Fun With Real E-Mail, Part 9 (9525 hits)
Category: HumorLabels: fun_with_real_e-mail
Rating: 1.55 on 180 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Tom Sorrell - sorrelltr.at.hotmail.com (View user info) at 2005-03-10 11:17:29 EST
The FUN WITH REAL E-MAIL series
Part 1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/57074
Part 2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/57130
Part 3: http://www.ubersite.com/m/57235
Part 4: http://www.ubersite.com/m/57964
Part 5: http://www.ubersite.com/m/58410
Part 6: http://www.ubersite.com/m/59038
Part 7: http://www.ubersite.com/m/59553
Part 8: http://www.ubersite.com/m/59986
How many of you thought I would make it this far without getting written up and/or fired? Well I'm still here, and still sending those e-mails. However, it took me a long time to put these together, so I'm thinking there will not be another one for quite some time.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.
Fun With Real E-Mail, Part Nine.
---------------------------------------------
To: Tom Sorrell
From: LOTI (Lord of the Idiots - See part five for an explanation.)
Subject: Can you help me?
I have a trade correction that (name deleted) needs to get done. Do you have time to do it or should I give it to the Ops Manager?
--
To: LOTI
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Can you help me?
Sorry, I'm reading a book right now.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: LOTI
Subject: ??
What? What book?
--
To: LOTI
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re:??
It's called: "The History of Super Glue and Rubber Cement" and I can't put it down!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: LOTI
Subject: re: ??
So should I call the Ops Manager about it since you're busy??
--
To: LOTI
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: ??
I can't put it down. It's a book about super glue and rubber cement...
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: LOTI
Subject: re: ??
Fine, I'll talk to the Ops Manager since you're busy.
--
To: LOTI
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: ??
**sigh**
GET THERE FASTER!!!
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: LOTI
Subject: re: ??
Get where faster? I don't care if you read.
--
To: LOTI
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: ??
Just bring the ticket down to me, I'll do it.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: LOTI
Subject: re: ??
Thank you!
---------------------------------------------
To: All Sales Assistants
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: Paper
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have received word from thine paper company on high that our four wonderful boxes of crisp paper will be delivered "sometime today."
Rejoice!! Rejoice!! Sing the praises of UPS man when he arrives, for he brings with him your salvation! Honor the UPS man in many diverse ways. Sacrifice a goat. Bring him the flowers from Mary's desk. Buy him something from the vending machines (but stay away from the Zingers unless you want to lose your fingers).
When he arrives, we shall embrace him as one of us! Everyone say it with me:
ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!
I think we should all shave our heads, buy a bunch of flowers and go pass out pamphlets at the airport. WHO'S WITH ME??
Tom
--
To: All Sales Assistants
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: PAPER, PART 2
The paper is here, it's time to party! WOO!!
Did anyone bring a piñata? What about bean dip? Who brought the bean dip? It's not a party without bean dip. Do we have any bean dip?
No?
Fine, no party.
---------------------------------------------
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Eric
Subject: DEAR GOD
Does (name deleted) EVER not complain about free food? Seriously, it's free! What the hell is wrong with her?
--
To: Eric
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: Well
She looks the proverbial gift-horse in the mouth. She's a moron.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Eric
Subject: re: Well
You know what I always say, a penny saved is a penny earned. You'll never hear me complaining about food. (Name deleted) on the other hand...
--
To: Eric
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Well
Well Eric, you can lead the horse to water, but you can't make him (or in this case: her) drink.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Eric
Subject: re: Well
I just don't get her. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. What's her deal?
--
To: Eric
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Well
Eh, a fool and her money are soon parted.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Eric
Subject: re: Well
Yea, but money makes the world go round, so I guess she's doing her part.
--
To: Eric
From: Tom Sorrel
Subject: re: Well
Maybe she's on her period... Speaking of which, I've heard that periods attract bears. They can smell the menstruation.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Eric
Subject: re: Well
See, now she's putting the whole building in danger.
----
To: Tom Sorrell and Eric
From: Brian
Subject: ENOUGH ALREADY
I keep getting pop ups on my screen from your e-mails every five seconds. Shut up... both of you. Use the telephone or something! Don't make me come back there and clunk your heads together like Moe.
----
To: Eric
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Well
Boy, Brian seems madder than a wet hen. He really read us the riot act. You know his bark is bigger than his bite, but I'm thinking we should stop with the clichés and get to work.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Eric
Subject: re: Well
Good point. After all, and a stitch in time saves nine.
--
To: Eric
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Well
You can say that again.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Eric
Subject: re: Well
A stitch in time saves nine.
---------------------------------------------
(Editor's note: Every so often, Brian will send out a morning e-mail to everyone in the building. Here are three samples:
---------------------------------------------
To: Everyone
From: Brian
Subject: Good Morning
First item of note: Sister Mary Rose Therese, my third grade teacher, died yesterday. We nicknamed her "Hot Rod Rosie" because she was the official driver for the other nuns. One of my most vivid memories of her was when after about a month of school she took Bobby Dzubiaki, the biggest, baddest kid in class into the coat room and he came out a whimpering, simpering, tear-stained, blubbering, broken, mass of kielbasa. Needless to say the rest of the year went according to her script. I've never ascribed to that style of leadership but have seen it replayed many times in my life.
(Editor's note: The rest of the e-mail was about the current state of the market, what's going on in the office, etc...)
Brian
---------------------------------------------
To: Everyone
From: Brian
Subject: Blygh has been seen.
Captain Blygh has been seen creeping around here lately. He noticed that some little scamp exploded food in the microwave and failed to clean up the result. Tisc tisc. Blygh says if he ever catches the stinker he'll get mid-evil on 'em.
Brian
---------------------------------------------
To: Everyone
From: Brian
Subject: FYI
I will be very busy today, so please do not bother me unless you have a question or work-related request. If you come into my office without one of those, I will chain you to a pipe in the boiler room. If it looks like I am not busy, you may lean into my office and call me by the name Gordon Johncock. If I reply, you may come in and sit down. If not, the boiler room will seem like a vacation.
Gordon
User Reviews
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2007-02-27 22:12:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-04-04 23:36:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahah
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-04-04 23:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by darkwulffe (user info) at 2005-03-30 01:32:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love real fun with email
Submitted by ScottMaximus (user info) at 2005-03-14 20:27:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
not the best but still good.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-14 16:37:50 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I wish I thought it was still humorous.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2005-03-14 16:26:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Still kicks ass.
Submitted by lordhamlett (user info) at 2005-03-14 13:50:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
...
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-03-14 09:51:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
As of now this series has generated 64,260 hits for Mr. Sorrell. Props to you man. Over 7,000 hits avg/per post
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-03-13 18:18:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Check this out, it's pretty funny: http://www2.b3ta.com/top-10-cutest-kittens/
you can't hear it without the sound turned up, though.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2005-03-13 13:08:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
blah
Submitted by cpeachok (user info) at 2005-03-12 15:36:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Man that is some of the funniest shit i've seen. It is said and said again, but i'd love to work in place like that.
Submitted by Thirty_Four_Eggs (user info) at 2005-03-12 12:57:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-12 09:37:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2005-03-12 01:38:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
What the hell kind of office do you work in?!
-------
A stock-brokerage firm... a major one.
Submitted by tech-junkie (user info) at 2005-03-12 01:38:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What the hell kind of office do you work in?!
Submitted by LaNa (user info) at 2005-03-11 16:19:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:37:27 (#)
Ranking: -1
I read them all, and didn't laugh, chuckle, or even smirk.
==========================================================
Herpes - Your lack of sense of humor shouldn't be cause for poor ratings. If you don't find it funny, at least comment on the creativity... or the fact that his boss is better than yours :)
Speaking of which... Tom, please quit your job. I need... no, really I NEED a boss like Brian.
You can come here and email my co-workers...
...it'll give ya new material :)
C'mon... it'll be fun!
~LaNa
Submitted by Dannie (user info) at 2005-03-11 15:10:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
AAAAAaaaahaha.
Nice one Tom, I like the other's better but the whole bear thing was great. Our paper delivery arrived today.
Do you work with me?
I'm frightened.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-03-11 13:56:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61743
The truth about these "Fun With Real Email Series"
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2005-03-11 12:41:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I wish I could have that kind of fun with e-mail, but I'm pretty sure my company would not find it funny. Damn large corporate bastids.
Submitted by LadyPlural (user info) at 2005-03-11 10:27:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YESYESYESYESYES
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!one!!thisonegoestoeleven!!!!1111!
I love you forever. No, really. And I am glad that you have managed to convert other members of your office to your particular brand of insanity. You, sir, officially Kick Ass.
Submitted by Jay_Bassman (user info) at 2005-03-11 09:52:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuckin' awesome, Tom. Keep it up, dude! I like to fuck with dumb customers when I'm working on the checkouts... I know it's not the same, but it makes me feel good.
---------------------------------------------
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2005-03-11 02:11:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 - Not as good as the others...the cliche part made me laugh out loud, though.
+1 - Satan is a prick.
I will become the richest man in the world when I invent a machine that allows you to reach through your computer screen and sucker punch someone.
I'd most definately buy one of those. Three, in fact.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-11 05:24:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
*danger, for christ's sake
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-11 05:24:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
*building in dager*
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2005-03-11 05:23:25 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
boooooooooorriiiiiiiiiing.............
Except for the bit with putting the whole danger in building from bears.
Submitted by Shroom (user info) at 2005-03-11 02:11:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+1 - Not as good as the others...the cliche part made me laugh out loud, though.
+1 - Satan is a prick.
I will become the richest man in the world when I invent a machine that allows you to reach through your computer screen and sucker punch someone.
Submitted by Val (user info) at 2005-03-11 01:10:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:39:19 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:46:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:37:27 (#)
Ranking: -1
I read them all, and didn't laugh, chuckle, or even smirk.
------------------------
That's fine, I know not everyone is going to like this. One person loves Monty Python and another person does not. Neither is wrong.
Thanks for the input, Herpes.
===============================
That is not true, one person loves monty python and the other person is wrong
=================================================================================
HAHAHAHAHAHA, so true
Submitted by someone (user info) at 2005-03-11 00:06:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:56:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't mean to be a meanie but the funniest part of this has been lojope trying to butt in on the conversation unsuccessfully this whole time.
===
Yup. And fuck that, don't apologize for pointing out the pathetically obvious.
Submitted by bush_for_god (user info) at 2005-03-10 23:57:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
does it make you feel big and powerful when you do not plus two the great Tom?
geez
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2005-03-10 23:37:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
To: Eric
From: Tom Sorrel
Subject: re: Well
Maybe she's on her period... Speaking of which, I've heard that periods attract bears. They can smell the menstruation.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Eric
Subject: re: Well
See, now she's putting the whole building in danger.
Funny.
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2005-03-10 23:26:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddamn! This shit is funny... keep 'em coming.
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2005-03-10 22:31:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
hahaha that sounds just like my office.
I remember the other day, my boss passed on a glowing email a customer sent about me to the company president.
His response back (copied to me) was "Glad you sent it to me. I was about to fire the little prick. Glad to see someone likes you, homo."
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2005-03-10 21:01:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tom, do you really do this shit at work?
Submitted by boneface (user info) at 2005-03-10 19:23:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by El_Mexicano (user info) at 2005-03-10 19:04:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
horale, this first time see theese. muy comico
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2005-03-10 18:56:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:54:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm pretty sure the more i keep at it, the better i look.
**************************************************
Er, no. No, that's incorrect.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-03-10 18:27:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
BTG, do you realize the game is on RIGHT NOW?
PSU leads 52-44 with 8 minutes left in the 2nd.
Submitted by Holz (user info) at 2005-03-10 18:26:46 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2005-03-10 18:21:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey Tom, for the next series, how 'bout "Fun with Real Comments by SGS"?
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 18:21:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No way, Spooner. There's NO WAY PSU is beating the Bucks. We're 19-11 this year and we're going to be excellent next season with Thad signing an 8-year extension.
The future is once again bright for OSU basketball.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-03-10 18:19:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and by the I meant the secret is Penn State's going to win.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-03-10 18:18:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The secret is...
PENN STATE V. OHIO STATE BIG TEN TOURNAMENT RIGHT NOW!!!! WOOOO!!!!!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2005-03-10 18:18:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Duders named Brian rawk.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 18:12:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Nah, the secret Spoon's referring to is not related to this post or Ubersite at all.
Submitted by williamson (user info) at 2005-03-10 18:08:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Good ol' Brian.
Submitted by DavyJones (user info) at 2005-03-10 18:05:06 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
This installment just wasn't there.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-03-10 17:57:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-10 17:46:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-10 17:34:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
What's the SECRET ? That shlongy is the satan person?
--------------------------------------------------------------
That wouldn't suprise me
What would be nice is if Tom was SGS and had been playing everyone for the post!
Possible?
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-03-10 17:54:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:09:55 (#)
Ranking: -2
wow, just wow. your stupidity ceases to amaze me.
------------------------------------------
I think you left the negative out of this line.
Here is a tip SGS: Don't call people smarter than you stupid. Just makes you look bad!
----
As for this:
and for your information, i am married, 24, and i have a job as marketing director at GE, so what was that man? i'm trying to alleviate boredom just like anyone else, can't help it if you don't like my style. with that said, go on and throw another little tantrum, question my sexuality, and ask me another egg-head question to try and get me to respond. watch what happens.
-----
Sounds to me like a commission only sales. In home sales use the Marketing Director angle sometimes.
And why is it necessary to compare success in life with Tom?
Does he threaten you somehow SGS?
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-03-10 17:54:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU CAN'T KNOW MY SECRET! I made a promise!
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-10 17:46:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-10 17:34:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
What's the SECRET ? That shlongy is the satan person?
--------------------------------------------------------------
That wouldn't suprise me
Submitted by Burn (user info) at 2005-03-10 17:40:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This is for all of these. How did I miss them?!
Submitted by tragiksaint (user info) at 2005-03-10 17:36:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
it's official. SGS is the most arrogant fuck I've seen on Uber. not even shlongy pisses me off that much, and this was just one series of comments.
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-10 17:34:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What's the SECRET ? That shlongy is the satan person?
Submitted by InsoManiac (user info) at 2005-03-10 17:31:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
When he arrives, we shall embrace him as one of us! Everyone say it with me:
ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!
ONE OF US!
------------------------
+2 because you reminded me to watch the Clerks cartoons tonight-classic. :-)
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2005-03-10 16:55:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Because this series is funny as shit
Sure, this one wasn't the best, but I'd trade my boss for Brian anytime.
Keep em coming.
nit
Submitted by CJRipley (user info) at 2005-03-10 16:51:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
YEAHHHH another installment!
Submitted by potatomanjack (user info) at 2005-03-10 16:50:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Keep'em coming, these are fantastic despite what that sperm-burper says.
Of course, I dpn't think anyone really cared what he had to say anyway, so perhaps the second part of that sentace didn't need to be written.
Or maybe it did. It did allow me to call him a sperm-burper after all.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 16:35:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
I know, Spooner... I know.
But it just doesn't matter.
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-03-10 16:34:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Pretty good.
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-10 16:28:24 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 16:19:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
What can I say? I've had a pretty boring day and I'm just talking for the sake of talking.
_--------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, I don't know. I thought your bath/slit your wrists post was rather clever and not at all unsuccessful.
As I read it I expected MY name to be there, not yours! I've never even written anything...I've just been the audience. But, hey, you've got to have an audience, right?
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2005-03-10 16:24:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I KNOW A SECRET!!!
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 16:19:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
What can I say? I've had a pretty boring day and I'm just talking for the sake of talking.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:56:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't mean to be a meanie but the funniest part of this has been lojope trying to butt in on the conversation unsuccessfully this whole time.
Submitted by DonkeyOnTheEdge (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:56:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Seriously, barely worth the read. I only did one "fun with real e-mail" but I venture to guess I put more effort into that one as you have done in this whole series.
It's not arrogance, it's truth.
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:47:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Why can't anyone ever start an argument on one of my posts?
http://www.ubersite.com/m/61676
Submitted by dodahdave (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:46:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Making me laugh out loud is always worth a +2.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:42:54 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it's pretty clear what will happen, Satan. He'll bait you, and you'll take the bait, effectively causing this post to get more hits, more attention, and more reviews praising Tom, and disagreeing with you.
You say you want people to see this so they will see Tom for what he really is... and it's working. More and more people are seeing this, and more and more people are deducing that Tom is funny and cool and if nothing else, an above average writer.
Good plan. I'm sure Tom is greatful that you've made it your project today to get him noticed.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:39:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:46:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:37:27 (#)
Ranking: -1
I read them all, and didn't laugh, chuckle, or even smirk.
------------------------
That's fine, I know not everyone is going to like this. One person loves Monty Python and another person does not. Neither is wrong.
Thanks for the input, Herpes.
===============================
That is not true, one person loves monty python and the other person is wrong
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:30:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
"Now i know you have a hard time understanding this but I DID NOT LIKE THIS POST. i said it like three times that i will rate you accordingly."
And I couldn't care less if you like this post or not, but you make it seem like everything I post is crap, then you complain about it and say you will do everything you can to make my life miserable.
Pick one thing and stick with it, clown.
And I never called your sexuality into question. I said find something or someone to occupy your time.
And you dare me? Oh, do you double dog dare me??
*rolls eyes*
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:23:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, normally I wouldn't praise something like this but compared to the hershey stains that are usually posted this is golden. Kudos Sorrell.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:22:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I know that Corporate America throws hands a VP title to anyone who can read, but since when are the people standing on the side of the road with a "BIG SALE" sign called "Marketing Directors"?
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:16:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:11:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:09:55 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
wow, just wow. your stupidity ceases to amaze me. i know this tom, i know you can post whatever because that's what people do, they post what they like. Now i know you have a hard time understanding this but I DID NOT LIKE THIS POST. i said it like three times that i will rate you accordingly.
and for your information, i am married, 24, and i have a job as marketing director at GE, so what was that man? i'm trying to alleviate boredom just like anyone else, can't help it if you don't like my style. with that said, go on and throw another little tantrum, question my sexuality, and ask me another egg-head question to try and get me to respond. watch what happens.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2005-03-10 15:02:44 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
they build you up just to knock you down....
not as funny as the others but still better than most on the rubbish i have read today.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:46:21 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:37:27 (#)
Ranking: -1
I read them all, and didn't laugh, chuckle, or even smirk.
------------------------
That's fine, I know not everyone is going to like this. One person loves Monty Python and another person does not. Neither is wrong.
Thanks for the input, Herpes.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:44:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Rawrg, I know it...
Submitted by Mr-Boo (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:37:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Congratulations....most heated
I still love the Fun with email(s). Need some fresh stuff, start fucking with Brian's boss...
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:37:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I read them all, and didn't laugh, chuckle, or even smirk.
Submitted by Rawrg (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:34:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
They're slipping, but +1 for effort and the comments that have followed.
Submitted by joefu007 (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:28:39 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
As always, very entertaining.
Submitted by strider (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:16:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:35:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
Satan, honey, (there's something I never thought I'd say) can you do something for me? Please? Just a little favor...
Go buy yourself some chocolate and champagne. Light some candles. Put on some soft, happy music, and slip into a nice warm bubble bath. Show yourself a little love, and take a moment to relax. Think about things you like about yourself, revel in some happy memories. Let all that self-hate that you are projecting onto everyone here just wash away.
And then, as your whole body sighs in comfort and relief...
Slit your wrists.
Trust me, it'll be better that way.
=====================
This needs to be said once again.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 14:13:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
So what's the problem, exactly? You don't have to pay to read what I write, nor do you have to give sexual favors. If I want to post something containing one word, I will, and there's not a damned thing you can do about it other than give me a negative rating.
You seriously need a hobby... or a job... or a woman... or even a man. Shit, if you want I'll even buy you a puppy. The point is, you desperately need something or someone to keep you occupied and calm you down a bit.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:59:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
yeah, sideburns is better than me, but i suck. sideburns has nothing on some of the unknowns and even the knowns around here. he posts stereotypical oh look, i got myself into a jam or oh look, i got caught in a sexual jam. even you are funnier than sideburns.
Submitted by Lechuga (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:58:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Loved it. Satan's a jackass
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:55:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:48:08 (#)
Ranking: -2
godamn, you assum i care about how many hits you have. i dont. i just promise to continue calling them as i see them, and soon your fate will be the same as the others that have fallen to me (adam,glall,cbg,sideburns,nitty)
----------------------------------------------------------
In the words of Christopher Walken, At Close Range:
LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-AAAAHHHHHHH
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:54:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Sideburns is a better author than you could ever dream to be. And trust me, I won't quit. I've had Shlongy on my ass since Thanksgiving (a total of -1.3 something on 150 or so reviews from him in that time) and that has not caused me to stop.
(Although he does get itchy sometimes and the beak he calls a nose sometimes goes places it shouldn't.)
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:48:08 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
godamn, you assum i care about how many hits you have. i dont. i just promise to continue calling them as i see them, and soon your fate will be the same as the others that have fallen to me (adam,glall,cbg,sideburns,nitty)
Submitted by Avals (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:45:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Bwahahahahahahahaha!
And what the fuck is a chest cold?!
Submitted by runninginplace (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:43:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
enjoyed.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:42:41 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
how is this shit rated so high? cliche and moronic, at best...
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:41:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:15:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
tom, i plan on making your life a living hell from now on.
------------------
OH LAWDY LORD!! HE DES'PET!!! DO WHAT HE SAY!!! DO WHAT HE SAY!!!!
Fucking idiot. How do you plan on doing this, might I ask? By giving my posts a -2 and replying to me? By all means, please do! I'll crack the MVA top 10 in a week.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:36:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:11:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
Will someone either give Shabazz his fucking medication, or track the bitter, lonely fatass down and SHOOT him in that big, block head of his?
Good grief, kid...shut the fuck up.
--------------------
AHHHH ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Even Shlongy hates satan... and the Charlie Brown-esque "Good Grief" made me soil myself.
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:31:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:29:09 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This wasn't the best of the series but have a 2 and some accolades to grind the sand together in Satan's coochie.
Tom's email series is the shit.
One can only aspire to have a work environment such as this.
Tom, if you stop doing this series, I'll have Mary call you on your home phone at 3:00AM every night and ask questions such as, "Tom, is your milk out of date?"
Oh, I'll do it, man. Don't think I won't.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:27:21 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
how the fuck is that funny lizzard its true. cbg hasnt posted in weeks, glall hasnt posted in close to a week, sideburns hasn't...you see the pattern. i'm pretty sure my talks with each of them are the main reasons they realized they, along with tom, are un-funny no-talent whores
Submitted by Heather (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:20:26 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
My emails are never that much fun.
Submitted by lizzard (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:16:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:05:09 (#)
Ranking: -2
watch yourself, tom. you're talking to the guy who made CBG, GLALL, and Sideburns quit writing.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
good lord, that line was almost as funny as the post... in a sad, "look at me!!!111!" kind of way.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:15:34 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
oh GLALL, your dick=sucking lips are so fine and pure. why dont you go +2 another piece of shit post so people will like you and your "random random cat" fucking retarded-ass posts. make out with shlongy behind the swingsets during recess, your both like what? 9?
oh and tom, i plan on making your life a living hell from now on.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:13:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not even CLOSE to being done writing SGS, maybe you should start up a new post so I can destroy your ass and send you back into hibernation.
Submitted by SiskelandFatboy (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:11:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I really enjoy these posts Man! Despite what others may think
But as I have repeatedly said, "what do I know"
Keep it up Dawg!
Submitted by espo (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:11:18 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:11:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Will someone either give Shabazz his fucking medication, or track the bitter, lonely fatass down and SHOOT him in that big, block head of his?
Good grief, kid...shut the fuck up.
Submitted by GodLovesALittleLovin (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:10:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
better than most the garbage i see anymore.
don't listen to this guy, tom. he used to IM me all the fucking time and tell me i was going to be this next big thing in writing, then one day I bash him and he -2's the fuck out of me and calls me a "dick-sucking sheep". Probably some fat kid in Wisconsin who's bi-polar.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:08:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Hey satan, where do you keep the weenies? Being that you're camping here, maybe we can build a fire and roast a few.
Submitted by UrbaneMischief (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:05:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
YAY!!!!!
Fun with Real E-mail AND my flight to vegas is in a few hours.
good fucking day! woooo!!!
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:05:09 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
watch yourself, tom. you're talking to the guy who made CBG, GLALL, and Sideburns quit writing.
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-10 13:04:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
ah yes, satanismemyselfandi, you bring up the word "consider".
Would you please consider your fellow man and R-U-N-N-O-F-T.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:57:35 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
that and you stats mean nothing. at best, i would say a total of 1000-1500 DIFFERENT people have seen your post, seen being the keyword. half of them go straight to the comments, the other half read half and rate based off of that. the average user re-clicks a post 8-10 times, so don't go feeling all "high" and mighty when your stats mean nothing. if you ask me that's not what i would even consider a "writer"
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:54:13 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
hahaha, more people are talking about me than you tom, ON YOUR OWN POST. wow, you suck ass
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:52:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Tom, you don't need to justify yourself to that loser. He's baiting you.
I don't find myself waiting for that - that THING to post but I do look forward to your e-mails.
Is that lojope's keyboard I hear?
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:52:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh beautiful, wonderful Satan, love of my life, (ahahaha I kill me) I have a wonderful idea. Print out all of Tom's Fun With Real Email posts and use them as tissues while you cry about how much more attention he gets than you. When you get paper cuts on your eyeballs and are stricken blind you won't be able to read Tom's posts anymore, and they won't upset you so much. Then it will be all better. See? Let Mommy help.
Submitted by tragiksaint (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:43:55 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck the naysayers, man. all of these are hillarious.
Submitted by wijormiclat (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:40:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Satan, you're a dumbass.
Submitted by EbolaMay (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:38:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I like these Tom. Plase keep doing them. Who give a shit what that Satan prick thinks?
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:32:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:30:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
maybe because, oh i dont know, I DONT WANT TO WRITE ANYTHING. YOU DO FUCKWAD, and while im at it ill talk to you till i'm blue in the face, not a fucking thing you can do. i call you a sheep because you and your brethren continue to stupify yourselves
----------------------------
Way to go dick, you must have made me stupify myself becaus I laughed at this post.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:31:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
30?
Go look at the 125 review for Part 7 or the 30,000 hits for Part 3. Or look at the overwhelmingly positive feedback I have received from it. Even Shlongy gave one or two of them a positive rating.
Out of my top six posts sorted by rating, three of them are Fun With Real E-Mails.
Out of my top six posts sorted by hits, three of them are Fun With Real E-Mails.
The facts support my statements.
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:26:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:22:22 (#)
Ranking: -2
just because you and 30 others at the most think it's good doesn't cement it into law as being accepted by everyone, guy
**********************
STFU
** Tom, I love Fun With Real E-mail!! It is what brought me to this site. I hate to hear anything about stoppage.
** Look at me...talkin' to lojope:
Hi Girlfriend! Love your work.
Submitted by heyzues (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:24:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I just read through the entire series for the first time and I must say you are one crazy mother.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:22:22 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
just because you and 30 others at the most think it's good doesn't cement it into law as being accepted by everyone, guy
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:20:34 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:04:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Silk, Tommy said I could, and I want to play. :o)
*******************
I know, lojope. And I want to read. Get medievial on his ass. The bath was beauty.
**And Satanismyfather, na na na na ??? WTF kind of reply is that? Are you crazy or just plain stupid? Use me again and I'll hex your satanic ass. Get your sorry ass in the bath. Right now! Your shit is exactly what all ugly people say.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:17:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Satan, I posted something a few weeks ago that was very similar to the things I wrote before this e-mail series. Here's a link: http://www.ubersite.com/m/60386
I notice you didn't review that one... hmmm.
I also wrote that article about Maurice Clarett last week that was pretty decent, but again, no review from you.
Oh, and here's something else. Since this series, nearly everything I post has a "MAKE ANOTHER E-MAIL POST!" review. The majority of the people enjoy this series, so that's what I give them. Why does it bother you so much? I don't get it.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:09:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Silk talked to me, Satan, my love.
Submitted by JohnGalt (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:08:16 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to know where to send my resume. I can juggle for at least 11 seconds and I don't like Zingers.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:07:52 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
notice how the only person talking to lojope is lojope? this is like an attention-whore convention consisting of the three biggest whores possible: me, tom, and lojope. what a happy family.
tom like i said, i want this to be seen, i dont give a fuck whether you get more hits and reads. its a website so its like going "nana nana na na" to an alien from another planet.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:07:52 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Satan, darling, (calling Satan pet names is cracking me up everytime) don't you see? It is YOU who are replying to everything WE say. You are playing right into the game. Your -2s mean nothing. Your opinions mean nothing. The rating on this post clearly shows that you are in the minority. No oine agrees with you, except shlongy... and well... that's not something to aspire to. The fact is, you are doing no damage at all. You are actually helping. Giving Tom more heat, more hits, more attention. You're helping him along the path you profess to hate.
Submitted by funk_boy (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:07:32 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
not as good as t'others.
some of the reviewing malarky below stinks of GayLordism.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:04:33 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Silk, Tommy said I could, and I want to play. :o)
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:03:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Keep them coming satan. Increase that heat rating for me like a good little bitch.
And what's funny is, even if I went back to psoting normal stuff (which I have been planning to do) you would still consider it stale and hackneyed.
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:02:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:35:53 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:34:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's all about Brian you know. He IS the Man!
Thank you for a highly awaited email session though a tad under par. But I'm not complaining.
Fuck with Brian more and get him to say more funny shit.
---------------------------------------
bahhh baaaahhhh, this is most of your audience. "oh, it was okay but still, here's a +2 because you will attack me if i give anything else"
*******************************************************************
*******************************************************************
Don't you DARE use me, you lopsided loser. See that HIGHLY AWAITED -??? You're a damned psycho. Go away, got no friends fat boy. Tom is cool and you aren't even on the same planet you cockroach. DO NOT QUOTE ME EVER AGAIN.
Isn't your bath about ready? (And I've cut your phone line so no chance of a last ditch 911 call.)
* I'd say "tear his ass up" lolope but should we really encourage the doppelganger?
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:02:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Shlongy, thanks for the input.
I actually like NINE. It was my football/baseball/basketball number waaaaay back in the day. Now it's how many cups of coffee I drink in a day.
I might make a tenth, though... just to piss off satan.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:02:07 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i know you posted decent stuff before you made MVA. I read it. I liked it, AT THE TIME. Now you are old-hat and stale, your time has run its course and you need to stop posting. you dont care about me or my words yet your reply to me everytime, so i must be hitting the truth somewhere along the line
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:01:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmmmm.... most heated for Tom.
Submitted by ess-arr (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:01:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
good times
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 12:00:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:54:11 (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm pretty sure the more i keep at it, the better i look. i want people to see this post and call tom for what he is, a pathetic excuse for a poster when many others are so much better yet ignored.
----
This sentiment started from people the second I hit the MVA. Before that, I was someone post peopel considered to be one of the better underground writers on the site. It's funny what happens when you make that little list on the left...
And if you go back to before the e-mail series, I posted some pretty decent stuff. Now, I just post what's on my mind or these e-mail things because people like to read it. You don't, and that's fine. But honestly, get over yourself. No one cares what you think.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:59:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
By the way, Tom, I agree there should be at least one more of these. Make it an even 10 part series.
Submitted by hollygolitely (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:59:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:58:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
And if you think better writers are being ignored because too many people are clicking on Tom's post, why don't you go rate those people so their post will show up on the MRR list and get more readers? Instead you are just commenting over and over here, keeping this on the MMR, and effectively aiding in it taking attention away from these "better" writers you speak of.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:57:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Geez...
Submitted by L-Gizzle (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:56:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
not as funny as the others, but still good. i think one more should do. i mean, you can't finish on a fucked number like 9, right?
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:56:27 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:54:29 (#)
Ranking: -2
Tommy- Some of these, I admit, I enjoyed and rated them accordingly.
This one wasn't funny. But at least you seemingly do have a cool boss.
Time to retire the series, nancyboy.
-------------------------------------
so, so true
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:55:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually 14 different people have rated it (not including myself) and it's only been posted for about half an hour... oh, and this is lunchtime for some people.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:55:36 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah.... 13 and 6 are the same number.
So um... you can't read... you can't count... you can't write... you can't even properly piss people off...
What's your purpose here again?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:54:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Tommy- Some of these, I admit, I enjoyed and rated them accordingly.
This one wasn't funny. But at least you seemingly do have a cool boss.
Time to retire the series, nancyboy.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:54:11 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i'm pretty sure the more i keep at it, the better i look. i want people to see this post and call tom for what he is, a pathetic excuse for a poster when many others are so much better yet ignored.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:53:47 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, and I actually have plenty of friends. Nice use of a generic insult...
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:53:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Satan, did you ever think that I'm trying to bait you into replying more? Did that ever cross your mind?
Seriously, keep them coming. You think I'm overrated, the majority of people here would disagree.
And for the last time, I DON'T CARE IF YOU WATCH SOUTH PARK, genius! Hell, I like South Park, too. I said you sound like the goth kids from that show.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:52:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
odd how only 6 people total have rated...
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:52:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I want to come work at your office. Everyone here sucks my shit-hole (except for Ro and Adrian - shout out you guys).
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:49:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He doesn't need the last word to look "right", Satan. In fact the more you talk, the more "right" he comes off.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:48:53 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Doesn't bother me, he's an idiot. Go toe to toe with him for all I care.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:48:17 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
because i know what you want: the last word that makes you sound like you're right. I'm not a goth kid, south park is alright, and i think that you are overrated. I call you a sheep because that is metaphorically what you are. you aren't smart enough to actually try and debase me so you call me a goth kid and hope i go away. i wont go away tom, until everyone truly sees that this is pre-fabricated ironic bullshit because you actually have no friends.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:47:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry, Tom, you want me to stop arguing with him? I'm skipping school today, an just looking to fill the hours. I can find somewhere/someone else to provoke if it bothers you.
Submitted by southernmiss (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:46:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These are one of my favorite things to read. I look forward to more.
Is Brian married, and is Gordon Johncock his porn name?
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:45:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
He said you were LIKE the kids on South Park, not that you LIKED South Park. Reading comprehension, love. I'm drawing your bath.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:44:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
No dumbass, that's what you sound like. Using "You're a sheep" as your main argument makes you sound just like them. I don't have a fucking clue why you have a personal problem with me, I am nothing more than words on the internet. You will never meet me, I do not affect you in any way. So why bother? Why get so pissed off at me? That's two replies since you said you were not going to reply again, and I'm betting I'll see a third.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:42:10 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
if that last comment didn't just show everyone how stupid you really are tom, then i don't know what will calling me a goth kid who likes south park. good one man, way to show me up.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:39:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
This exchange made me laugh.
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Eric
Subject: re: Well
Good point. After all, and a stitch in time saves nine.
--
To: Eric
From: Tom Sorrell
Subject: re: Well
You can say that again.
--
To: Tom Sorrell
From: Eric
Subject: re: Well
A stitch in time saves nine.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:38:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't you just say you were not going to reply again? liar
Anyway, I don't attack anyone but Shlongy and that's more of a friendly hate type of thing. You're just an idiot. And the fact that people like something does not make them sheep. Let me guess, you're a goth kid who hates conformists, right? You're like the kids on South Park.
You are a loser.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:35:53 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:34:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's all about Brian you know. He IS the Man!
Thank you for a highly awaited email session though a tad under par. But I'm not complaining.
Fuck with Brian more and get him to say more funny shit.
---------------------------------------
bahhh baaaahhhh, this is most of your audience. "oh, it was okay but still, here's a +2 because you will attack me if i give anything else"
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:35:30 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Satan, honey, (there's something I never thought I'd say) can you do something for me? Please? Just a little favor...
Go buy yourself some chocolate and champagne. Light some candles. Put on some soft, happy music, and slip into a nice warm bubble bath. Show yourself a little love, and take a moment to relax. Think about things you like about yourself, revel in some happy memories. Let all that self-hate that you are projecting onto everyone here just wash away.
And then, as your whole body sighs in comfort and relief...
Slit your wrists.
Trust me, it'll be better that way.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:35:00 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Chandler was the only character on the show that I didn't want to punch in the face.
Submitted by Monarch (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:34:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Eric is cool.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:34:12 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
i know you've probably already responded to this but i dont care. this is my last review for you because i know you are one of the biggest attention slores at this site no matter how you look at it.
Submitted by Silk (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:34:03 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
It's all about Brian you know. He IS the Man!
Thank you for a highly awaited email session though a tad under par. But I'm not complaining.
Fuck with Brian more and get him to say more funny shit.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:33:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Not to be arrogant, but:
User id: 4104
# Messages posted: 155
# Times these posts have been reviewed : 6000
# Hits: 230130
Average rating of all messages: 1.31
I think I'll be ok without your love and support, bitch.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:31:25 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Suuurrre. Blame the wife. You want to be Chandler and you know it. Come on, you can admit it. We're here for you.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:30:45 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
maybe because, oh i dont know, I DONT WANT TO WRITE ANYTHING. YOU DO FUCKWAD, and while im at it ill talk to you till i'm blue in the face, not a fucking thing you can do. i call you a sheep because you and your brethren continue to stupify yourselves with this pathetic jargon. so FUCK YOU tom sorrell, come back and talk to me when YOU write something deserving or creative. this is old-hat now, like the eighteenth season of the power rangers.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:29:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:25:45 (#)
Ranking: 2
The thing about the bears and putting the whole building in danger had me laughing very hard..which is not good when one has a chest cold. But this is a great series, regardless of what the turd below said
-----------------
For those who don't know, that's a line from Anchorman, which Eric and I reference in e-mails all the time.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:29:10 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by foodman (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:24:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:18:43 (#)
Ranking: -1
this series has officially run its course
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
..No it hasn't. Keep em coming.
-------------------------------
and a hearty chuckle was had by all
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:28:13 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
On the next one, you gotta sling around lines like:
"It would compromise my mission"
"It's a matter of national security"
"I'm working undercover. Stop calling me by my real name unless you want me to get killed."
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:28:08 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually the wife watched Friends. I just sat with her while she watched it.
Satan, when you contribute anything... anything AT ALL, to this site come talk to me. And guess what, fuck-o, your rating only counts once, so feel free to -2 until your heart explodes.
And "sheep"? How the fuck am I a sheep? Get over yourself.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:27:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I love Friends.
Pity I haven't got any.
:-(
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:25:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I still love these
Submitted by FATMANTPK (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:25:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
The thing about the bears and putting the whole building in danger had me laughing very hard..which is not good when one has a chest cold. But this is a great series, regardless of what the turd below said
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:25:15 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
hahaha
-2 for retaliating, sheep. THIS IS A FUCKING OLD-HAT NOW MAN, GET OVER YOURSELF. i dont try to be humorous like shlongy, i point out the injustices of this site, like people kissing your ass
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:24:40 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
not as good as the rest but still better than most other posts
Submitted by foodman (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:24:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:18:43 (#)
Ranking: -1
this series has officially run its course
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
..No it hasn't. Keep em coming.
Submitted by lojope (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:22:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh my.... Tom Sorrell watches Friends.
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:19:59 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Satan, you're an idiot. No one cares what you think. Even Shlongy has better things to say than you.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-10 11:18:43 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
this series has officially run its course