letters to god (769 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.89 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Clara (View user info) at 2005-03-06 17:11:31 EST
it's been this way as long as i can remember to one degree or another. the first sign was when i started writing letters to god. i stuffed the finished ones in crevices of trees, in cut-up sidewalks, in empty barns—the kind of places i thought god might be. somebody had to go look for him, and it was pretty clear that nobody else would buck up and take the job; it was mine by default, not by some kind of status as one of heaven's chosen. no angel appeared in blinding white and knocked me on my ass, there weren't any revelations in third period. i didn't start seeing the virgin mary in the patterns left in the ash tray, didn't go into a trance in the middle of a school concert while singing some inclusive politically correct "winter holiday" program. god didn't enlist me as a servant, a modern knight to come after him, which I guess if he could, would have made my entire endeavor pretty pointless; no need to go looking for a god that had gone looking for me.
it seemed pretty clear that he didn't show up to church much anymore, that the men in dresses who pretended to make things holy with sprinklings of water and smoke were the remnants of a dying age, priests of a dead god. that's why the songs all sounded like dirges, why the worshippers were joyless. i had a feeling that god was like a butterfly transforming at the speed of light into new forms, ever re-creating. i wanted to try to catch up, to find this moving god as he tumbled through history, one moment vengeful, inspiring men to run eachother through with lances in his name, and the next turning into a sphinx.
ultimately, letters wouldn't be enough. god was too far away to reach by post, but i'm getting ahead of myself.
i was 10 when i drafted my first letter to god. maria scagliarano had called me a 'godless communist.' (her reasoning still eludes me since i went to sunday school more often than she did and my familiarity with political theory was limited to the elephants and asses smiling like dopes on the "Our America" poster next to my desk.) i didn't think about what i was doing, just started moving my pencil nub over the paper until i had a fourth-grade facimille of luther's theses---except these were directed at the Big Guy himself instead of at some petty little priests.
i used my best penmanship and made sure not to smudge.
April 11, 1995
Dear God,
I am not a Godless Comunist. But maybe you are a People-less Comunist, because I think that if you were really at Church I would have seen you there at least once. None of us have seen you there. Not Mom, not Dad, nobody. And they've been going there even before I was born. (Maybe you'll say that you go to a different Church than me, but that still doesn't explain it because you are God and you can be infinity places at once.)
I know that if you were really there I would have known it 'cause I get the feeling that you'd be pretty hard to miss, even if you are too old to do miracles anymore. They keep telling this story about you being a shepherd going after the one lost sheep and maybe nobody ever thought that you could get lost too. People can be selfish sometimes. I know that because that's what Mom told me when Maria told me that I looked like a leprokan. I'm sorry, God, if people are being selfish and mean and you're lost and nobody's gone looking. I'll look for you. That's what friends are for.
Sincerely,
Miss Clara DeLeau
i signed my name as officially as possible and folded the paper into an increasingly smaller bundle. (back in those days the more important and secret a note was the smaller you had to fold it so that it could get across the classroom without being detected. i wanted god to know that his letter was being treated with the upmost confidentiality and respect.) after school i took the long way home and stuffed the letter into the crack of a particularly overbearing oak. the wood was smooth and wet on the inside---spring rain had softened it and pale moss had begun to blanket the crevice. i dragged my fingers along the wet smoothness on the way back out. my hand smelled green for days after.
User Reviews
Submitted by wookie (user info) at 2005-03-21 17:09:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Claire de Lune
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2005-03-07 12:18:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-07 11:03:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Absolutely wonderful post.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-07 09:04:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-06 23:52:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-03-06 19:52:45 (#)
Ranking: 1
" my hand smelled green for days after. "
__________________________________________
Wait, how the hell can you smell green?
Colors have scents?
____________
You utter, utter, fucking moron. You have no right to read anything at all ever again.""""
It's not his fault.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-03-07 01:51:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
See, I don't hate all Christians. This was beautiful.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-06 23:52:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-03-06 19:52:45 (#)
Ranking: 1
" my hand smelled green for days after. "
__________________________________________
Wait, how the hell can you smell green?
Colors have scents?
____________
You utter, utter, fucking moron. You have no right to read anything at all ever again.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-03-06 23:36:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
A damn good read.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-03-06 21:49:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really liked this. I love stories that put me in the head of another person. In this case, the head of a child.
Great story.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-03-06 19:52:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
" my hand smelled green for days after. "
__________________________________________
Wait, how the hell can you smell green?
Colors have scents?
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2005-03-06 19:48:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-06 19:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Loved it.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-03-06 18:34:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really like this.
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-03-06 18:20:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God's cool, wanna fuck?
Submitted by lordofthedance (user info) at 2005-03-06 18:17:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He's on AIM: GOD
After all...you can't expect people employees of the postal service to kill themselves everytime you want to send a letter to God. That's just stupid.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2005-03-06 18:17:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
my hand smelled green for days after.
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I can relate...oh, wait...nevermind
Submitted by Divinity (user info) at 2005-03-06 17:45:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God called me and told me to rape the bitch that kept sending him annoying letters.
Submitted by AlwaysAnEagle (user info) at 2005-03-06 17:33:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Excellent
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-06 17:28:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was amazing.