Only Criminals Have to Call Me Officer III---Shhhhhhh I'm hunting wabbits (678 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: 1.22 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The W (View user info) at 2005-03-06 04:03:30 EST
I have recently been reemployed and working at shitty apartment complexes again. These places are a mecca for drug dealers and the most diverse group of residents that you can imagine. Basically ignorance runs through these places like the black death, and its my job to create some order to the chaos that is the hood.
But today, this is not what this post is about. This post is about a special crackehad that resides in the neighborhood I protect.
His name is E.T.. When he gets drunk and high (or whatever you call it when you do crack), he believes himself to be the mayor of the apartment complex, and introduces himself as such. He always has about three or four dealers hanging out as his apartment on the weekends sitting on the deck drinking and doing whatever they do. They're generally harmless and keep to themselves so we normally don't bother them until about 2 or 3 am when we tell them to turn down the music and go inside.
Anyway, my partner and I are driving though the complex this evening, and we see "The Mayor" and a member of his Crack Consortium out in the middle of the street. As we drive by, he yells at us.
ET: "Hey...I need some scurity."
Me: "What?"
ET: "I need some scurity...I cain't find my rabbit...hep me find my rabbit"
At this point we both think the crack has finally destroyed whatever brain cells he had left, and we're going to have to call the little men in the white coats to come get him off the damn street.
Then from underneath one of the cars, hops a damn rabbit, white with brown spots. This man, the mayor of the village, the crack czar, has a rabbit. He has a rabbit. HE HAS A MOTHER FUCKING BUNNY RABBIT.
My partner and I both laughed until we cried. Then we spent the next 30 minutes chasing this damn rabbit all over the complex until the mayor finally caught him when he stopped running to eat on a bush.
We didn't ask why the mayor and his cabinet had a pet bunny. We didn't want to know.
User Reviews
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-03-07 14:54:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-03-07 14:50:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm an ass
===================
Yes you are.
Still holding a grudge or something?
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-03-06 12:53:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ET: "Hey...I need some scurity."
Go Skraight down this Skreet here and........
SCURITY! That was an auotmatic +2
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-03-06 11:11:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What the fuck, yo! I just checked your user info and you were here more than 2000 users before me and you only have like 8 posts!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-06 10:44:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-03-06 06:55:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
Imbecile. Rabbits make crack. In their tiny rabbity laboratories with four-legged labcoats and everything. WHEN WILL YOU LISTEN, WORLD??
hahahahhaa ha ...erm......where canI get one of these lab rabbits...........
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-03-06 10:35:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"i wanna pet the wabbits, george"
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-03-06 10:22:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck me. Who saw that coming?
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-03-06 06:55:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Imbecile. Rabbits make crack. In their tiny rabbity laboratories with four-legged labcoats and everything. WHEN WILL YOU LISTEN, WORLD??
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-03-06 06:39:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to have your babies.
And by that, I mean I'd like you to have some babies with a woman so I can come in your house and kidnap them while you sleep.
Submitted by Wallstreet (user info) at 2005-03-06 05:11:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
buds that are dank are danker then buds that are not dank
copy and paste
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-05 05:40:19 (#)
Ranking: -1
No man can be this drunk and still make that pic and still post.
Ywes I can you dumb asshole
no you are cool. Im sorry for calling you an asshole
Submitted by MrWillard (user info) at 2005-03-06 04:12:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Holy shit...sorry for the spelling. I was tired.
Submitted by Banga3386 (user info) at 2005-03-06 04:05:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
MOTHER FUCKING BUNNY RABBIT
I lost it on that one.
Banga