A Basic Movie (811 hits)
Category: Movies & TVRating: 0.57 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JWLMAR10 (View user info) at 2003-04-07 00:44:25 EDT
Some movies are good, some are bad, and some are just fucking annoying. The movie "Basic," starring John Travolta is a perfect example of this last category. Ok, I liked some parts of this movie and it wasn't all that bad, but I can't remember why because the good was completely overshadowed by the crap.
First of all, John Travolta is a tool. He has performed well in some movies, or so i'm told, but I still hate this man. In "Basic" he plays a dumbass ex-Army Ranger turned alcoholic DEA investigator. The whole movie he struts around acting like a total asshole. He uses the same old "unconventional" techniques that all dumbass cops use in all dumbass movies. This involves questioning people by drinking coffee with them and laying out on the table to discuss baseball with the person being questioned. This sucks. While I was attempting to watch this movie all I could think about was how much I wanted to punch John Travolta in his stupid face. Then whenever the ambitious, young, pretty, conventional, and stern army lady asks him a question he answers by making two clicks with the side of his mouth. This is not witty and it is not funny. If I asked John Travolta a question and he answered me by clicking his mouth, I would decapitate him with a rusty screwdriver. Damn he sucks.
I bet you're wondering why I am talking about this movie without first summarizing the plot. Here's why: the plot is nonexistant. For a while I thought there was a plot, but by the end it felt as if the director had taken the plot, wiped his ass with it, and threw it in my face. I was pissed. By about the 12th major "plot" twist, I just didn't care anymore. There should be a limit on plot twists. Maybe at 3 per movie. I swear this movie had at least 94 MAJOR plot twists. By the end I just didnt care what had actually been going on.There were so many twists that people were getting dizzy and throwing up around me... and I don't blame them.
Then there was this totally annoying dude sitting in front of me. The kind of person that laughs out loud in the theater at something that isn't funny. This guy would constantly tell some stupid joke to his ugly girlfriend loud as hell and then laugh at his own joke. Has anyone seen the commercial before the previews of movies for movietickets.com with the three retarded guys? Well, yea, he laughed at that. Sad... I wish that I would have taken out my anger on this dude, because he deserved it almost as much as John Travolta. Damn I hate assholes like that.
User Reviews
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-04-10 23:21:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did you even bother to read this post hendrix? I can just see you now. "What the hell? Someone is putting a link to another post? Fuck that, here's a -2 for making me look at this link." (Violent masturbation ensues).
Submitted by hendrixjrr (user info) at 2003-04-10 21:59:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 for plugging this on another thread
Submitted by Otter (user info) at 2003-04-10 05:10:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I have not seen this movie, it was one of those I was going to wait till it came to the dollar theater. I saw a preview for this movie when I went to see what had to have been one of the most dissapointing movies I've seen in a long time: Tears of the Sun.
I like Bruce Willis. I think he does some great action films. His acting is not the greatest, but he does do a lot of entertaing stuff. I loved the Die Hard series and Fifth Element is a movie I can't get enough of (OK that's mainly because you get to see Miulla Jovovowhosits naked boobs, but that's for a different post), but TotS bored me so much, I actually fell asleep.
The critics hailed this a "Bruce Willis' best movie since Die Hard." I sure as hell would not have made that statement.
It's about two hours and fifteen minutes long and the last fifteen minutes is the only part that would make for a good war picture. Only thing is that a squad of SEALs would not have gotten their asses kicked as easily. It was way too much thinking and emotion and talking and personal conflict. I'd wait till it came out on video if you really want to see it.
In typical Hollywood fashion, all the good shots were shown during the trailer for the movie, and it sets it up as a great war movie, but the actual movie was boring as piss.
Submitted by dasteve (user info) at 2003-04-10 04:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pimpbuster makes a very good point. Broken Arrow was typical Hollywood bullshit, so I'll let that one slide, but Battlefield Earth was worst fucking movie ever and I think Travolta produced it as well. You have to be fucking retarded to read that script and agree to produce it.
Submitted by Istaros <archon_templar.at.hotmail.com> at 2003-04-10 02:58:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
pimpbuster, are you suggesting that people not watch Pulp Fiction?
Anyway, I have not seen this film either. My clue that it was horrible, though, was from the previews, where every line from the announcer's voice was "convoluted... one twist right after another... will keep you guessing right til the very end... more curves than a hot 23 year old redhead... etc." That's stupid. I can tell just from that the plot would have practically no coherence. I've seen quite a few movies in my time, and every one I've seen that had "one twist after another" was too full of twists to connect the film's beginning to its end.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-04-10 00:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Amen pimpbuster. Couldn't have said it better myself.
Submitted by pimpbuster (user info) at 2003-04-09 09:42:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't seen the movie, but I can assure you that it sucks. Why? John Travolta licks balls. I know movies are in trouble (as if they weren't already) when I saw a preview for this movie saying "this picture shows why John Travolta is one of the greatest actors of our time". Barf! Best actor of our time? Explain Broken Arrow, Battlefield Earth, and the host of other trainwrecks he's responsible for. I can't look at him trying to play hardcore Billy Badass without anticipating him starting to dance and sing about "baby, I'm so tough and badass!" Holy shit this movie sucks, because if JT is in it, you're in for lousy overacting, poor script, and JT's big teeth and receeding hairline. He should go to hell. Now. Don't see this movie, or any others with him in it.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-04-08 19:39:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This movie review is needed more than ever.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2003-04-07 01:25:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
he is na excellent actor. i liked him in pulp fiction too. samuel l jackson not john.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-04-07 01:16:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yea. I did like Samuel L. Jackson in this movie. He was a supreme hardass. Then he died, but you learn at the end that he was alive the whole time. When he walks out at the end with a big grin on his face, holding a bottle of beer, I realized beyond a doubt that I hated this movie. He should have just died the violent death of a hardass, but instead more crap.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2003-04-07 01:03:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i forget to rate it. sorry.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2003-04-07 01:02:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i found this post very amusing. thank you for the warning.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-04-07 00:48:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Has anyone else even seen this movie? If so, please tell me if you agree.
Submitted by jwlmar10 (user info) at 2003-04-07 00:46:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This post rocks! Who cares if I wrote it?