten bucks says there's a packet of Winnie Blues up the sleeve we can't completely see.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:50:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:18:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
So, now that the pleasantries are over, what kind of beer is that? Or is that a squeeze tube of vegemite? GROSS!
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The beer is four x, the bottles are labled XXXX cause we cant spell beer hehehehehe.
Now Donkey i love you like a brother so i got to tell you we dont eat vegimite from a squeeze tube, we slather our bread and toast with it and sometimes lick it off the belly's of our women.
Submitted by Kre8rix (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:50:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:14:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
1983 called, they want their porn star back.
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HAHAHHAHAHA!!
+2 for looking like the guy I bought weed from in high school.
Submitted by Thored (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:41:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck. Yeah.
Submitted by Thored (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:41:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
+2 Good post.
-1 for "A aussie."
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:36:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Are your trousers pleather?
Is this for real?
It's like reading Bogue.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:35:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are those acid-washed jeans? You crazy or some shit mofucka? The fuck's your problem we living in like Sweden or some crazyness like that? AUSTRALIA?!?! OH.......that doesn't explain a thing.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:30:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
where's PotatoManJack?
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:24:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 cause that moustache makes you look like an actual saxon.
Or a ghey bikie.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:22:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:14:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
1983 called, they want their porn star back.
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:19:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
youre fuckin old!
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:18:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
So, now that the pleasantries are over, what kind of beer is that? Or is that a squeeze tube of vegemite? GROSS!
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:14:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
1983 called, they want their porn star back.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:13:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:02:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
I GOT FIRST DIBS!!!!!!!!!!!
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NO YOU DON'T BITCH!
Submitted by G-prime (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:07:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Eww... is that really you?
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-03-01 21:02:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I GOT FIRST DIBS!!!!!!!!!!!