After the Pandemic: The Enemy of My Enemy (part 2 of 2 ) (1806 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 1.94 on 61 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by TheCaes (View user info) at 2005-03-09 20:50:33 EST
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61238 -- Introduction -- the post that inspired it all
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61505 -- Part 1
*******************************************************
The juicehounds walked up to the altar stairs, casual as a mid-day stroll, forming a V with their unwilling dinner. Brianna kept her knife back and low, ready to slash up at the first one to come close enough. Hopefully, she'd be able to sever the femoral artery or cut the hamstrings. They might not die, but it would give her enough time to get away.
She thought about her mother, and of Tyler, one last time. And then there was no more time for thought. Only action.
Brianna waited until they were close, until they could almost touch her. The hunched one was giggling quietly to himself, his vocals ably backed by the symphony of jangling metal on his face. The cowboy was approaching her with the same respect he would give an infant holding a plastic spoon.
His cockiness was the opening she needed. She couldn't beat their speed. She would have to be sneaky.
She lunged at Tuck, stabbing out towards his groin. He began to react before Brianna even registered that he was moving. But Tuck wasn't her target. He took the bait and snatched at her feint, but she had already arced the knife towards Pins.
He ogled the oncoming blade stupidly and had about enough time to blink before Brianna plunged the steel into his face. She had been aiming for his neck, but his bobbing head unintentionally made him a moving target. Instead, Brianna's knife bit into Pins' cheek, then glanced off and bisected his left eye.
At least I kind of kept my promise, Brianna thought.
Pins screamed out and turned his back to her, clutching his maimed face. Three of his piercings had been torn out with the strike. Brianna pulled the knife back to slice at his spine. If she could sever the spinal column - -
She winced as a cold hand clamped around her wrist. "Bitch!" Tuck hissed through his yellow teeth.
Brianna felt her shoulder jolt as the leech yanked her off the ground and flung her against the wall. Her head bounced off the concrete and she sagged to the ground like a puppet with its strings cut. Her head swam with stars and blackness. Dimly, she heard her knife thud against the carpet floor and bounce down the stairs, a small sound that meant the end of everything for her.
"You okay, Pins?" She knew that voice. Where had she heard it before? It sounded familiar, but for some reason it wasn't as creamy as she thought it should be. She looked around for the speaker, but her vision was blurry and faded in and out.
"Suck her dry!" Someone else shrieked. "I'm gonna pull her eye out and fuck 'er in the socket!"
Brianna tried to stand up, but her legs wouldn't move. She tried to sit up, but her arms refused to support her weight.
Then somehow, she was off the ground, her boots dangling two feet off the floor. There was a tightness around her neck and something foul in the air.
"You hear that, sweetness? You made ol' Pins angry." Tuck's breath smelled like stale blood and rancid beer. In a few moments her vision was re-aligned and the tar that was drowning her brain melted away. It was better than smelling salts.
Tuck put his thumb on one side of Brianna's jaw, and turned her head to expose her neck. The neck that Tyler's head fit so comfortably in. She tried to fight him, but her arms still didn't work right, and the cowboy's strength made her feel like she was trying to overpower a statue.
"Pleasure t'meet you, pretty-girl. Maybe when Pins is done with you, I'll juice you back and we can have some more fun. Though you may not be so pretty by then," he added thoughtfully. He opened his jaws and moved in.
"STOP." A voice boomed out of the darkness.
"Tuck!" Pins cried out, pointing down the aisle.
Tuck dropped Brianna to the ground. "Who the hell are you?"
Brianna followed the path of his gaze until her eyes met the object of the cowboy's distraction. It was a man, covered in a black cloak. He was tall, and looked of East Indian descent. His shirt and pants were the same thick black, and an azure blue gem rested on his olive-brown chest. He had raven hair that fell to his shoulders, slightly curling at the ends. His beard followed the path of his jaw strictly and perfectly, and was so well-kept it seemed professionally sculpted just for him. Handsome by any definition, his nose hooked down slightly, like a hawk's beak. Thick, dark eyebrows sloped sternly above his eyes, giving him the expression of a predator. He looked fairly young, but for a smattering of gray on the chin of his beard and at his temples. Though she had not seen him move or speak, Brianna detected a very regal air about him.
The dark man did not answer. He only examined the juicehounds with the expression of a man who had just tasted something unpleasant.
Pins looked at Tuck with his one good eye, covering the ruined one with his hand as if he were trying to read an optometrist's chart. Tuck returned his baffled look in kind. They assessed him carefully.
"You're like us." Tuck said. "Bloodsucker. Supers. What's your name?"
The man's lips curled back into a sneer, opening a white seam of teeth across his dark countenance. Clearly visible, a pair of powerful incisors confirmed Tuck was correct. But Brianna looked at the juicehounds, with their nervous tics, pallid, blue-veined skin and threadbare clothes and thought this man was nothing like them.
The dark man looked at each of them, swished something around in his mouth, and spat on the floor.
"I asked you a question." Tuck prodded.
The man was silent for a moment. When he spoke, his voice filled the emptiness of the church like a baritone ocean. "I am Khalid Ibn al-Abbas as-Saffah. And you are nothing."
Pins giggled a little. "Ibbin al-saffuh? What the hell is that supposedta mean?" He and Tuck chuckled snidely.
"Shedder of blood." The man's rumbling voice echoed ominously in the chamber. The snide chuckling vanished.
The juicehounds looked back at each other, then back to the stranger. "Friend or foe, partner?"
"You will give the woman to me. If you do not wish to meet a painful end, you shall do it quickly." His voice was clearly that of a man who was accustomed to being obeyed.
Tuck scoffed, maybe a little too loudly. "Oh, come on, man. Don't get all Dracula. You want a piece, you can have what's left of 'er when we're done. Finders keepers. You're one of us, you know how it works."
Brianna saw the man step forward slightly. She saw that the inside of his cloak was a deep purple. "Entabeh, pretender. I belong as one of you no more than an Arabian stallion belongs with braying asses. Relinquish the woman, or suffer."
"Aw, fuck you, towel-head," Pins shot back. "There's two've us and one of you, and I'm in a shit fucking mood. You want a piece?" Pins snatched up Brianna's hunting knife, glistening with blood and eye-jelly. "Come get 'er. Right, Tuck?"
"Dead right, Pins. C'mon, asshole. Declare your fuckin' jihad. You're gonna get an American ass-kicking."
An eager smile flashed upon the stranger's face. "Inshaalha then, you dogs." Khalid held out his arms, palms to the ceiling. There was a 'whoosh' sound, and all the church candles came alight.
That's a neat trick, Brianna thought. She had never seen a leech do anything like that before.
Tuck and Pins looked around nervously in the soft, flickering lights. "Well, abra-ca-fuckin'-dabra." The cowboy muttered. "Take 'im!"
Pins charged at the Arab faster than an Olympic sprinter and slashed at his throat. Khalid stepped neatly to the side, as a parent would step around a rampaging toddler. A sharp 'crack' echoed through the chamber, and Pins was suddenly an undead projectile. He sailed over the pews and bounced off a thick stone pillar.
Tuck pounced off the altar steps, leaping thirteen feet in the air to drop on the stranger from above. Khalid raised his hand the way police officers used to do when halting traffic. To Tuck's utter surprise, he indeed halted. Ten feet from the floor, in mid air.
"How -- ?" He asked softly, hovering.
Khalid pointed abruptly to the ground. Suddenly Tuck's floating body was subjected to many times the force of gravity. He slammed into the floor as if he had been shot point-blank from a cannon.
Brianna heard a giggling shriek as Pins launched himself once more at the Arab. He barreled towards him on all fours, tearing up the carpet in his wake. Khalid this time treated him like a soccer ball, kicking Pins square in his decorated face. His head tore from his shoulders and bounced wetly off the ceiling. It fell and rolled along the ground to where Brianna was still laying, jingling all the while like a grotesque Christmas tree ornament.
Khalid turned away from Pins' body before his head had even landed. At his feet, the cowboy was groaning. Khalid reached down and hoisted the juicehound up by his throat.
"Taa'la hena. You and I must have a conversation." He said with a deadly tone.
"I am Khalid Ibn as-Saffah, son of the first Caliph of the Abbasid dynasty." He punched Tuck savagely in the side. Brianna heard his ribs splinter and break as he cried out.
"I am a Prince of Baghdad. You are a mangy cur." Khalid drove Tuck's face into the benches. They shattered like dried kindling.
"Stop - stop -" he pleaded.
"My family ruled Baghdad for five hundred years. I have lived for over fifteen centuries." Again, Tuck's face obliterated a bench with battering-ram force.
"I am whampyre, the unliving, unending. You are a genetic aberration." He pulled Tuck's savaged face close to his, and bore into his eyes with a poisoned stare. "You are the pretenders, the children of bacteria, disgraceful and foolish. You are dogs, shitting everywhere."
The Arab wiped his finger across the cowboy's shattered face. It came away streaked with blood. He held it up for Tuck's inspection. "Your blood is poisoned and foul. Not fit for even your own consumption." Khalid sniffed at the leech's blood on his finger, and gagged.
He spat in disgust, and whipped Tuck against the stone altar, splitting it nearly in two with the impact. Brianna heard the cracking noise, but could not tell if it was the altar or Tuck's spine.
Khalid Ibn as-Saffah grabbed a handful of Tuck's hair and casually dragged him up the steps, towards Brianna. "It is bad enough that I had to come to this land of heathens and Christians," he said as he walked. "But to awaken after long years of sleep, only to find my kind gone to ground, and replaced by such as you!"
He lifted the leech to his feet and once again clasped his neck.
"Like a child given too much power, you squander and you soil that which you require." He gestured to Brianna, who was watching intently. Even if she was well enough to run, she was mesmerized. "Your kind exercises no restraint, nor sense. Would you suck the world dry, until there is naught left to sustain you but your own foolishness? Pfah!
"The Americans are a boorish, arrogant lot. But they named you aptly. A leech you are, and as a leech shall you die. You will boil in the heat of my anger."
Khalid placed his hand on Tuck's forehead. Where a moment ago he was so limp Brianna had thought he had died, he came to shrieking life, screaming and grabbing and flailing about like a man on fire. Then she noticed his pallid skin was rapidly flushing, and pregnant boils erupted all over his body. They burst and popped, and blood began to leak out of his ears, nose, and eyes.
He screamed so terribly that Brianna almost felt sorry for him.
The Arab released Tuck's body. Still leaking blood and pus, it slumped to the floor, steaming like a hot towel. Khalid turned to Brianna. She had barely moved since the cowboy had dropped her there. They watched each other for some time before Brianna found guts enough to speak.
"How did you do that? What are you?"
"I am as I said I am."
"A vampire." Khalid nodded. "You're not like any vampire I've ever seen." She remarked, in what was possibly the biggest understatement of her life.
The Arab made that unpleasant face again. "Pfah! You have never seen a vampire before. Only these diseased monstrosities."
"But how - "
He held up a hand to silence her. "Enough. If I have regretted my silence once, I have regretted my chatter many times. I have a proposition for you. You are called Brianna, yes?"
Brianna's expression was a blank stare. "Yes, how did you - ?"
"'Strong one.' Gaelic. I can see that you too, are aptly named. This night, you have lived up to it."
Brianna shook her head. She still felt nauseous from the impact of the wall, her stomach was twisting with fear, and she didn't feel the least bit strong.
"It is a mistake to think like that. A horse of good breed is not dishonored by its saddle."
Brianna's jaw dropped. How did he know what she was thinking?
He continued without pause. "You have options now, Strong One. If you wish, I will let you go. You can return to your fugitive life, your meager existence, your life of fear. Or, you can join me. You can help me learn more about this new world, so that I can better fight it. You can help me find others of my kind. We can raise a powerful force and strike against these craven monsters."
He looked at her with his rich, dark eyes. Her eyes were green, and filled with doubt.
"These beasts cannot stand, Strong One. If unchecked, they will destroy your kind and the world entire. It does me no good for humanity to be exterminated. It is in the best interests of both our races to depose this common threat. You have my word. Enter in this oath with me, and your people will benefit. This I swear before the eyes of Allah."
Brianna examined him closely. "You don't drink blood?"
"Certainly, I do. I must, to survive. Yet my kind has been around for thousands of years without ever being a threat to yours. We needn't slaughter an entire species to sate our hunger. I will require blood, and if necessary I will take it, but not a single man needs to die." His voice had the solemn weight of a strong faith.
Khalid Ibn al-Abbas as-Saffah, Prince of Ancient Baghdad, extended his hand. "What say you?"
Brianna looked at it uncertainly. "You're sure you're not going to eat me?" She said, searching his eyes.
His dark face flashed a pearly grin. "I am certain." It was a beautiful smile, but his sharp teeth could not help but make it very menacing.
"Or my friends."
"I swear this to be so."
Her eyes came back to Khalid's hand. If he wanted to kill me or my group, he probably wouldn't need my help to do it. What's that expression? 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend'?
"Deal." She said, and slapped her hand onto his.
User Reviews
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-06-15 19:26:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by guiness (user info) at 2006-06-12 13:42:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sheer genius
Submitted by Nellypaal (user info) at 2006-05-19 08:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read this ages ago but don't see a comment from me.
Have a long-overdue and much-deserved +2.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-05-10 15:16:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this truely deserves the "best ever" tag.
phenominal series...phenominal post, phenominal writer...phenominal everything
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-04-06 10:02:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The introduction of Khalid was good, but it just seemed a bit forced for him to say he was the son of the caliph, has lived 1500 years etc while he was beating the other vampire.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-02-03 01:42:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
It did?
Who are you again? Ah, never mind.
Submitted by Falco (user info) at 2006-01-22 03:51:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
It had to be done
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-11-30 13:18:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just put the previous comment in the wrong place. Oops.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-11-30 13:18:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And I forgot to say, thanks for not killing off my nephew!
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-08-17 18:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this is a really really really promising development. I love this Khalid character already.
Submitted by notyou (user info) at 2005-07-05 13:34:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JHoersten2 (user info) at 2005-05-30 14:20:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 being that it's too long for me to care to read.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2005-05-24 15:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
First off, I must ask where you picked up those arabic phrases? You used them correctly, in context, etc... but without knowing the language, or having a friend to clue you in, it's extremely difficult to incorporate phrases of a language unknown to you into stories.
I'm sorry I was so stubborn about reading this series. This post was amazing. It had a lot of detail without seeming detailed.
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-05-16 09:32:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-05-12 17:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have just got done reading these all and I have enjoyed them all. Great work everyone, +2's for all!
Submitted by Saxon (user info) at 2005-04-01 01:07:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I missed this one. this is good stuff.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-20 03:33:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Pen, you've got a point there. I tend to get caught up in descriptions when I write...which is probably why everything I write ends up being about three times as long as I predict it to be. Maybe I'm just trying to be too clever.
Submitted by pen_name (user info) at 2005-03-20 02:47:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
so the guy from "the mummy" was a vampire. hell if i knew.
Nice writing. When as-Saffah was introduced and began his slaughter, it felt like there were a few too many similes. Sometimes all you have to do is describe the action and let the reader find his own imagery.
Other than that, this had me captivated from beginning to end. good work.
Submitted by Benny (user info) at 2005-03-16 22:06:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad that you've decided to write more. I had just been thinking it would be neat if there were some traditional vampires around and what they would make of leeches. I think your take on it would be the right one. If traditional vampires existed at the same time as leeches they would probably believe them inferior at best and most likely want to eradicate them so that they didn't have to share a food source.
Submitted by Faithless_Whisper (user info) at 2005-03-15 13:39:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This...blew me away. Really, really well written!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-14 19:51:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I see whatcher sayin'. I went back and forth over what kinds of "special" powers he would display, and sadly, telekinesis and pyrokinesis was all I could think of that made the right splash. The only other candidates were invisibility and mind control, neither of which made the fight very interesting. And I figured, this dude's pretty old, he should have some heavy duty powers.
I will write more. It might take me a while, though.
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-03-14 16:37:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
"What over the top stuff are you referring to? The lighting of the candles, or something else? I threw that in there to give the indication that this guy had a different scope of powers and was a new kind of creature. Well, an old creature I guess, but you know what I mean."
Well, the lighting of the candles is one thing. Stopping dudes in mid-air is another.
I mean, vampires are supposed to have supernatural powers and all, but they're usually supposed to be a bit more subtle than that. Think incredible speed or mysterious ability to induce dread instead of telekinesis and making things spontaneously combust.
You should probably just ignore me, though; I've played too much Vampire: Bloodlines.
You oughta continue this, though. Seriously, I want more!
Submitted by Wazza (user info) at 2005-03-14 14:30:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
nice vamp.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-14 14:17:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Tie vampires to Islam? What a neat and religiously offensive idea. No, I just thought it would be interesting to have a non-stereotypical vampire character, and I dont' recall every seeing an Arab vampire. The "plan" (which is so loosely constructed right now that i don't feel justified in calling it that) is to have 'classic' vampires and humans wage war on the leeches.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-03-14 12:34:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-11 10:09:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, the family that I assigned my fictional vampire guy to belong to claims to have ties to Muhammed, the founder of Islam. Muhammed was born in 570 AD, and Abu al-Abbasid (who died in 752 AD of unnatural causes) claimed to be a great great great grandson (or something)of the prophet. The Abbasid dynasty would work to spread Islam throughout the East in the next few hundred years.
In saying this, I realize I made a math error when Khalid said he was 15 centuries old. He was born circa 750 AD, and should be 12 or 13 centuries old, depending on when this pandemic thing takes place. Whoops.
---------------------------------
Gotcha, are you going to tie vampires to the spread of Islam or just leave this as is?
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-03-14 12:16:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2005-03-12 12:02:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Even though you rock more then me. Here is my contribution - http://www.ubersite.com/m/61730
Submitted by tlozoot (user info) at 2005-03-11 19:44:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2005-03-11 19:17:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'll just give this a +2 and not make ant comments about stupid men missing the BLATANT signals women throw them...
="You're sure you're not going to eat me?" She said, searching his eyes.=
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-11 17:04:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks Dannie. It's been in the back of my head, and I think I've figured a way that I can do this without nailing any doors shut, and in a way I'll still be happy with.
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-03-11 12:54:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I would love to see more of this. I hope there is a way you feel you can continue it. There are so many possibilities, and so many areas that these different battles could be taking place that I think you could continue without limiting other writers.
I was glad for the pic at the end, because he came to mind when you described your character.
Did I mention that this is excellent?
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-11 10:09:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, the family that I assigned my fictional vampire guy to belong to claims to have ties to Muhammed, the founder of Islam. Muhammed was born in 570 AD, and Abu al-Abbasid (who died in 752 AD of unnatural causes) claimed to be a great great great grandson (or something)of the prophet. The Abbasid dynasty would work to spread Islam throughout the East in the next few hundred years.
In saying this, I realize I made a math error when Khalid said he was 15 centuries old. He was born circa 750 AD, and should be 12 or 13 centuries old, depending on when this pandemic thing takes place. Whoops.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-03-11 03:52:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-01-29 00:37:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because, as previously discussed, you are a king amoungst men.
And for the big black cock of death. Does that have anything to do with the Bill Hicks, or a comic book called Preacher...in which they reference Bill Hicks?
----------------------
The preacher rocks! I liked this post, not trying to bust your chops or anything. But if Vampires were that old they would have been christian, or an older religion, islam is relatively new.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 20:25:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
slightly above average
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-03-10 20:18:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-10 18:06:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:09:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
you need to keep this coming caes face. this rocked my world.
***********************************************
"caes face"?
Submitted by brokenlizard534 (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:29:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Phinch (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:31:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think that the world is so large that you can have some serious battles, the war will not end for a long time.
like they said before me,
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:12:10 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:01:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
are you kidding me?
part 2 of 2?
come on.
if you mean part 2 of 10 then thats more like it.
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:09:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
you need to keep this coming caes face. this rocked my world.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-10 08:44:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I kept thinking Blade/Wesley Snipes as I read this.
One possible conclusion: The Vampire Prince could just be a bullshitter and be just a leech - a really suave leech.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-10 07:31:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-03-10 05:31:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck! Finally, a real, honest-to-goodness vampire in this thing! Thank you Jesus!
Although the over-the-top abra-cadabra stuff could've been toned down a bit, and I definetely could've done without that guy from The Mummy.
**********************************************
Ha! I went back and forth over whether or not to include that picture. I decided to post it because I sort of modelled Khalid on his basic appearance, but I didn't want a direct connection, which is why I used that red sketch instead of a real photo of him.
What over the top stuff are you referring to? The lighting of the candles, or something else? I threw that in there to give the indication that this guy had a different scope of powers and was a new kind of creature. Well, an old creature I guess, but you know what I mean.
Judoka, that's a good suggestion. Still waiting to hear from Jack on this one...
Submitted by Judoka (user info) at 2005-03-10 07:22:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you want to continue your story line and still keep it independant use a subtitle so the readers know that this your own take on a shared universe.
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2005-03-10 06:35:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
2 of 10
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-03-10 05:31:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy fuck! Finally, a real, honest-to-goodness vampire in this thing! Thank you Jesus!
Although the over-the-top abra-cadabra stuff could've been toned down a bit, and I definetely could've done without that guy from The Mummy.
But still ... A REAL FUCKING VAMPIRE! Yay!
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-03-10 01:07:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Those possiblilities exist when you take on a scope as grand as this. Still I would hate to see this end here.
I'll put Monkey's in my story if you put a Donkey in yours.
Just a thought.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-10 00:51:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I appreciate the comments, guys.
My problem is, if I write this to a conclusion (which will take forever, by the way), I'm afraid I will close some doors. I may lock Jack's world down into one path, or at least block off some avenues. Or, when I hit part 5 or whatever, another writer may post a story that completely ruins mine. It's already kind of hard to keep track of everthing going on...
I like the idea of this being an open-ended, no limits concept, and I don't want to step on anyone's toes or limit the possibilities. What do you guys think?
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-03-10 00:04:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh damn, man. You can't just leave us hanging like that.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2005-03-09 23:22:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice twist on the theme.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2005-03-09 22:11:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Continue.
Submitted by foster (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:56:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by spedmonkey (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:45:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yay!
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:34:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good God...this is awesome.
2 of 10 indeed!
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:27:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
You guys are KILLING ME!!
:)
Submitted by Id (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:23:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Indeed, I hope you continue with this.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:16:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
screw you.
i want more of this.
seriously.
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:14:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, as an aside, I like this possible explanation of why the leeches are rebuilding 25 years later better than mine:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61527
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:12:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Hell no, it's not 2 of 10 (but thanks for the encouragement). This 2 parter dominated my life for the past five days. This is a possible explanation of why the leeches are still rebuilding after 25 years: a vampire versus leech war.
Incidentally,
Khalid = "eternal, immortal, glorious"
Ibn al-Abbas = "son of al-Abbas"
as-Saffah = "shedder of blood, bloodletter"
Khalid is a fictional character, but his 'father', Abu al-Abbas, later renamed as-Saffah, was Caliph of Baghdad in 749 AD.
Thanks guys.
Submitted by stardamage (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:12:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:01:46 (#)
Ranking: 2
are you kidding me?
part 2 of 2?
come on.
if you mean part 2 of 10 then thats more like it.
Submitted by Yes (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:09:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ahhh, badass.
Submitted by ChronicMasturbator (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:04:31 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking Awesome.
I like it. You should do more episodes of this.
Submitted by bob (user info) at 2005-03-09 21:01:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
are you kidding me?
part 2 of 2?
come on.
if you mean part 2 of 10 then thats more like it.