Yet Another Man Cuts Off His Penis. This One EATS IT! (1159 hits)
Category: NewsRating: 0.16 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Photogenic Mammory (View user info) at 2005-03-09 19:48:07 EST
Yet Another Man Cuts Off His Penis. This One EATS IT!
News Edition: 03/09/2005
Philippines-- A 40-year-old man is recovering in hospital in The Philippines after cutting off his penis and eating it.
Asked about Ernesto Almonte's mental state, a hospital spokesman said: "If you cut your sex organ and then eat it, then something is wrong with you."
The incident is not the first time a man has severed his own penis and devoured it.
In 2003 a Malaysian man cut off his penis and fried it up before making a meal of it.
The man heard 'voices', probably caused by taking hallucinatory drugs, which urged him to mutilate himself.
Courtesy of: http://news.com.au
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Folks, if the voices in your head tell you to cut off and devour your own penis there is pretty much only one thing you should do... If you're female and they are telling you this, you can say with some certainty that they are full of shit. If, however, you find yourself the proud owner of your very own penis and the voices just insist on you cutting it off and eating it, for god sakes don't FRY the fucking thing!
Grill and serve with a nice Merlot. Trust me. You'll thank me later.
User Reviews
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2005-12-30 03:39:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for dicks!
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:06:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
....Asked about Ernesto Almonte's mental state, a hospital spokesman said: "If you cut your sex organ and then eat it, then something is wrong with you.".....
That's a +2 right there. What's wrong with you people?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:03:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
yummy
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-10 02:05:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61506#1195235
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2005-03-10 01:31:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
if only your dad had done the same before he could conceive you
Submitted by Perzik (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:29:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Has the world gone to hell, or is all that we now think of sexual or grotesque?
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:07:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Great. Now I'm twice as bothered by memories of this...
(scroll down for photo... http://www.ubersite.com/m/44012)
Submitted by ETS (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:00:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd say a nice assortment of mixed grill-steamed vegetables atop a savory white rice doused with the 'special sauce'.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:47:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Picking the right vegetable to go with this delicacy could be tricky.
Submitted by Degreeless_Capibara (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:40:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mrs. Dash gets a nice treat today.
Submitted by ETS (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:31:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I wonder if oregano might not give it just the kick it needs...
*ponders*
Maybe I should have tried that...
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:28:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I hope he used a high quality seasoning.
Submitted by ETS (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:25:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess we gotta give the guy SOME credit. He at least had the presence of mind to cook the fucking thing. HE could have just eaten it raw like a proper madman. Can you imagine all the germs and potential for food poisoning that might exist in an uncooked penis!?!?
That's just gross.
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:21:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Heavens Demorgatroid what would possess a man?
Submitted by ETS (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:20:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You are ABSOLUTELY right! Get rid of the penis - leaving the voices that told you to cut it off and eat it COMPLETELY in charge... That's so simple, it just might work!
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:18:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No. I think it's a good idea. Then your decisions are not made on what your penis says you should do.
Cut it off.
Submitted by ETS (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:17:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Howie: I think it's importance would be pretty self-evident if ever you wanted to know how to properly prepare a penis for gestation.
Submitted by Howie_Felter (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:15:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
why is this important here?
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:11:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Asians can do that in one bite.
Submitted by ETS (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:11:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
come on Joe! You know you'd eat penis! Don't fucking lie!
Submitted by Joemama (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:07:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No pee-pees!
No talk about pee-pees!
No severed pee-pees!
NO PEE-PEE RECIPES!!!!!!!
Damn...........
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-09 20:02:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Christ all fucking mighty.
Submitted by Thirty_Four_Eggs (user info) at 2005-03-09 19:56:42 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No