Dammit! The Vice President of Pepsi ratted me out. (717 hits)
Category: Business & FinancialRating: 2 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by tech-junkie (View user info) at 2005-03-09 19:34:16 EST
Pepsi good. Coke bad.
That's all I've heard since as long as I can remember. Since I was just a tottling trout, I've watched my dad don his Pepsi shirt and go to work to what seemed like a very rewarding career. As of now, he has 19 years of service with the company. His salary has quintupled since he's started, and he is now an executive in his plush office and company car. He's a happy man who has lived the American Dream.
Me? His son? His seed? His pride and joy? I'm 22 years old and have been through 9 different jobs since I started working at 16. All those jobs were retail, and all those jobs were loathed and despised by me. I wanted to be like my beloved old man and work for a company that actually had career prospects (i.e. Pepsi), but there's a little thing called nepotism laws that prevents such things. Someone out there actually thinks that my dad would should show favoritism for me. Psh! However, all that changed for me recently.
In the great North Carolina city of Winston-Salem, there are two major Pepsi facilities. One is a Pepsi Bottling Plant that makes the product. The other facility is the Pepsi CSC (Customer Service Center). Recently, there was a massive franchise war within Pepsi, and the Bottling Plant merged with a company called Pepsi Bottling Ventures (PBV). The CSC went to to Pepsi Bottling Group (PBG). During this debacle (thanks for the correction, Zoidberg, despite the -2), my dad came to work under PBV and was transferred to their corporate office in Raleigh.
I know, PBG/PBV. What's the difference?! A lot, actually. They're two completely different companies that simply manufacture and distribute the same Pepsi products, but a lesson in corporate layout is not the purpose of this post.
With my dad working at PBV, I knew that working at the CSC was now an option. Over Christmas, the company made an announcement that they were now hiring for Customer Sales Reps. With the half decade I've spent working retail and sucking up to customers, at the expense of my own self-esteem, I damn-well better be qualified to fit the position! I submitted my resume, went through the grueling interview and selection process, and was ultimately offered a position, and not once did I ever mention that my old man was a highly influential (and highly compensated) executive for PBV. It was a secret that I was determined to keep, since gossip runs rampant in the workplace. I got this job on my own merits, and no one should ever think I cheated my way through.
Today was my third day of classroom trainroom for my new job with Pepsi. I'm enjoying my co-workers and am beginning to see why Pepsi is such a good company. Not to mention, no one has discovered my little paternal secret. This afternoon, the Vice President of the sales division for Pepsi came in to give us a careers peptalk. All is going well at first. He seemed like a really nice guy, until we had to give our introductions.
Me: My name is Adam Karapetian. Prior to this job, I wa.....
VP: Stop. Karapetian? You're not related to Arnold Karapetian, are you?
(All 16 of my co-workers' eyes become fixated on me)
Me: Yes... that's my dad.
VP: Well I'll be! Your dad and I go way back...
(I sink down into my chair)
VP: He trained me back when I started working at the plant! He and I both coordinated the franchise split between PBG and PBV! He's now Vice President of Operations and Supply Chain, now. Right?
(What the fuck?! Shut up! OK, I'll try to end this conversation right now, salvaging whatever sense of decency my co-workers think I have)
Me: Uh... yeah. But, I hardly ever see him anymore. He always works out of Raleigh.
VP: Raleigh? Well he must come home on the weekends because I saw him in church on Sunday. I haven't seen you there lately, though.
(?!?!?! HE GOES TO MY CHURCH ?!?!?!)
VP: That reminds me. I need to call your sister to come babysit my daughters this weekend.
(I feel like crying. I've never met this guy before in my life, yet it was like he was out to ruin this excellent opportunity.)
My dad never mentioned that this guy was an old buddy of his. Now the whole world knew (wrongly) that despite my excellent merits and experience in customer service, my dad pulled some strings and got me hired.
Well, my fellow trainees had a goodhearted laugh with this going on. I let myself relax. Maybe they would forget about it.
Thirty minutes later, another speaker was talking to us about our training. I asked a simple question about what our quotas would be in training. A trainee in front of me spurted out, in good fun (at least for him):
Asshat: Well for you, there won't be any quotas. You got hired by the VP!
The Speaker: The VP? What?
Asshat: Yeah! The VP and his dad are buddies. VP hired him. Not Human Resources.
Me (in good spirits): Hey... that's funny, but I went through the same meat grinder you did.
Asshat: But your's had no blades!!
(Everyone laughs.)
I feel like shit. My secret had been so well kept. I was making good friends. I was making good progress, on my own merits. Now, all that had changed. I'm the snotty executive's son that everyone hates.
Well, I better not do anything to accentuate that reputation. I'll just lie low and hope this whole thing blows over.
Fuck my unique last name!
User Reviews
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-04-04 04:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yes, wow they are sickos.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-10 16:13:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Who cares what your co-workers think about how you got your job?
I'm going to let you in on a little secret: When you work in the corporate world, all your co-workers hate you for one reason or another. Yes, even the ones you think are your friends.
Just think about it. Can you name one co-worker that you sincerely like? Someone that you would choose to be friends with if you didn't know them through work? Didn't think so.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2005-03-10 08:33:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's true: Shlongy is correct. Be afraid, be very afraid.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-10 08:28:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Schlongy's right.
Seriously, fuckem.
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-03-09 22:17:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Best advice: flip out whenever someone mentions your dad.
Submitted by FunnyAsCancer (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:58:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2005-03-09 19:41:28 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and if anyone has any advice on how I can be vindicated of this precarious position, please let me know.
~~~
Asshat: "Oh, come on, we all know you only got the job because your dad pulled a few strings."
You: "Really, is that what happened? I thought I got this job by working my butt off. But you may be right. And since you were such a smart-ass about it, maybe I should pull a few strings and get your position in the company terminated."
Asshat: *Reaction of either fear, defense, or anger*
You: "Nah, I'm just fuckin' with you. C'mon, I'll buy you a beer."
Show 'em you're the common man, just like the rest of 'em. Which you are. Nothing says you're an ordinary dude like beer. Executives drink vodka and rum and shit.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:35:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by YELLOW-MAN (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:19:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
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Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-09 19:51:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-03-09 19:38:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
My ex-girlfriend was Armenian too. Her bitch-ass parents made us break up because I'm white.
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You should have said you were Azeri. I hear those two peoples love eachother.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-09 19:44:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
First of all...fuck them. Nepotism is the American way.
Secondly, you're young so here's the best advice you'll ever hear.
Step directly on the nuts or heads of everyone hired at the same time that you were. It's a dog-eat-dpg world and no matter how "friendly" these co-workers are, there will be jealousy, backstabbing, bitching, moaning, cheating as you make your way up the corporate latter.
Thirdly, Pepsi blows. Coke rules.
Good luck!
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2005-03-09 19:41:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and if anyone has any advice on how I can be vindicated of this precarious position, please let me know.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-03-09 19:38:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My ex-girlfriend was Armenian too. Her bitch-ass parents made us break up because I'm white.