Blah blah blah etc (1040 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: uber-related
Rating: 1.45 on 41 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe <fickle.muse.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-03-05 11:27:10 EST
I gave you bastards all the time in the world. It was my one year Uberversary last week, and I was expecting a tribute post, maybe some gifts of cash, perhaps a firstborn child or two. But you let me down in a big bad way. Coyote, LadyPlural, Snark; you, at least, I thought would sing my praises to the world. But all I've gotten from you three in the last week is phone sex, email forwards, and nude pictures of somebody's dead grandmother and quite fucking frankly, it's not good enough. Lift your fucking game.
I cried, you know. Every evening I'd sit here, fruitlessly scanning Uber for a hint of the revelry celebrating the presence and glory of Me, and I found nothing. Not a hint, not a sign. I thought maybe you were planning to surprise me so I covered my eyes and jumped out from behind the door wearing my little party hat and my good dress and still, nothing. You don't know pain and misery until you've tried to blow one of those paper noisy whistle things only to find that it's too sodden with your tears to make any sound.
So, in the absence of any appreciative worshipful posts, I decided to write my very own.
Unfortunately, it turned out rather short.
"It's been a year. You guys rock. Thanks."
So I considered, instead, telling you the story of my life. I got as far as "And that was the thirteenth time I took acid. And then we had some more sex" and realized it was all a bit... samey.
Starting to get a bit desperate, I decided to fictionalize my life. Make it exciting and cool, you know? But somewhere in the middle I realised I was directly quoting "The Grapes of Wrath" and gave it up as derivative and frankly, kinda depressing.
My next idea was poetry. I know poetry doesn't go over well on Uber, but I'm feeling brave and, fuck it, it's Saturday, who the hell is gonna read it anyway?
"There once was a young girl named Lyn
She'd have been awesome if she were thin"
And then I like.. got depressed... and drunk.
So I figured I'd relate some funny story about the kids or something, but there's only been one thing the Boy has done this week, and it's not long enough for a post. We were at my sister's, and she had commented that my son never calls her "Auntie Jenny." It's just "Jenny."
Seth: That's because you're cool.
Jenny: Awesome! How cool?
Seth: REALLY cool. You're fully wick. [sic]
Me: Am I cool?
Seth: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA no. You're Mum, stupid.
So all that's really left is the girls, and for better or worse, how much they've grown. (Scroll down.)
Or my wedding - less that a month away and still less organised than my medicine cabinet. (To give you an idea, I still have this anaesthetic mouthwash from when I had my tongue pierced, and I took the piercing out three years ago.)
Or the imminent arrival of my fiance - ONE WEEK AWAY! Two years of long distance phone calls, IM arguments, plane rides and visits and goodbyes, hotel rooms and diamonds and pizza and porn, visa hassles and paperwork and disapproving family, and ONE WEEK!!
It's been a year. You guys rock. Thanks.
User Reviews
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-05-20 05:51:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:43:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Doneupandin (user info) at 2005-03-08 11:07:41 (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a fucking retard. Dont post again.
--------------------
*Comes and collects Doneupandin, physically turning him in the opposite direction away from the brick wall...*
"Circe, I am soooo sorry. He just wanders off sometimes and forgets where he is..."
*points Doneupandin toward the polyamorousaj posts*
"there you go, child... Go forth and multiply..."
*rubs hands together, grinning in malicious amusement*
Submitted by Doneupandin (user info) at 2005-03-08 11:07:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
You are a fucking retard. Dont post again.
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-03-07 11:22:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the babies, they look fiesty.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-03-07 09:43:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-05 12:20:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-03-05 12:18:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
fartman signed up 5 months before you posted: http://www.ubersite.com/m/33379
i think he wants you Circe. better watch out.
___________
Who can blame him?
*struts*
*falls over*
*crawls under the bed to cry*
------------------------------
Drat! Foiled again!
And so the saga of my unrequited love for her continues.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-03-06 23:46:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Happy
Submitted by screamfeeder (user info) at 2005-03-05 22:26:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who are you again?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-05 19:28:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I was ready to let you blow me for your anniverasry but I don't remember any sucking going on in MY pants.
Blah blah blahski.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-03-05 18:37:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I had a really witty comment to make, but your coolness has rendered me verbally impotent.
Happily, though, not physically impotent, as I'm sure that you well remember from last night. And will find out again tonight. I'll do that thing with my tounge that you so dearly love.
Deal?
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-03-05 18:06:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
As President of the secret Anti-Circe Society, apologies for not marking this occassion in osme suitable way
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-03-05 15:40:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats on that...lasting a year.....here?
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-03-05 15:22:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin newbies...
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-05 14:42:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:34:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
All twins should fight to the death. The remaining child will assume a dominant role in society, like postmaster general, or boy band manager.
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2005-03-05 14:42:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
guess not
Submitted by DyingBreed (user info) at 2005-03-05 14:41:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
the kid in the last pic had a solid mount and probably could have inflicted some damage had not a ref stopped the bout
hmmm...wonder if html will work here
<img src=http://stuff.ubersite.com/1110040023186832700/1/joy2.jpg>
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-05 14:27:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Happy Anniversary Lynnie!
The Two Queens shall rule one day...although we don't have the cognitive capacity.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-03-05 14:13:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
stfu n00b!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-03-05 13:20:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Seriously though.
Here is a special song for your special (belated day)
The part of Barney Rubble will be sung by myself.
Happy Uberversary!
Happy Uberversary!
Happy Uberversary!
Haaaaaaappy Uberversary!
Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Uberversary!
Happy Happy Happy Happy Happy Uberversary!
Happy Uberversary!
Happy Uberversary!
Happy Ubervers... a fuck it. Show us your tits WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-05 13:19:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations Circe. You are the bees knees.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-05 12:55:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you still talking or can we fuck now?
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-03-05 12:32:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who is Circe?
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-03-05 12:22:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dat's buttons, doll.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-05 12:20:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-03-05 12:18:24 (#)
Ranking: 0
fartman signed up 5 months before you posted: http://www.ubersite.com/m/33379
i think he wants you Circe. better watch out.
___________
Who can blame him?
*struts*
*falls over*
*crawls under the bed to cry*
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-05 12:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fartman - Hehehehehehe. I wish I could say I'm sorry...
Apollo - Tongue in cheek, you scouser cunt. I don't take myself THAT seriously.
Submitted by BigJoe (user info) at 2005-03-05 12:19:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
mmmmmmmmmmm...baby...delicious!!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-03-05 12:18:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
fartman signed up 5 months before you posted: http://www.ubersite.com/m/33379
i think he wants you Circe. better watch out.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-05 12:15:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
wah wah wah.
i own you.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-03-05 12:11:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congrats, Circe. I guess this is a good time to fess up. I "lurked" around here for about a month, then one day I stumbled across this: http://www.ubersite.com/m/33379 and was hooked. I signed on immediately. Thanks a lot, bitch.
Love, Fartman.
Submitted by Shay (user info) at 2005-03-05 12:07:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:59:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Maarten better watch his step, cause if he fucks up, you're mine!!!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:56:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you are a pretty funny consumer...
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:53:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Howie_Felter (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:47:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
If this isn't a cry for attention, I don't know what is!
______________
Well done! I don't know how you managed to see through the subtlety, but kudos to you.
Just not too fucking bright, are you?
Everyone else: say it with cash, people.
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:51:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
uhhh...Congrats?
I'm too lazy to check your user info and see.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:50:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Howie_Felter (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:47:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
If this isn't a cry for attention, I don't know what is!
===
Shhhh! Look at me! Me! Not her!
Submitted by Howie_Felter (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:47:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If this isn't a cry for attention, I don't know what is!
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:36:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
How do you manage to turn nothing into hilarity? I doubled over as usual.
Happy Uberverssary. You RAWK!
Submitted by aceyloulou (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:36:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
um...happy anniversary??? cute kids
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:34:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
All twins should fight to the death. The remaining child will assume a dominant role in society, like postmaster general, or boy band manager.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:34:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
haha Circe, happy anniversary, I love you.
I haven't talked to you in forever... I didn't realize ole boy was coming so soon, or that your wedding was just around the bend.
As a side note- whenever you post your conversations with your son, it makes me want to have a kid...
YAY CIRCE I LOVE YOU
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:33:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOHOO!
Here's to the next one girlie...
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-03-05 11:30:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, if the phone sex wasn't good enough, then I don't know WHAT to think!
Well, Happy UberAnniversary. You rock.