I am the ultimate badass! (579 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.6 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by yermom (View user info) at 2005-03-04 09:02:10 EST
I know, I'm such a badass, and you're probably wondering how it is I got to be this way. Well, I wasn't always a bad ass, but I knew that I had the potential. My whole life I've been busting hump to get things done and doing it the hard way. That's how I became who I am today.
When I was young I had the typical family life, an abusive alcoholic father, and a mother who took all of the abuse. Its not like it was a bad life, fairly typical of the times, god love good old dad, he taught me everything I know.
Same idea as http://www.ubersite.com/m/61122 just trying to go for different personality types.
I was a normal kid for the most part, grew up watching television, playing in the yard, I was always smaller than most of the other kids, almost always picked last for sports, but I didn't mind I always showed up to play.
When I was eleven I came home with a black eye, that's when the old man taught me how to box, he was even nice enough to show me how to cheat, even he underestimated me, not that I didn't have to throw dirt in the eyes of an opponent before, or knee someone in the balls when I was being overpowered, but fuck them, I'm the badass now.
I finally got my growth spurt my freshman year of high school, I made the football team as the starting linebacker, they called me Alabama Ugly, I was the meanest most ferocious player on the field. High school really was the best time of my life, the girls the parties, the drugs, the booze. Boy those were wild times. I knew when I graduated I wasn't cut out for college, mainly because I was told I was too dumb to go to college. These people don't know shit, but then again, I never wanted to go anyway.
I joined the police academy two weeks after graduation, a month later I was on my way to motorcycle beat cop, I always loved CHIPS, and now I can harass the people of my town who looked down on me, and abuse the power the law has vested in me. I'm the ultimate badass; I mean come on look at my mustache.
User Reviews
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-03-04 09:36:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sorry Mr. Wolf, I'm just a fan of the horrible cop stash.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-03-04 09:23:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That's how all cops become cops. Little guy syndrome. I jest, please god let that really be you, and let that really be your moustache.
Submitted by yermom (user info) at 2005-03-04 09:17:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes! My plan to get Denise Richards is well on it's way, now all I need is the millions of dollars and the good looks. I'm so in there.
Submitted by Kraven (user info) at 2005-03-04 09:15:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate cops... specially ones that look like gay Burt Reynolds(Spelling?).
Submitted by HZRD (user info) at 2005-03-04 09:15:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
who wants a moustache ride?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-04 09:12:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-04 09:06:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man, I just read that Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are getting a divorce. If those 2 starry-eyed kids can't make it, is there any hope left for the rest of us?
-----------------------
Ummm... my thoughts exactly.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-04 09:06:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man, I just read that Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards are getting a divorce. If those 2 starry-eyed kids can't make it, is there any hope left for the rest of us?