(Poetry) Fool.... (521 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.5 on 13 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Kraven <heckler420.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-03-03 08:56:59 EST
For any of you guys out there who has ever been led to beleive a girl close to you was willing to change, and after a year throws it all away. This one is for us... Hope you enjoy..
Fool...
I am fool, i've learned today,
To think someone was willing to change,
I guess i saw more than the truth,
And i knew the day would soon shine through.
But not today, and not in this way,
A bit to soon, to be swept away.
I found myself, lost in my thought,
With no apparent path, i felt so lost,
It only took but just one minute,
To find my answer, and try to live it,
Im torn between my needs, and wants,
I'd blinded my self, with all my stunts.
She'd never wanted to be with me,
But that wasnt the path, i chose to see,
I looked right past, the facts in place,
My heart was to weak to keep the pace,
Slowly now, im catching my breath,
An added scar i'll carry till death.
But dont you worry, i'll be ok,
Im sure i'll find better, just not today,
Time will pass and you'll wonder why,
I've left your side, without saying goodbye,
All these years, you tried to be,
The best of friends to everyone but me.
What did i do to push you away,
Was it something that i'd forgotten to say,
I tried to ask, and you said it was you,
But when it comes to friends, it takes two,
You said you loved me as a friend,
But it all was a lie from start till the end.
Remember that day, i said i felt used,
And said i was kidding, and smiled at you,
Well once again i feel that way,
I was there when you needed, but you still ran away,
And god how i hate the way i was treated,
But i gave you chance, but my patience depleted.
You knew what i wanted, and ignored how i felt,
And this is the hand, that you've now been delt.
Your choice is made, and so is mine,
You knew it would happen in due time,
I do not expect for you to agree,
But theres nothing you can do to persude me.
User Reviews
Submitted by Kraven (user info) at 2005-03-03 13:15:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I dont know what EMO is....
I've asked over two dozen people and ... i still have no clue...
What emo is... someone help? Examples or something?
Kraven... and find i'll wait till tomorrow to post it :(
But when will i post my philisophical question "Why do women need dildos?"
Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-03-03 13:02:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So...
are you...
EMO?
Don't post twice per day.
Submitted by Kraven (user info) at 2005-03-03 12:48:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe a little later today i will put up another one i wrote two days before this one...
Im glad you guys liked it, and yea, every now and then i will write some lyrics down...
I just wished i had a band in the toledo area who was interested in what my lyrics have to say, i just need some guys who have been in some really shitty relationships, or know of some really stupid women i can write about, but then again i know alot of them myself.
Submitted by BludKake (user info) at 2005-03-03 12:17:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You wouldn't know poetry if it kicked you in the vagina.
Submitted by girlintheworld (user info) at 2005-03-03 12:01:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good, but watch the commas. In stanzas they're kinda not necessary unless you want to achieve a certain rhyming meter.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-03 11:05:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-03-03 10:17:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Reads like song lyrics. Do you write music?
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I agree. Poetry usually = barf to me, but this would make a kickass rock song.
You should send the words to the lead singer of that band Staind and they can make a song out of it and it will be a huge hit and then you can go to all their shows and get your peener serviced by groupies...
*gets lost in rock and roll pipe dream*
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-03-03 11:01:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2005-03-03 10:51:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm a huge poetry fan. This went over pretty well with me.
Suggestion: Try not to repeat yourself or mince words in order to make your lines 'fit.' Going out of your way to make a poem rhyme or stuffing it into a particular syllable pattern sometimes detracts from the actual poetry.
If you write in a specific style, then stick to it perfectly the whole way through. But on-and-off-again poetry sounds funny when re-read.
Good job, I hope you do more!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-03 10:46:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate rhyming poetry, but I liked the thought behind this.
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2005-03-03 10:17:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Reads like song lyrics. Do you write music?
Submitted by Leonfc (user info) at 2005-03-03 09:17:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good job
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-03-03 09:09:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-03-03 09:08:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate poetry, I hate poetry a lot. But I do appreciate the sentiment, especially on a day like today.