Nearly a bar fight 3 - Trying to break up a fight and the oh so cliche barstool (732 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Walrus_King <jamespeddle.at.hotmail.com> (View user info) at 2005-03-09 09:37:04 EST
A side note; every morning I give my dad a lift to work. I only work 3 miles from where I live and he works one mile, plus it's on the way. Now driving the same route everyday you would expect me to know my route, yet the other day I actually took a wrong turn and came back on myself, why I will never know. Trying to make up for a little bit of lost turn I sped up to about 45Mph to which my Dad states,
"You know driving 45 in a 30 won't get you there any quicker," I responded
"Well as we know the speed is equal to the distance divided by the time and distance is equal to the speed multiplied by the time then we can derive from these facts that the time is equal to the distance divided by the speed. So technically yes it will get us there faster."
"Shut up smartarse and drive"
Anway..........
Now I like a drink, probably a little more than the next guy but I do like a drink. I particularly like going out on the town (albeit a shit town) for a few drinks. Despite what my last camwhore may suggest I'm not an escaped physco and I don't go out get drunk and start fights. I'm actually quite a placid person.
Like most of us after I've had a few to drink I think that I could take on a room full of ninjas.... Blindfolded... with nothing but my car keys for defence (props to thecaes for the line) if I need to, and only if I need to, in the past I have got into a couple of scrapes as all teenagers do, each and everyone has been in the defence of someone else, oh sorry I can think of a couple of times that have been my own doing.
Getting thrown out of the pub.
I was once banned from one of my local pubs for getting into a fight, the truth of the matter was that I wasn't fighting.... Okay, sure I was fighting when the landlord looked over but I only started by going to break up a fight.
We had gone down to the pub, a few of my friends are metalers and they had there was some band or another playing at one of the locals so the music in the background of this tale was fucking loud. I was sitting quite happily drinking a couple of scotches and coke when I looked over and noticed that one of my friends (more of an acquaintance) was having a row with a bloke we both knew and had a bit of a grudge against. To be fair this probably to sway my actions. I walked over to see what was going on.
'Bean, are you alright' obviously I was invading his attackers personal space because he all of a sudden started screaming at me.
'Get away from me, get the fuck away from me', ok so the bloke knew me and from a previous altercation knew that if he pissed me off I would take to school...... again. He started looking a bit nervous and turning to my other friends who had all come over to have a good look,
'get him away from me' Now I honestly didn't see the problem, ok I was very drunk I was just trying to make sure that my mate was alright, perhaps I came over a little threatening.
'Look Shaun, I'm not here to fight, calm down. I'm just checking that my friend is alright, let's just go back to our table and you go back to yours and we'll leave it at that.'
'fine' he said, I turned around to walk off but no-one seemed to follow. I turned around again and shaun had just bashed my mates head against a big wooden beam.
At this point as you could imagine I was furious, I stormed over into the middle of the ruckus that had just formed and just as I was bout to lay a beating on the little cunt one of his mates hit me round the back of the head with a bar stool. (A little cliché? yeah I thought so too) I punched the bloke that hit me with the stool and just as I was going for Shaun the fucking landlord pulled me out.
Then he threw us all out into the street. I was still going to get the fucker but all of my mates said it wasn't worth it, bean wasn't hurt, in fact he thought the whole thing was hilarious.
So we fucked off to another pub instead....
User Reviews
Submitted by Walrus_King (user info) at 2005-03-11 09:12:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah I've been hit over the head with much worse things... The bar stool didn't break or anything like they do in TV, it just really fucking hurt, there was so much I had to add to this story. Like the fact that my girlfriend at the time was waiting for me at another pub with another group of friends because I said that I was only popping out for a pint, 3 and a half hours later and I got to the pub shit faced to find that she had already gone to my house.
When I got there she started having a go at me before realising that I was a little beaten up, and started to take care of me.
or how before all of this kicked off I got pushed into a mosh pit and got jumped on by several people and not really being that way inclined showed my distaste by fighting my way out.
I was going to include that fantastic conversation with the landlord about how I was trying to stop a fight.
And the conversation with my girlfriend where I convinced her that I was woozy and disorientated because of the stool (which caused a fucking huge lump on my head) and not becasue of the drinking.
Your right, I rushed it and missed out some of the best moments. sorry :-(
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-10 07:41:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You got hit in the head with a barstool and didn't go down like an altar boy? Who hit you, a friggin' three year old?
Good little story, but you wrote it kind of fast. Not enough detail or observation given to the action, and the grammar/writing was a little sloppy.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-09 10:27:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You should linkwhore the first two, they were better.