I Hate Emo (28794 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicRating: 1.61 on 58 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Boogiefevuh is sexy (View user info) at 2005-03-09 03:08:10 EST
Yes, people have ranted about emo before, but this is MY rant. This is long overdue, but seeing "My Chemical Romance" poison Late Night With Conan Obrien is the straw that broke the camel's back. This time, it's personal.
I hate emo fags. I HATE YOU! Bunch of goddamn sorry excuses for men.
Crying is only acceptable in two different circumstances.
1: You just got hit in the jewels with a 9 iron
2: You just saw your best buddy get hit in the jewels with said club
NOT before/while/after cutting yourself ON PURPOSE!
There are only two acceptable reasons to ever cut yourself!!
1. You've accidentally swallowed a bomb/cobra/key, and need to get it out ASAP
2. You've recieved such a grievous motorcycling or axe-wound, that the doctor passed out on sight, and you had to perform surgery yourself!
Yes I've done these! Yes I'm a manly man!
Aww, some girl broke your heart?
Your parents yelled at you?
Some big guys were picking on you, then kicked sand in your face?
You stubbed your fricking toe!? Tough shit!
You know what works better than sitting at home and cutting yourself as you cry? ANYTHING! Get out there and do something, god damn it!
Toe still hurts? Slam your hand in the door, you won't feel it anymore.
Parents yelled at you? Yell at them! If that doesn't work, suckersmack one of 'em. That'll show them who's boss! Don't go write another fucking song about it!!!
Some big guys pick on you? Poor baby...maybe if you weren't such a pussy, you'd be able to knock their fucking teeth out! Not a fighter? Well if you weren't so girly, and took care of yourself so you werent a scrawny, skeletal pussywillow, people would mistake you for someone with a spine...already a step up from what you are now.
Some girl break your heart? Guess what!? The old mantra "nobody's been dumped but me" is really getting played out. Another fun fact? Hearts have been getting broken since the dawn of man! They didn't have Something Corporate or Thursday or My Chemical Romance to kiss the booboo away. They got out there and whooped some ass!!!
Or are you a 'lover, not a fighter?' Then get out there and get yourself laid! Sure, its normal to be sad after a major breakup. You know what's not normal? TO STILL BE AS DEPRESSED ABOUT IT YEARS LATER! Go mack it to some superfly honeys. Go find someone better. I don't care, find some new chick and fuck her on your ex's lawn! Or light her house on fire, if that's your thing. I don't care.
Nice glasses! You're making a mockery of the entire nerd culture, who've spent years making that look unpopular!! Jocks have taken away so much from them, and now you take this!? Make up your own styles!
And finally, the hair...the emo hair. The mussy, blocks your vision, "carefully contrived to make it look like I don't care about how my hair looks even though I spend hours spraying and fluffing it" emo hair. I HATE YOUR HAIR!!!
I WILL CUT YOU! I WILL MAKE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS CRY! I WILL KNOCK OUT YOUR PARENTS! I WILL KNOCK OUT YOUR EX! I WILL BREAK YOUR GLASSES, THEN GIVE YOU THE BROKEN SHARDS SO YOU CAN FINISH CUTTING YOURSELF!
I WILL CUT YOUR GUITAR STRINGS WITH A SHARPENED PANTERA CD (which will still work afterward BECAUSE PANTERA IS BAD ASS)
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH EMO!!!!!!!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by johnny.b.dumb (user info) at 2009-04-13 02:08:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I agree, Emo's are faggotry personified. Queers are fine if that's what you like, but crybabies make me heave. If you're not a toddler who's just been gobsmacked with a snow shovel, you have no business boo-hoo-ing, especially if you've just cut yourself on purpose TO MAKE YOURSELF FUCKING CRY. When I see the youth of your country turn into a lot of badly dressed sobbing faggots, it makes me grateful I live where I do. Oh, and to all of you EMO wannabes, no one can make you cry. You cry because you're a worthless cunt, fact made evident by the abuse handed out by others. It doesn't make you "sensitive", "spiritual", "unique" or anything else apart from a worthless cunt. Live with it.
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2009-04-12 17:53:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by lorri (user info) at 2009-04-12 17:40:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I like MCR n i am not n emo and dont always wear black
I DO NOT SLIT MY WRISTS.
People r very sterotypical of emos. I am friends with some n they r nice.
Although some are annoying
Just because people like different things doesnt mean u have to be nasty to them
Submitted by emo (user info) at 2008-07-02 10:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're all so fucking stupid! you all hate emo's for no reason whatsoever! you complain about them being depressed, yet don't seem to stop and think that maybe its PEOPLE LIKE YOU that are making them depressed!!!!
i've had to deal with people like you before, and trust me, you say that all us emo's are a load of weak pussy's, but i for one dont take no shite of anybody, so if you think your hard enough, get in contact with me, and i'll show you how i treat people that slag emo's
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2007-02-06 08:28:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
But I like thursday
That being said, I also like Converge, Darkest hour, Zombie Apocalypse, Ion Dissonance and Heavy Heavy Low Low
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2007-01-26 13:02:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
amazing
Submitted by sean_bean (user info) at 2007-01-26 12:58:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hell yeah man ! I might not be into rock but emo is just plain shiz. I wanna stamp on emos with studs on my boots i hate them so much ( and studs hurt if you've played football/soccer before )
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2006-12-28 17:40:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I put on Cowboys From Hell when I finished reading.
Submitted by Funkymonk (user info) at 2006-12-28 17:22:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
everything you put is so true!! i hate emos and love pantera! keep up the good work!
Submitted by Newty (user info) at 2006-12-24 14:57:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I laughed, even though I like My Chemical Romance
Submitted by dimebaghimself (user info) at 2006-12-24 12:58:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck those fucking emo faggots. i wish there was a disease that only infected emos. because they're sub humans.
Submitted by nativepride1800 (user info) at 2006-07-24 01:59:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This has got to be the greatest shit i have ever read! i fucking hate emo kids.
Submitted by Doctorgeorge90001 (user info) at 2005-08-24 15:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well said, especially the Pantera comment.
Submitted by sean_myung (user info) at 2005-07-06 18:06:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lmao you deserve a medal (pantera are the business!!!)
Submitted by thinkbulb (user info) at 2005-04-26 00:36:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I wonder how many kids are crying and cutting after reading this. My roomate is an emo, I should make him read it.
And then kick his ass.
Submitted by CoreaPeekay (user info) at 2005-04-26 00:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-03-09 03:48:56 (#)
Ranking: -2
Pantera hasn't made a good album since "Vulgar." Have you tried the heavier stuff like Thrice, Hopesfall, Underoath, These Arms Are Snakes, or Converge. They're all considered post-hadrcore emo and I bet you five bucks you would love all of them. Yeah, My Chemical Romance and The Used are for Chicks, but they need something to listen to...
----------------------------------------------
Those bands suck. Sorry.
\m/
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-04-26 00:07:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-04-19 18:04:18 (#)
Ranking: 1
"There are only two acceptable reasons to ever cut yourself!!
1. You've accidentally swallowed a bomb/cobra/key, and need to get it out ASAP
2. You've recieved such a grievous motorcycling or axe-wound, that the doctor passed out on sight, and you had to perform surgery yourself!"
3: suicide
------------------
Nope, suicide can only be manly by jumping off a tall building with a stick of dynamite between your teeth, as your friends made bets on which would kill you first.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2005-04-19 18:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
"There are only two acceptable reasons to ever cut yourself!!
1. You've accidentally swallowed a bomb/cobra/key, and need to get it out ASAP
2. You've recieved such a grievous motorcycling or axe-wound, that the doctor passed out on sight, and you had to perform surgery yourself!"
3: suicide
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-03-11 05:43:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
'1. You've accidentally swallowed a bomb/cobra/key, and need to get it out ASAP '
-------------------------
Ha ha ha... Awesome.
I have to admit though I kinda like the emo look, it only really works on girls though, and they do kinda just look like skater punk types with more hoover bands. I think most Emo kids in Britain are just copying a look they've seen in a magazine and aren't even really depressed to be honest.
The emo kids over here aren't so bad.
It's them goths that are the problem.
Submitted by BoogieFevuh (user info) at 2005-03-11 05:21:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by cheruboo (user info) at 2005-03-09 18:47:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
A little too much maddox wanna be in this post
----------------
Only maddox can rant abot shyt he hates LOLOLOLOL@BOOGIE
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2005-03-09 19:00:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-09 18:54:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for Pantera
Submitted by cheruboo (user info) at 2005-03-09 18:47:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
A little too much maddox wanna be in this post
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-03-09 18:19:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YES YES YES! I wholeheartedly agree. I have to be an ass and linkwhore, because It has everything to do with emo hatred. Check it out, I bet you'll think it's funny.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/51309
Submitted by getyourvoltronon (user info) at 2005-03-09 17:59:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Emo sucks. Vulgar Display of Power did it for me though.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2005-03-09 17:30:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I actually thought this was very stupid.
Submitted by CaptainAmik (user info) at 2005-03-09 12:21:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"Parents yelled at you? Yell at them! If that doesn't work, suckersmack one of 'em"
I just stopped reading after that, that was the kicker.
Submitted by lessthanfour (user info) at 2005-03-09 11:55:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read this past the part of My Chemical Romance. I'd just like to say that I like emo (much of it, anyway) and I, too, hate these fuckers. I saw them on Conan and wanted to weep. Not in a good way!
I assume the rest of your post is just the same tired bullshit about sitting in the dark and crying and black hair and glasses with thick rims.
Still, +2 for hating MCR.
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2005-03-09 11:53:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Emo is GHEY.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2005-03-09 11:42:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate emo kids
But I think the music is great
This was a good post though
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-09 11:37:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck all of you.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-03-09 11:34:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this was the best Emo hate post ever.
Nice work!
Submitted by Falconer (user info) at 2005-03-09 11:29:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man don't ever listen to any of Pantera's albums before Cowboys.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-09 11:19:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked it even better the second time!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-09 11:17:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
That there is some funny shit fella!
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-03-09 11:03:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
the fuckin picture says it all.
have another +2.
B@-fuckin-W.
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2005-03-09 11:00:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck emo.
im joining the army.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-09 10:56:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This fucking rules all over the place!
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2005-03-09 10:46:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2005-03-09 10:42:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Har har! Funny stuff.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-09 10:42:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
i don't mind 'em. i also didn't think MCR was emo.
oh well.
this was a +1 until the comment on Pantera's cd still working...good shit.
Submitted by KBCommando (user info) at 2005-03-09 10:10:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes. Yes. Yes. Let's all just enjoy the music here people. Music isn't here to create a wambulance following. That is so ghey.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-09 09:22:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Crazy kids with their crazy sadness-music. Why can't today's teenagers do drugs while listening to Nine Inch Nails, like the kids of my generation? Those were the days.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-03-09 08:42:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pantera is so bad ass they paid that guy on the album cover $50 to punch him in the face repeatedly. Unlike pussy bands, the actual band members of Pantera busted their knuckles on that guys grill. I think it was actually Dimebag's fist in that shot.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-09 07:29:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-09 06:00:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate it too.
That little whiny red bitch.
Tickle this, whore!
Oh, E M O!
---------------------------------
Hahahahahahaha me too. This caught me completely offguard.
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2005-03-09 06:23:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2005-03-09 03:57:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-09 03:25:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-03-09 03:17:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaaaha
Submitted by TheOnlyFactor (user info) at 2005-03-09 06:21:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
a thousand +2s. a thousand. just for the pantera alone. another thousand for the over all ass kickery of this post. fuck emo
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-03-09 06:21:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
''1. You've accidentally swallowed a bomb/cobra/key, and need to get it out ASAP ''
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHA
HA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
That is all.
Oh, and you rock!
-Hobbs
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2005-03-09 06:08:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This was really hilarious. Well done.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-09 06:00:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate it too.
That little whiny red bitch.
Tickle this, whore!
Oh, E M O!
Submitted by PokerIsMyLife (user info) at 2005-03-09 05:48:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You hurt my feelings you fag! Now pass the fucking tissues!
Submitted by Kristen (user info) at 2005-03-09 03:57:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-09 03:25:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-03-09 03:17:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaaaha
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-03-09 03:49:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2005-03-09 03:48:56 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Pantera hasn't made a good album since "Vulgar." Have you tried the heavier stuff like Thrice, Hopesfall, Underoath, These Arms Are Snakes, or Converge. They're all considered post-hadrcore emo and I bet you five bucks you would love all of them. Yeah, My Chemical Romance and The Used are for Chicks, but they need something to listen to...
Submitted by Jo_of_the_golden_P (user info) at 2005-03-09 03:40:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It was a one point five, then I read the last line. Pantera eats the balls of emo kids.
Submitted by Umbilical_Cord (user info) at 2005-03-09 03:25:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate people with feelings.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-09 03:25:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-03-09 03:17:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaaaha
Submitted by Death_Metal_Dude (user info) at 2005-03-09 03:17:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaaaha