After the Pandemic: Unnatural Born Killers (1944 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: crap:fiction
Rating: 1.97 on 48 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Circe <fickle.muse.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-03-08 23:23:58 EST
(http://www.ubersite.com/m/61238 - original idea)
_______________
Desert sky and the taste of tequila and if she listened real hard she could hear him humming over the sound of the motor. She rolled her head to the side to look at him and grin.
"Broadway again?"
"Sweeney Todd."
"Brutal."
That was the entire conversation, but it went deeper than just the words. In that short exchange was "I know you" and "I know us" and "This is where we're meant to be."
Roaring across the desert hardpan in the Mustang, empty bottles in the backseat and their arsenal of mismatched weaponry on the floor by her feet, and the low sound of him humming about the Demon Barber. They'd killed last night, and they'd kill again tonight and the night after that, because they were born to do it; born to the blood and the screaming, born to the horror and fear and the tequila taste of madness shared, born to each other.
He drove with his whole focus on the road. He didn't need to look for their prey; if it was out there, she'd see it. She'd tell him. He was the driver and she was the spotter, and so it ever was, world without end, amen. He reached over and grabbed the tequila from between her long finely muscled thighs. His hand rested for a moment on the bare skin and he squeezed as she arched her back blatantly and stuck her tongue out at him. He swiped the bottle and drank, grinning to himself. They'd find the town of the dead they were seeking, and they'd kill, and they'd fuck afterwards amidst the stench of death and decay because that was as close to purity as they could get.
The sleepy, horny look faded from her eyes and was replaced by narrow focus. She straightened in the seat and looked out over the black desert, peering, searching. He waited.
"Over there. There's that crescent shaped hill Miguel told us about. Head that way; the town should be at the foot of it."
And he drove where she told him to drive. She was never wrong, and he had never failed to get them where she said they should go. If they'd found each other before the world ended, they would have been social outcasts, drunkards, frustrated by the needs they had but couldn't express, beaten down by a world that wouldn't let them hunt. But here, and now, when the prey was the enemy of humanity, they were bona fide fucking heroes.
They were too thrilled with themselves and each other to appreciate the irony.
He drove for the distant town like an arrow from a bow, with deadly intent and without hesitation. Walk into the vipers nest? Fuck yeah. DRIVE into the bitch at ninety miles an hour and she was loading the guns and she was all business now, pure killer, his huntress, and dear god how he wanted her.
She looked up at him and grinned, eyes shining, on fire with it. Her blood was up and he felt his heart racing in response, his blood pumping fast through his body, his skin and nerves alive with the instinct that made them different from the rest of the sheep.
He could see the dark houses now, getting closer, looming like a threat, promising redemption and sin and everything they needed. She threw him the shotgun and he caught it one handed while the car slewed to a stop, headlights shining through the cloud of dust kicked up by their tires. She leaned over and kissed him, hard and hungry, and she tasted of booze and cigarettes and lust and death. She tasted like heaven.
He grinned at her.
"Let's go."
The sound of the doors closing as they got out of the car was dull and heavy and very loud in the silence of the desert night. They met at the front of the car. He looked down at her and brushed her hair back with one hand - the hand not holding the shotgun. She shoved a handful of shells into his pocket while she kissed his palm.
They didn't speak as they walked the short distance to town. They were silent partly because they needed to listen for anything approaching, and partly because the only words they could say right now would come out as feral, hungry snarls. He wondered for minute if killing things while he had a hard on made him a psychopath, then realized - as he had a hundred times before - that he didn't much care.
The first pale, grey green shape that lurched out of the darkness at them was as silent as they were. He looked at it for a long moment, trying to work out the significance of the dark shape on its head. Was this a new super zombie? A new threat? Would this make it harder to -?
A sombrero. He laughed, a high raw animal sound, as he realized. This was fucking Mexico, and the zombies wore sombreros. The ridiculously out of place hat shredded apart as he took off the thing's face with a single well placed round. He looked at his huntress, his sweet assed killer with her perfect mouth, and gestured to the other side of the main street. She split away from him and ran, not crouched, not hiding. Unafraid and eager.
He turned his attention to the doorways lining the street and raised the shotgun as every single one gave obscene birth to a tattered grey shape. His hands fell into their familiar routine; aim, shoot, shoot, shoot, reload. Over and over as he blew apart rotting heads and sprayed the wooden walls of the deserted stores with dead flesh, again and again as he sent these Things to their rest, to their peace, to their hell.
He heard her shots echoing his. He didn't turn to check on her; to do so would be insulting. She was a better shot than he was, and the shrew might be the fiercest animal for its size but he was convinced she ran a close second. She wouldn't fall, and he wouldn't insult her by treating her as fragile.
The shells in his pocket were running low when he felt a cold hand on his neck. He swung around, his heart stuttering in his chest, and clubbed the female Zombie across the face with the butt of his gun. Shuddering with revulsion - she'd touched him, she'd touched him, and he hadn't seen it - he beat her to the ground and drove the gun into her face over and over until she was pulp and again until she was a greasy grey smear in the dust of the street and again and again and oh fuck she'd touched him and -
He heard a shotgun blast by his ear. He shook himself from his disgusted, violent trance state and turned to see his lover, shotgun over her shoulder, unsmiling.
"They're all gone. We cleaned 'em up."
He stood, shoulders aching. He looked at the unrecognizable lump on the ground and shook his head ruefully. He'd be paying for his exertion tomorrow.
He met her eyes and she gave him that feral, teeth bared smile. She ran her hands over her breasts and belly and hips... one hand pressing wantonly, invitingly, demandingly between her thighs.
:"Now. Here."
And he fell on her. And his teeth were in her and his hands were on her with that fucking insane hunger that never faded, never abated, and she was opening to him and clawing at his back and he was in her and she was his and he belonged to her and they fucked like animals in the dust, in the dark, in the town of the dead.
(Snark is gonna give you the second part of this.)
User Reviews
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-10-19 03:45:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
There are a solid four pages of +2 streaks with 30 or more reviews. That is stupid. I am weeding it all out by giving every one of them a +1; that way posts that have 1.99 with 200+ reviews gets best ever.
Submitted by notyou (user info) at 2005-07-07 18:36:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-06-26 06:07:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
more grinning....
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-05-12 17:43:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have just got done reading these all and I have enjoyed them all. Great work everyone, +2's for all!
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-15 09:57:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I take it you are off getting hitched?
Have a roll in the hay for me.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-03-12 11:56:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Here is my contribution - http://www.ubersite.com/m/61730
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-03-12 06:20:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good... I thought it was bonnie and clyde to start with because I couldn't be arsed to read the original thingy.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-03-11 12:25:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmm yummy
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:27:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
best of the lot, but this is still a stupid fucking idea.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-03-10 03:39:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my god.
This is fucking brilliant. I've enjoyed all of these so far but this???
Wow.
Submitted by TimeCop (user info) at 2005-03-10 01:30:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Is that an HR Geiger picture?
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2005-03-09 15:40:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by engine13 (user info) at 2005-03-09 12:53:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No offense, but leave it to Circe to bring a sex scene into this series. Fantastic.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-09 11:54:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-09 11:29:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow...fucking excellent.
*heart*
Submitted by jumpinjellyfish (user info) at 2005-03-09 11:26:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're an excellent writer...one of the few on here who could actually make a living at it.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-03-09 10:01:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You amaze me more and more every time I read something you write.
I have a red-headed Barbie with your name written all over it!!
You'll be missed and I will call you L. <HUGS>
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-03-09 09:20:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck me...
No, really. Fuck me.
Submitted by Coyote (user info) at 2005-03-09 04:21:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is stunning, in every sense.
I'm going to be self-indulgent and lay a song lyric on you,
just because:
Close the door and drift away
into a sea of uncertainty
where all your hopes and dreams
have faded out of reach.
Remember all the bad dreams
are not far from reality.
Would you write again for me?
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-03-09 02:25:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh hell... I guess it's time to jump on the bandwagon...
Submitted by Ainkara (user info) at 2005-03-09 02:19:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow. I'd write something for this, it's a kick ass idea... but my mojo is gone, so bah. Go Circe!
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-03-09 01:46:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61483
I've been here.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-09 01:42:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BigMike - where have you been? I missed you. And yeah, I know this is rough... I wrote it in 15 minutes with bloody Snark bitching "Are you done yet?"
And you know I'd write a story with you anytime.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-03-09 01:40:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Grammar. I can say that to you because you know how awesome I think you are.
Oh, and punctuation too.
This was beautiful. I wish I could get in on something like this.
Submitted by Id (user info) at 2005-03-09 01:30:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Ya know what?
I am drunk. And fuck you for creating such a masterful piece of fiction.
Now I have to come up with something for this tidal wave of a movement across the ubersite frontier.
Bravo to all of you....except for Adamusitu what the fuck is his name.....the take on it was......just A little too out there....
But anyway Circe....Bravo.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-09 01:24:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Y'know what, Jack? Fuck you and your Pandemic. It's 1:30 in the morning and I'm still reading Pandemic posts. Why dont' you just tie me down and shoot me full of heroin??
You've ruined my life, Jack. You and all these awesome writers have up and ruined my shit.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-09 01:16:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My god, buy you're fucking brilliant. You have a knack for spitting imagery and setting a tone that is absolutely PERFECT for the characters you're writing.
I want to make sweet love to you. Wearing a zombie sombrero.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-03-09 00:57:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
and i thought i lost my ability to hoist my flag because of all the gingko biloba. guess not!
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2005-03-09 00:10:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking amazing Circe. You make me hard!!
Submitted by whiskey_jack (user info) at 2005-03-09 00:07:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These Pandemic stories rock. But when you add sombreros to the mix...well now thats something special.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:59:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Great Story.
Wicked Pic.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:55:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:52:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't expect to see you here, glad you joined the party.
__________
Why not? In between all this shit posts, I've written some fiction...
Glad you liked the sombreros!
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:53:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to say, that sets a whole new bar for "badass".
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:52:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't expect to see you here, glad you joined the party.
And this cracked me up--
"This was fucking Mexico, and the zombies wore sombreros."
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:38:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Weeeeee!
It's a love - pick on - relationship!
You KNOW I've been waiting for the day you did that :)
I do it out of love, as a celebration of who you are.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:36:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/cgi-bin/message_get.cgi?message=1110342236258917026
And you are a fucking GODDESS.
Submitted by RideJohnnyRide (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:36:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture is going to give me nightmares, thanks.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:35:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck you, Snark. This is why you wanted me to write it? To pick on me? WANKER.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:34:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOHOO!
A Circe spelling mistake! Oh Jebus, I'll never let you live this down....
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:31:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shandy - gah. I hate it when I do that. I need to use spellcheck.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:30:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:28:47 (#)
Ranking: 0
despite your mental problems, i would root you
================================================
Is that a term for a kind or sex you've never had and can't quite describe?
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:30:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That picture is really creeping me out.
This was great as per usual. (Damn you.)
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:30:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
but just do one thing for me, stop using the word "gonna"
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:28:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
despite your mental problems, i would root you
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:28:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Creep - I am so tempted to say "It is."
Snark - Your move, bitch.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:26:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Funny... I thought this was going to be about your kids.
Submitted by creep_firebombing (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:25:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck yeah.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-03-08 23:25:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
<ejaculates>