I Smell Pussy! (NSFL) (4251 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 1.58 on 34 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by E (View user info) at 2005-03-03 13:54:40 EST
But sometimes smelling pussy isn't enough. Sometimes you need to taste it too. (Although taste is 90% smell...hmmm) Going to the club and picking up a chick can be not only costly but also time consuming. Wouldn't it be great it there was a way to get that same great taste of pussy without the added time and expense?
Well now there is, with Poon Tang ™. Poon Tang is the preferred drink of inmates everywhere!
Are you a Premature Pete? Suffer from noodle dick? Haven't been with a woman in years because you can't seem to get rid of that nasty case of the crabs? No worries, Poon Tang won't discriminate. You'll be wearing a pussy mustache in no time!
Craving the taste of pussy, but afraid to go down because your woman's got enough yeast down there to open her own bakery? A healthy glass of Poon Tang will tide you over. Mmmmmm, that hits the spot!
How did we pack the powerfully potent taste of pussy in a powder? It wasn't easy. We had to spend night after night locked in an Asian massage parlor sampling one pussy after another, for months on end. There was absolutely no room for error, and there were some pussies we had to go back and re-taste five or six times just to ensure that we got it right. It was a tough job, but someone had to do it. If there's a better use for a federal grant, we can't think of one.
Want even better news? Poon Tang now comes in three great flavors! For those who crave that good old- fashioned taste there's "Purely Pussy." For those craving a more exotic taste, we encourage you to try "Preggo Punch." And for those of you with a sick fetish who crave that "on the rag" taste, we now have "Crimson Cooler."
Also, don't forget to try new carbonated Poon Tang, ™ the fizz that will make you jizz! Available at fine retailers everywhere!
WARNING: Do not attempt to fornicate with Poon Tang. We the good people at Huge Spooge Corporation are not responsible for any damage or urinary tract infections caused from granular substances lodged in your urethra. Poon Tang contains no actual pussy juice, and is made from 100% artificial flavors. Any similarities between the taste and/or texture of Poon Tang and Metamucil are purely coincidental.
User Reviews
Submitted by ronin828 (user info) at 2005-03-09 02:34:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"The fizz that will make you jizz."
Fucking brilliant
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-03-09 02:12:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Katastrofadark (user info) at 2005-03-04 03:17:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by aaron (user info) at 2005-03-04 03:06:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ding. ding. ding. Winner.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-03-04 03:01:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Four out of five inmates name Poon Tang as their beverage of choice. The fifth takes it up the ass from the other four.
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-03-04 02:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ha ha ha ha good one .I rike.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-03-04 01:58:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-03-03 19:31:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh, think I've seen "Poon Tang" done before.
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I can't say I've ever seen it (wouldn't have done it if I had) but it wouldn't surprise me. It's a pretty obvious joke.
Submitted by dudaculb (user info) at 2005-03-03 22:12:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
funny, i laughed +2 times.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-03 22:08:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm fucking eating here.
Submitted by epiphany (user info) at 2005-03-03 21:59:33 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by ThineJericho (user info) at 2005-03-03 19:31:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh, think I've seen "Poon Tang" done before.
Submitted by jme7551 (user info) at 2005-03-03 19:18:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think someone spiked my drink with that
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-03 18:54:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Who'd you blow to catch a 1.75 on THIS piece of shit post?
Submitted by LeggsTitsenarse (user info) at 2005-03-03 18:42:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I was going to give it just a plus one but then I saw the topic was "Business & Financial". HA HA HA HA HA!
Submitted by Kamargo (user info) at 2005-03-03 17:19:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's good soup... ermmm... poon... ermmm, whateva', it made me laugh
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-03-03 17:13:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
one of my favorite old-school jokes between me and my friends. + fucking two.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-03-03 16:21:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-03-03 15:54:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Does it come with hair?
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Yes, but you have to manually insert it between your teeth. Nothing like flossing with pubes.
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-03-03 16:09:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But what about the dick taste I sometimes crave?
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-03-03 15:59:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As my ole' pappy used to say " If it smells like fish, eat all you wish. If it smells like Cologne, leave it alone"
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-03-03 15:54:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Does it come with hair?
Submitted by rollerboognish (user info) at 2005-03-03 15:37:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Soul Coughing.
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-03-03 14:44:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
HAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA! BOB, I'd venture to say you're the single best reviewer on Uber.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-03 14:42:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Craving the taste of pussy, but afraid to go down because your woman's got enough yeast down there to open her own bakery?"
Yeah. She dropped her drawers and the Pillsbury Dough Boy fell out.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-03-03 14:28:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
AHAHAHA...That is really funn!!
Hahhah *snort* ahahaha
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-03 14:21:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Also, don't forget to try new carbonated Poon Tang, ™ the fizz that will make you jizz! Available at fine retailers everywhere!"
Seriously funny.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-03-03 14:21:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
HA!
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-03-03 14:15:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ew.
Tell me wat'chu really wanna do (Come here ma)
Talk to a nigga, talk with me
You look like you could really give it to a nigga,
from the way you talk and the way ya try to walk for me
The way you really try to put it on a dawg
Threw ya hips like ya never did before for me
The way you break yo' back, and I break yo' neck,
and the way you try to put it on the floor for me
(Come on!) Come on (Come on!) Oh yeah
Tell me where my niggas is at (Ok!!)
Lemme address y'all niggas one time,
while I lock that down, and I hit'cha wit that (YOU GONE!)
That bomb shit, y'all niggas gone all day
Be the nigga in the drop,
Y'all niggas know every time I come through,
this motherfucker, where we always takin the ride
(So let me do this bitch)
Y'all niggas know when we come, we be makin it flop,
the way we makin it hot'll make a nigga wanna stop... [pause]
Get money, then cash that check for me
All my niggas just bust yo' tech for me
Everybody from every hood bang yo' head,
'til you break your motherfuckin neck for me!
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-03-03 14:08:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Donkey, we the good people of the Huge Spooge corporation are always looking to add new talent to our product development team.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-03-03 14:01:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My idea is better. I plan on making it a friction activated warmig paste in a squeez tube that you can rip off the top and stick your penis into. It will be like that Oral-B Brush Up commercials. Rip, Slip, Stick, Ughhhhhhh.......
<passes out>
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-03 14:00:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ewwwwwww
+1 for B_Bob's comment.
Submitted by Soul-Fly (user info) at 2005-03-03 13:58:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
This isn't "HA HA" funny, but it's at least "HA" funny.....
"Ha"
Submitted by Envenom (user info) at 2005-03-03 13:58:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YELLOW NUMBER FIVE YELLOW NUMBER FIVE FIVE FIVE
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-03 13:57:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
huh huh, he said "poon"
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-03 13:56:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Caption: It taste rike sushi.
Now to read it.