10 Reasons The Bitch Dumped Him (1450 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 0.59 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Lone Stranger (View user info) at 2005-03-04 01:15:43 EST
These are ten reasons why Damsel in Depress(DID) dumped Brutally Honest Boyfriend(BHB).
Her Short Hair Cut
DID: Do you like my new haircut?
BHB: Christ! You look like a boy! I'm not Catholic!
Her Auto Accident
DID: I'll be OK. It's just a broken wrist and smashed face.
BHB: At least the car isn't a write-off.
After A Fight
DID: Do you still love me?
BHB: Still?
Lying In Bed Together
DID: Do you think I'm sexy?
BHB: Pssssht no! Why do you think I buy all those pornos? To masturbate?
Telling Him She's Pregnant
DID: I'm Pregnant
BHB: We better start looking for a good shrink. This kid is gonna be FUCKED.
At Her Tragically Young Mom's Funeral
DID: I am so sad!
BHB: Me too. Now I can't see if you're gonna age gracefully or just turn into a wreck at 40.
After He Convinced Her She Is A Worthless Piece Of Shit
DID: Why do you stay with me?
BHB: Huh. I dunno. Must be the corn-fed boobies.
Feelin' Frisky
DID: Baby, come give me some lovin'!
BHB: Woman, you know damn well the DVD player is broken.
After Dinner
DID: Did you enjoy the meal? I spent 4 hours preparing it.
BHB: Next time just put some shit on a shingle. It will save you 3 hours and 57 minutes and yield the same result.
Trying On Clothes
DID: Do I look fat in this?
BHB: You look fat in everything because you are a motherfucking sowcow. And not the fugure skating kind, but the kind that is both a pig and a cow because you look like a pig and you eat like a cow.
User Reviews
Submitted by Genko (user info) at 2005-05-25 18:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Stabkill's an asshole.
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-05-24 23:46:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by ZainBrandow (user info) at 2005-03-31 14:15:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
boring kinda funny
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-03-04 12:15:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-03-04 10:59:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-03-04 10:45:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sure it amused me
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-03-04 10:38:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
rad - go ahead and post it. There is no such thing as copying. And Pacifico rocks.
urbane - I am not a chick, and I don't act like this dude either. I wanted to epitomize all the insecure womens out there along with all the asshole mens, and then put them together for failed relationship hijinx.
Submitted by Kraven (user info) at 2005-03-04 09:39:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
hope its not to late...
meh
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-04 08:31:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Why do people ask others if they "look fat"? I, for one, would rather not know.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-03-04 07:26:47 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
+2 for dealing with him
-1 for asking if you look fat
-1 for asking if you're sexy
-1 for asking if he still loves you.
dude. i'm female... so it's not like i'm some guy bitching about how women are.
it's just revolting when women act like that.
don't do it. seriously.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-04 07:07:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for drinking Pacifico
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-03-04 06:29:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Better idea: Anal
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-03-04 06:10:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
M to the E to the H, full stop!
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2005-03-04 04:13:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-03-04 03:27:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by aaron (user info) at 2005-03-04 02:49:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I like your style. Could have used a bit more content though.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-03-04 02:47:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
He fucking told you, bitch. You're so fat.
Submitted by PrescriptionX (user info) at 2005-03-04 02:17:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
DID: Do I look fat in this?
BHB: You look fat in everything because you are a motherfucking sowcow. And not the fugure skating kind, but the kind that is both a pig and a cow because you look like a pig and you eat like a cow.
Now that's the way to answer that question!
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-03-04 02:05:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wasnt bad but you can do better
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-04 01:57:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
what gets me is that I am getting ready to write a piece about male-female relationships in this context. I guess I have to wait if it doesn't look like I am copying.
Submitted by Wallstreet (user info) at 2005-03-04 01:50:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice. That has to be from a movie. BTW I am intoxed. Will be for another week. Then I have to start the new job I got in which I will not be able to booze durning the week. The real world blows. 9 to 5 sucks.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/60519
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-03-04 01:45:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have no idea. I just did a google image search for woman slapping man.
Submitted by Wallstreet (user info) at 2005-03-04 01:43:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The pic though....whats it from??
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-03-04 01:41:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No quotes. I just sat down with a mediocre idea and wrote.
Submitted by Wallstreet (user info) at 2005-03-04 01:40:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
After Dinner
DID: Did you enjoy the meal? I spent 4 hours preparing it.
BHB: Next time just put some shit on a shingle. It will save you 3 hours and 57 minutes and yield the same result.
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OK I give....what motherfucking movie is that from?
Submitted by Wallstreet (user info) at 2005-03-04 01:39:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-03-04 01:31:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wanna set the record for longest 0 "meh" streak.
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-03-04 01:31:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fter He Convinced Her She Is A Worthless Piece Of Shit
DID: Why do you stay with me?
BHB: Huh. I dunno. Must be the corn-fed boobies.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-04 01:30:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Meh
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2005-03-04 01:21:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, I agree. Meh.
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-03-04 01:19:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
meh