How to tell if you are an idiot: (1406 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -0.29 on 70 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Affinity (View user info) at 2005-03-10 08:54:43 EST
First post, been floating around Uber for a couple of months and would like to
share a few observations. I know you'll appreciate it.................
Firstly, there is some genuinely innovative and entertaining stuff here,
a pleasure to peruse.
Secondly, there are some appalling wankers writing and commenting.
I wish that they were making some kind of ironic statement...................... Yet I fear not.
Here is how to tell if you are an idiot:
• You define a culture with reference only to itself and not any
particular achievement of said culture. Typical comments might be:
"America Rocks...................errrr......... Yeah!"
"All Arabs are terrorists and should be immolated"
"Fuck the Froggie French fuck fuckers blah blah"
Also.... You think individuals are representative of whole communities or societies
• You refer to the noble penis as a woman destroying weapon and the magnificent
vagina as some sort of battlefield injury:
".......and then I shot a sticky round blowing a dirty red hole into the bitch"
• You idolise George "in the name of God" Bush
"Freedom, freedom, democracy, terror, freedom, evil, democracy"
Enough said
• You use other derogatory terms for other people's lifestyles as a way of
asserting the magnificence of your own lifestyle choice.
"You faggoty fag, you take it in the arse blah blah"
.......makes no sense when translated to the heterosexual
"You fucking heterosexual, you insert your penis into a vagina"
........or even better
"Go drink some tea you Limey cunt"......................O.K., I like tea
• You think that extreme views make you tough and that retribution is a
sound basis for a justice system. Well yes, that really has worked well hasn't
it? This includes religious and political extremism (there may not be a difference)
• You think guns are cool and you have a right to have one. Bloody hell.
• You are a patriot.
Anyway, you know the kind of thing. All academic anyway because if you want to make
something of it you god fearing pussy Americans, we Brits will fuck you up by sending
our little brown slave friends the Ghurkhas to shoot you first in your mouths with
their tiny potent pricks then second in the head with their poorly made German pistols.
All in the name of the Queen, god bless her.......................
Let the hate commence
User Reviews
Submitted by Obi-wan (user info) at 2005-06-07 16:53:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
First post, been floating around Uber for a couple of months and would like to
share a few observations.
_______________________________________________
Yet you don't know what an alter is and say its your first post which is a no no.
I think we all know who is the idiot here.
Answer: YOU
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-06-07 16:28:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-04-16 15:37:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm imagining that flag waving gently in the breeze...
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2005-04-16 15:08:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Oh fucking hell you're British...well I still think you're twat, and by the way this is a rating of this post, not some kind of stupid retaliation.
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 22:06:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus Lunch_Pail,
I mean can you even read because your comprehension of this
post and it's comments is sorely lacking.
Jack off, calm down and try reading it again. Maybe, just maybe
you will begin to separate inference from statement and irony from
literalism..............
put some band-aid on your knuckles, they could get infected and
you might die.
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 21:59:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I have had a sudden and all too familiar change of heart.
Lunch_Pail's heartfelt testimonial has completely changed my mind
about the gun issue.
Uber Americans, hunt down and shoot that illiterate pleb
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-03-10 21:53:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Lunch_Pail (user info) at 2005-03-10 21:52:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
More ways to tell if youre an idiot:
-You wrote this rotten piece of shit post
-You think all americans voted for bush
-You said "Also.... You think individuals are representative of whole communities or societies " and then still made this post- dumbshit.
-You are against owning guns
-The leaders of your country who you worship more than god is nothing more than a rich stuck person that is where they are, simply becaause of blood line. Americans beleive in working to get ahead- lazy ass Euros make me sick.
-You are not a patriot. What kind of pussy is not a patriot. You should defend your nation at all costs.
-You said "Anyway, you know the kind of thing. All academic anyway because if you want to make
something of it you god fearing pussy Americans, we Brits will fuck you up by sending
our little brown slave friends the Ghurkhas to shoot you first in your mouths with
their tiny potent pricks then second in the head with their poorly made German pistols.
All in the name of the Queen, god bless her....................... " after saying guns suck. How are you going to come shoot me when you dont even have a gun? Also, what happened back in the day? Why arent we a British colony anymore? Oh yeah, because we kicked your fuckin British ass.
-You are to much of a pussy to help anyone but yourself. We should be spreading freedom.
I wish I could include a picture of my gun.
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 21:19:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I dissasociate myself from smoke_in_my_lungs +2
He is whom I have been talking about
Christ on a bike................
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 21:16:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear bush_for_god,
idolise is English for Idolize.
My objection to patriotism is that it precludes the possibility that
the rulers of the land are retarded and the laws they make moronic.
Better to be a citizen of the world than a citizen of Crackertown. And
before you acuse me of calling America Crackertown, I am refering to England.
Blair is King Cracker........
I know you guys miss Z's, so here a few to replace the ones I won't use in the future.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-03-10 21:15:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I see.
Er...is that the chick from "Crocodile Dundee?"
Submitted by smoke_in_my_lungs (user info) at 2005-03-10 21:15:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yea! Fuck America! Fuck it right in it's eye!
I'd let her suck my cock though...
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 21:09:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Ghurkhas are kick ass soldiers from Nepal. They work
for the Brits. We go to the mountains and put em through
loads of tests; kicking a hill down, punching an ox out etc.
They come to Britland, wear uniforms and kill for us.
In the Falklands war, all the Brit squaddies were told to do their
bootlaces up in a particular way cos Ghurkhas hung around at night
in long grass feeling up the legs of passing troops.
Bootlaces wrong = suddenly having your guts hanging out
None of then are above 5 foot tall and they're very polite.
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-03-10 21:09:00 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
• You idolise George "in the name of God" Bush
1. You spelled idolize wrong
2. Does that have anything to do with me?
• You are a patriot.
1. According to Merriam-Webster Online, a patriot is: "One who loves his or her country and supports its authority and interests."
2. You make it sound like Britons rock, but how can you think that unless you're an idiot....?
•
1. I didn't know you could do bullets.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-03-10 20:59:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fair enough then, good answer.
Er, what's a Ghurkha?
Submitted by Perzik (user info) at 2005-03-10 20:52:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
huh?
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 20:39:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Criminy EbolaMay,
I'm not up for any sort of bashing. There are enough arseholes
to go round. That's the whole point!
The pussies thing was an illustration of the things that
piss me off about some of the posts and comments. If I
hated Americans then why would be trying to entertain them?
*meh*
p.s. I didn't know about the one post per day rule, cheers for
the heads up
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-03-10 20:28:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dumbass. Funny you say say one is an idiot if they believe individuals represent and entire culture, but then you turn this into an Anti-America bashing, calling us "pussies," and whatnot.
You're stoopid. And to think I really liked your photoshop post of dickhead Adam and his slutty wife.
Oh, yeah, one more thing: One post per day, dude!!!!
Submitted by Heather (user info) at 2005-03-10 16:06:40 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
fuck fucker blah blah.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:54:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:03:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
How to tell if you are an idiot:
Write a post telling people how to tell if you're an idiot.
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:36:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
She is lovely isn't she........
God bless American tits
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:10:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Go drink some tea you Limey cunt"......................but thanks for the picture
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:59:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:03:05 (#)
Ranking: -2
How to tell if you are an idiot:
Write a post telling people how to tell if you're an idiot.
-----------------------------------
Well said. The lovely, very patriotic lady saved you from the well deserved -2 DIE!
Submitted by podium (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:46:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't bother to read the post.
The pic was enough for a +2.
Cheers
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:51:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Can you get fired for looking at a pair of painted knockers.
If so you should all think about getting better jobs........
.......or even doing your jobs instead of reading uber.
Stin, your inability to post a working link suggests to me that you breathe
through your mouth.
Hobbs, you good grace and manners does your parents proud. Ghana salutes you
and bestows upon you the 'order of the antelope' merit badge.
Shlongy, I am assuming that 'polegobbler' is your signature.
the_mysterious_stranger, where did I mention repulicans? I said patriot and
by patriot I mean parochial nit-wit. Quit putting words in my mouth as a
wishful substitute for your knob. If you want a blow job, just ask. I will say
no though, just like everyone else has.
By the way, I printed out all the negative scoring comments and ate them in
a wrath sandwich. Delicious.
Submitted by TheSunGod (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:09:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
i was about to -2 this pit of swill, but... boobies.
Submitted by the_mysterious_stranger (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:57:48 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
sorry i ment -2
Submitted by the_mysterious_stranger (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:55:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You define a culture with reference only to itself and not any
particular achievement of said culture. Typical comments might be:
and then he goes ahead and makes a hate post on republicans. Oh the intelligence...
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:38:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:35:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Who the fuck are you to talk to ME like this?
Polegobbler.
----------------
Ban her Bart Bart, there was no NSFW on this post! If I needed to work, I could have been fired, oh but I'm black, so that would have been a hate crime. GO AFERMATIVE ACTION WOO!!!!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:35:28 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Who the fuck are you to talk to ME like this?
Polegobbler.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:28:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
• You post useless crap that just wastes mine and everyone elses time
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:25:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
There's a ghost down in the hall
There's a ghoul beneath the bed
Now it's coming through the walls
Now it's coming up the stairs
There's a spirit in the dark
Hear the beating of his heart
Can you feel it in the air
Ghosts be hiding everywhere
I'm gonna be
Exactly what you wanna see
It's you who's haunting me
Because you're wanting me
To be the stranger
In the night
Am I amusing you
But just confusing me
Am I the beast
You visualized
And if you wanna see
Eccentric oddities
I'll be grotesque
Before your eye
Let them all materialize
Is that scary for you baby
Am I scary for you oh boy
Is it scary for you big baby
Is it scary for you
You know the stranger is you
Is it scary for you big baby
There's a creaking in the floor
There's a creak behind the door
There's a rocking in the chair
But nobody's sitting there
There's a ghastly smell around
But nobody to be found
And a coffin inlay open
Where a restless soul is pokin'
I'm gonna be
Exactly what you gonna see
So did you come to me
To see your fantasies
Performed before
Your very eyes
A haunting ghostly treat
The ghoulish trickery
And spirits dancing
In the night
But if you came to see
The truth the purity
It's here inside
A lonely heart
So let the performance start
Is that scary for you baby
Am I scary for you oh boy
Am I scary for you big baby
Am I scary for you oh boy
So tell me
Is it scary for you baby
Tell me
So tell me
Is that realism for you big baby
Am I scary for you
You know the stranger is you
Am I scary for ya
Masquerade the heart
Is the height of hurting souls
Just not what you see of me
Can hardly reveal the proof
Like a mirror reveals the truth
See the evil one is you
Is that scary for you big baby
Am I scary for you oh boy
Am I scary for you baby
Am I scary for you oh boy
So tell me
Am I scary for you baby
Am I scary for you baby
Is it scary for you baby
Am I scary for you oh boy
Wanna talk about
I wanna talk about
I don't wanna talk about
Wanna talk about
Am I scary for you baby
Is that scary for you
I'm tired of being abused
You know you're scaring me too
I see the evil is you
Is it scary for you baby oh
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:21:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:19:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear Affinity,
I would like to refer you to the following website, which I feel may suit your needs perfectly:
http://www.takeyourheadoutofyourarse.com/and%get%a%life.htm
Thanking you for your kind attention.
Yours sincerely,
Stin
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:15:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
God save the Queen!
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:09:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Blast!
I say, good show old chap!
Im beginning to like this fellow.
-Hobbs
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:04:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
My dear hobbs,
your elaborate double bluff does you justice!
But I fear I must deposit egg upon thine face for
I am a 3/4 tonne rastafarian from Ghana
an' ting
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:00:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:53:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
What's your beef Hobbs?
Is it a fucking crime to be able to take criticism?
Is it a crime to take tea on the patio at sunset with
my horsey wife who has terrible teeth and my two butt ugly kids?
Is it a crime to say 'oh good show' and 'jolly good thing too'
You sir, are an anti-Britite
---------------------------------
I often use words and sayings such as 'Blast', 'Good show old chap' and 'tally ho(this one often ended with 'mother fucker').
I, sir, am a Brit!
Fool.
haha
-Hobbs (Chadwick Merryweather Harding, The Third)
*Scoff Scoff*
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:53:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's your beef Hobbs?
Is it a fucking crime to be able to take criticism?
Is it a crime to take tea on the patio at sunset with
my horsey wife who has terrible teeth and my two butt ugly kids?
Is it a crime to say 'oh good show' and 'jolly good thing too'
You sir, are an anti-Britite
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:47:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck it, your pissing me off now.
(high horse).
I bet you have a really strong English accent and drink earl greay tea with a slice of lemon, no sugar and no milk?
-Hobbs
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:42:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
pantsarestupid, you have made a valid point. I didn't want the post
to imply that all Americans think the same. It is my writing that
is at fault there. A true idiot makes generalisations... I thank
you for that observation. There are as many nationalistic tossers
in Britain as there are in France and the Middle East and the States etc.
Stin, I refer you to:
Dear MichaelJackson,
It was an example you dunce.
Your sincerley,
Affinity
except I would add 'you boring dunce'
Sassmasterr, thanks for explaining the 'alter' thing.
I am not.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:40:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:26:55 (#)
Ranking: 0
p.s. Your sisters bits put me in mind of used teabags
------------------------------
Yeah she's a bitch, I've never liked her. Jermaine was my favorite, he was the only one who didn't beat me
Submitted by pantsarestupid (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:28:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
I...
oh just forget it. I can't give you a negative rating because for the most part I can agree with what you have to say. But, then again, you're speaking like everyone in America thinks and feels the same. Why?
Submitted by Stin (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:27:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If you called DeathJester an American anything, you'd be an appalling idiot since he's British.
Twatwaffle.
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:26:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear MichaelJackson,
I am having a doubt about your credibility.
I was sure you were an advocate of universal peace
and love, philosophies close to my own heart.
I am sure that your recent trouble with the law
is having a detrimental affect on your boundless
love for all living things, myself modestly included.
Affinity
p.s. Your sisters bits put me in mind of used teabags
Submitted by hobbs (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:26:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I dont like this post.
It was a bad first post.
I dont mean to sound all high and mighty but I have read much better first posts.
Its not as bad as some of the shit that has been popping up recentlty.
-Hobbs
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:23:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:01:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
What is an 'alter' for christ's sake?
Anyway, I would suggest that those posting -2 die etc.
are those same individuals who reflecting upon their
own sad and undistingushed posting careers realise
that they have broken the above indicators often and
repeatedly.
Let me give you a little example:
If I were to call DeathJester an anus, that is o.k.
If I call DeathJester an American anus, that infers
all americans are ani and is therefore idiotic.
Bravo numbskulls
-------------------------
if you called him an American anus, i would think of it as just classifying what kind of anus he is.
i'd give you a +1 for the tits but this is a first post (auto -2).
alters: creating an alternate username and posting/reviewing under that (usually sucks and is only for attention)
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:19:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Dear Affinity,
I am Michael Jackson. I am a rich and famous celeb. I have 17 platinum albums and a sister that flashed her bits on tv.
I actually couldn't give a shit.
Your sincerley,
(The) Michael Jackson
PS: Shamone!
Submitted by cuberat (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:13:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
George "in the name of God" Bush.....
HAHA
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:13:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Dear MichaelJackson,
It was an example you dunce.
Your sincerley,
Affinity
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:10:01 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:01:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
What is an 'alter' for christ's sake?
Anyway, I would suggest that those posting -2 die etc.
are those same individuals who reflecting upon their
own sad and undistingushed posting careers realise
that they have broken the above indicators often and
repeatedly.
Let me give you a little example:
If I were to call DeathJester an anus, that is o.k.
If I call DeathJester an American anus, that infers
all americans are ani and is therefore idiotic.
Bravo numbskulls
--------------------
Last time I checked, DeathJester is from England - Shamoned
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 10:01:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What is an 'alter' for christ's sake?
Anyway, I would suggest that those posting -2 die etc.
are those same individuals who reflecting upon their
own sad and undistingushed posting careers realise
that they have broken the above indicators often and
repeatedly.
Let me give you a little example:
If I were to call DeathJester an anus, that is o.k.
If I call DeathJester an American anus, that infers
all americans are ani and is therefore idiotic.
Bravo numbskulls
Submitted by ellsmall (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:53:18 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
-2 die
Submitted by Jungle_Jimanee (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:52:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:47:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
WOW... PAINTED BOOBS ??
What a Stunning Cunt......I mean Cunning Stunt!!
Here's another -2 Mr. Alter
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:28:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
welcome!
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:26:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
What's an 'alter'?
------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:23:16 (#)
Ranking: -2
I am unsure if you are an alter...at any rate, your attempt here is lame.
------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks though MickGinny, your gesture is appreciated
now fuck off
Submitted by MickGinny (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:23:16 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I am unsure if you are an alter...at any rate, your attempt here is lame.
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:21:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know exactly what you mean http://www.ubersite.com/m/56748
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:21:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Works for me!
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:19:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
The painted jugs, while lovely, were nothing
more than a cynical ploy to elicit + scores.
Cunning eh?
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:09:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You're awesome, Affinity.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:09:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
yer +1
but f'ing +1000000 for the painted bitch, there be some lovely boobies
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:08:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Rally patriots, Rally!
Submitted by Affinity (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:06:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm feeling the love.........
you guys warm my cockles
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:03:05 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
How to tell if you are an idiot:
Write a post telling people how to tell if you're an idiot.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-10 09:00:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know how many times I have told you damn kids to STAY AWAY FROM THAT OVEN CLEANER!
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2005-03-10 08:59:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Wonderful, I loved it!!
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-03-10 08:59:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry, but you really aren't worth the energy to hate you.
meh.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2005-03-10 08:58:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
If I hadn't been high on oven cleaner and had remembered to vote - I would have voted for Bush