My Grandmother always said we needed America - for a place to keep Americans. (NSFDanger) (1374 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.36 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Danger Ranger <harveyra.at.iprimus.com.au> (View user info) at 2005-03-05 08:09:04 EST
Back in 1942 some twat in aviator glasses - Douglas Mac Carthur, Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, Michael Jackson... fucked if I know.. anyway some twat in stupid sunnies set up base here to oversee operations in the pacific theatre. My Grandmother told me stories of loud-mouthed Amercian servicemen with incredibly small peeners who spent most of their "down time" trying to molest the massive influx of New Zealand trannies that made the trip over especially... "Always remember, Danger", she'd say, ruffling my hair as we sat under the Macadamia trees in her backyard eating lemon-butter sandwiches, "We NEED America - it's somewhere to keep the fuckers.."
I have included a MP3 for the benifit of those who'd like to sing along. Unfortunately it only lasts for one verse, but you can always play it again, Uncle Sam. The Americunts amongst you will appreciate I haven't touched the final verse, why would I? - it's perfect. You seppo's sure sound like you've got a lot in common with those ker-razy boers and their whole 'promised land' malarky..
*m-m-mpgh - clears throat* ... *doh, ray, me, far, so, la, te, doh* ... *ahem*
Oh-oh, say can you seeeeeee, by the headache you've got,
That you muuuuuust have been drunk, you hope that you were dreaming,
Who the fuck's lying therrrrrrrrre, yuck is that a blood-clot?
P-p-pull back the sheeeets, find the fag you were reaming.
And the goatse's red glaaaaaaare, a fart bursts in the airrrrrrrr,
Gave proof through the night that you put it in there.
O-o say, you're a-a star-spangled wa-a-aaan-ker depraved
In the land of the far-right and the home of the ghey.
Oh I'm sure, dimly seeeeen - 'cause you're not all halfwits,
Neither you - the U.N., could find nukes Bush opposes,
What is that which the breeze? oh the smell of bullshit,
As it fittt-fully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
But your U2 spy plaaaanes,they could find them agaaaaain,
And you'll find some proof, it was Ca-naaa-dians:
You are star spa-an-gled war-mongers dro-op-op-ping bombs on babies
From the land, air and sea, all for deee-mocracy.
An-and where is that band who so vauntingly swore
It smells like teen sp'rit, and they played with distortion
Oh-oh that's right he's dead, and his wife is a whore
So easy to buy guns but you don't like abortion.
Commonsense couldn't save, Kurt from blowing his brains
all o'er the wall, or a new band for Dave:
'Cause star-spangled waaannn-kers like Cha-a-arlton fucking Heston
Think that guns are da' bomb, and that lifes a Western.
Oh! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved homes and the war's desolation!
Blest with victory and peace, may the heaven-rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation.
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: "In God is our trust."
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave!
anthem.mid (3 kB) [audio/midi]
User Reviews
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2008-04-10 03:25:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would quite possibly have gay sex with Val Kilmer.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2008-04-10 02:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"We NEED America - it's somewhere to keep the fuckers.."
love it...
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2008-04-10 02:06:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha!
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-28 16:10:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-30 06:31:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-26 14:09:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-26 03:55:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-04-18 23:09:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-03-05 09:52:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
broad sweeping stereotypes are always true
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-03-30 06:31:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-26 14:09:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-26 03:55:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-04-18 23:09:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-03-05 09:52:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
broad sweeping stereotypes are always true
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-05-26 14:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-26 03:55:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-04-18 23:09:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-03-05 09:52:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
broad sweeping stereotypes are always true
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-05-26 03:55:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-04-18 23:09:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-03-05 09:52:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
broad sweeping stereotypes are always true
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-05-26 03:09:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're right there, minger.
Submitted by Hairsphincter (user info) at 2005-04-18 23:09:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-03-05 09:52:33 (#)
Ranking: 0
broad sweeping stereotypes are always true
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-03-08 06:25:59 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for making fun of my "big" friends.
Submitted by Calios (user info) at 2005-03-06 16:22:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
why do people have to be so
god damn loud all the time?
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-05 20:46:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-03-05 09:24:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-05 09:12:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Australia. Isn't that where..?.......oh, nevermind.
-----------------------------------------------------
Brisbane. I saw you coming a mile away on your previous response - so here's something I prepared earlier -
She KNEW they had small peeners 'cause she worked as a nurse at a local VD clinic - the trannies from New Zealand would tell her. She also said that every Sunday, our lads would play some rugger against them - put up quite a show apparently... big 'girls'..
***Shuuuure she did.....vd clinic, trannies from NZ...the lads told her. What a drek you are...Gor, Brisbane!!
Yankee Doodle went to town...riding on an Aussie
Stuck a feather in his hat
Cause he was quite saucy
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-03-05 17:47:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by The_Grammar_Nazi (user info) at 2005-03-05 16:25:40 (#)
Ranking: 1
Who in the name of Hermes Thrice Greatest is "Douglas Mac Carthur?"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Like I said, "... fucked if I know..". I quite obviously can't spell it... But I can spell 'Tom'.
Submitted by The_Grammar_Nazi (user info) at 2005-03-05 16:25:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Who in the name of Hermes Thrice Greatest is "Douglas Mac Carthur?"
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2005-03-05 12:20:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-03-05 09:59:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2005-03-05 09:52:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
broad sweeping stereotypes are always true
Submitted by Alfa_Veloce (user info) at 2005-03-05 09:29:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-03-05 09:24:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-05 09:12:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Australia. Isn't that where..?.......oh, nevermind.
-----------------------------------------------------
Brisbane. I saw you coming a mile away on your previous response - so here's something I prepared earlier -
She KNEW they had small peeners 'cause she worked as a nurse at a local VD clinic - the trannies from New Zealand would tell her. She also said that every Sunday, our lads would play some rugger against them - put up quite a show apparently... big 'girls'..
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-05 09:12:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Australia. Isn't that where..?.......oh, nevermind.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-03-05 08:58:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-03-05 08:26:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
I should probably add that I don't hate Americans individually... I know a lot of great Americans. But the country as a whole absolutely stinks.
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No, I don't hate them individually either... I like the White Stripes.. and Rad - he's an Americunt... and the entire Cleveland Browns playing roster.. the coaching staff... and I guess Sassmasterr is alright too... but I don't like that Art Modell, no siree, he's a cunt.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-05 08:56:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-03-05 08:42:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-05 08:37:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Mr. Ranger
Fuck You.
Regards,
America
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Ahh, a sense of "humor" - is that how you lot spell it? +2 for you Rad ol' chum.
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HAHA - I got "Love, America" on my post. *feels good about himself*
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-05 08:51:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You ever wonder how your Grandmother knew they had small peeners?
(Slut, just like all those European women trying to yank up a Yank. (I should know, look at my mother! )
Ever wonder what life would be like if the rebels hadn't left England and started America?
Good bit of writing, though.
Even if you are a foreign fag...*snicker*.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-05 08:50:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
ha! we own the world. nice tune, though.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2005-03-05 08:42:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-05 08:37:18 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Mr. Ranger
Fuck You.
Regards,
America
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Ahh, a sense of "humor" - is that how you lot spell it? +2 for you Rad ol' chum.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-05 08:37:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dear Mr. Ranger
Fuck You.
Regards,
America
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-05 08:28:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You had me at, "find the fag you were reaming."
Pure gold.
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-03-05 08:26:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I should probably add that I don't hate Americans individually... I know a lot of great Americans. But the country as a whole absolutely stinks.
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-03-05 08:25:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Woh!!! Danger, my man, you most CERTAINLY rock.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-05 08:24:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAH
I have nothing against Americans. I freakin' love everybody.
But BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA