My peener has a first name, it's......(a tribute to my peener) (1054 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.76 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by L.G. <el2tha.g.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-03-02 15:49:08 EST
I recently read this post http://www.ubersite.com/m/60922 and it got me thinking about my peener. What started as me trying to think of any names I might have given him turned into me thinking about how much I love the little guy. Me and him have been through some good times. So, without further ado, I present, in tribute, some random fun facts about my peener.
-My peener has it's own pillow, and his name is Chris Evans.
-My peener has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. I am not supposed to divulge this information, but my peener is the reason there have been no more attacks from Osama. I went to the Middle East, pulled my peener out, and slapped him with it. Can't attack shit when you're in a coma.
-My peener has been nicknamed "Mr. Wang", "Pannido", and "OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!". None by me.
-My peener has a motto. "If I'm coming out, there better be some suckin' or fuckin' baby."
-My peener has been the inspiration for many company slogans. M&M's(melts in your mouth, not in your hand), Pringles(once you pop, you can't stop), Coca-Cola(have a peener and a smile), Chevy(like a rock), Snickers(hungry? why wait?), and Burger King(your way, right away).
-My peener stands somewhere around 7". I only know this because in high school a girl wanted to measure him for me. He was around 6.5" then, so I'm allowing for some post-high school growth.
-Through the use of certain muscles, I can move my peener at will. This used to amuse the hell out of my ex. I think she spent more time staring at my peener giggling and saying, "Make it move again" then she did actually using it.
-My peener has never burned while I peed or oozed anything. I salute him for that.
-When I don't want to think or use my own brain, my peener can take over.
-My peener has it's own list of priorities. They are; sex, head, pooper sex, titty sex, handjob, jerking off.
-My peener is always in the mood. Always.
-My peener makes me click the NSFW posts while at work.
-A thorough study has determined that my peener has a higher IQ than George Dubya.
-My peener was set to star in a feature film, "The Peener in the Stone," where I would pull him from a stone, and use it's magical powers to become a king. The project was scrapped when I went on a children's show and re-enacted the scene where I shoot my peener's magical projectiles at the enemy.
-None of the women my peener has know have ever rated him less than a +2 MINE!
-My peener has one fear. Fat chicks.
-My peener has posted on Ubersite under someone else's name. Where else could "what the hell man if they are comin at you , means they want somthin ,more better you look after them and care for them ,than they get on the street uh?" come from?
-In fact, my peener has written this whole post.
User Reviews
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-03 12:24:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by InsoManiac (user info) at 2005-03-03 08:52:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehe, I giggle to myself as I realize that my own peener pales in comparison to your peeners greatness.
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thanks, me and him have had some good times
Submitted by InsoManiac (user info) at 2005-03-03 08:52:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hehe, I giggle to myself as I realize that my own peener pales in comparison to your peeners greatness.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2005-03-03 08:18:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hilarious
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-03 03:43:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
-My peener has it's own pillow, and his name is Chris Evans.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-02 23:57:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, the word "peener" didn't bother me until I read it about twenty eight times in this post. I wish you mixed that up with a few other euphemisms. Congratulations on having a wonderful one-holed friction whistle.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-03-02 21:36:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by NoahsArk (user info) at 2005-03-02 21:26:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2005-03-02 17:03:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Gotta love the peener....
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-03-02 17:01:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
peener bajina elizabeth regina
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2005-03-02 17:00:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Katastrofadark (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:53:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAH *snorts* AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH *chokes* HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:50:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-02 15:56:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm picturing you typing this whole post one letter at a time with your peener.
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Now I think I'm gonna have to get sick...thanks.
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:47:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by aceyloulou (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:28:35 (#)
Ranking: 1
Woulda gotten a +2 until I read the fat chicks comment. Don't knock fat chicks. They give great head!
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i think he's scared of being eaten up by one.
Submitted by aceyloulou (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:28:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Woulda gotten a +2 until I read the fat chicks comment. Don't knock fat chicks. They give great head!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:18:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
come on yall, say it!
"penis penis penis, vagina vagina vagina!"
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:15:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
peener is still funnier
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:15:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
COCK, COCKED, COCKING, COCKITTY, COCKY, COCKS, COCKILLY, COCKIDDY
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:08:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:06:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
CAN EVERYBODY JUST SAY COCK WITH ME FOR A SECOND PLEASE??
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Cock!
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:08:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-03-02 15:58:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
How fast can your wiener type? I need a paper typed up pretty quick?
Think he can handle that with little or no errors?
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a little lube can help him slide across the keys faster, but i guess it depends on how long the paper has to be.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-03-02 16:06:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It's not a fucking 'peener' - it's a cock. A COCK.
CAN EVERYBODY JUST SAY COCK WITH ME FOR A SECOND PLEASE??
God, you people.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-03-02 15:58:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How fast can your wiener type? I need a paper typed up pretty quick?
Think he can handle that with little or no errors?
Submitted by congo (user info) at 2005-03-02 15:58:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
(typing my rating with my peener)
cvoolk. Thjids weads funnnyt.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-02 15:56:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm picturing you typing this whole post one letter at a time with your peener.