I'm going to kill the employees at Taco Bell (5098 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0.69 on 30 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SG The Platypus Master (View user info) at 2005-03-11 15:12:35 EST
Of all the fast food places I've been to recently, Taco Bell has not been one of them. I used to love Taco Bell, and when I wanted to eat fast food, more than likely it would either be between them, or Wendy's.
However, recently, I've come to the the conclusion that Taco Bell sucks major balls. I mean major, hairy, donkey balls. Aside from their fiesta bowls, nothing there is good anymore. And I know for a fact that it is nor just the specific Taco Bell I go to. Every Taco Bell in my area has succumbed to the shitiness that they are now. This has led me to come to one conclusion:
Taco Bell employees need to die.
Here, I will list specific cases that will help you understand my reasoning on this.
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Case #1 - Sour Cream
When the hell did it become so necessary for tacos to be drenched in sour cream? Sure, sour cream is awesome; it provides a nice contrasting taste with anything you eat. But when you buy a taco and it tastes like you're eating a tortilla filled with sour cream, it's completely nasty. This is one of the major reasons I decided to stop going to Taco Bell. Last week, however, while returning home from a friends house, I became unexpectedly hungry. The only thing close was a Taco Bell, so I thought to myself, "Hey, I'll just ask for no sour cream!"
It was a simple plan. However, the process would not be as simple.
I entered the Taco Bell, and went up to the counter; no one else was in line. The employee, asked me what I wanted. I told him, "I want a Chicken Chalupa, with Baja sauce...." The employee began to enter my order into the machine. "...with no sour cream."
As I said these words the employee looked up at me in shock. "What?" he said.
"I want a Chicken Chalupa, with Baja sauce, and no sour cream," I repeated. He stared at me bewildered. After a few seconds he walked away to talk to a manager. I'm not very fluent in Spanish but I got the jist of what they were saying.
Employee: "This guy, he wants NO sour cream!"
Manager: "NO sour cream? Impossible! He must have meant ALL sour cream."
Employee: "No, no, he said NO sour cream."
They continued to talk for a short while, and then the manager came up to me with the employee behind him. "What is it that you want sir?" he asked me.
"I want a Chicken Chalupa, Baja sauce, no sour cream," I repeated again. The manager looked blankly at me, as if he was trying to stare me down. I didn't let him. After what seemed to be the longest 5 seconds of my life, he spoke.
Manager: "I'm sorry, we can't do that."
What?! 'We can't do that'?!?! I must say that I didn't expect them to say that of all things. At least make up a good excuse like, 'We mixed the sour cream with the chicken', or 'Our sour cream doesn't have semen in it anymore. You should try it!'. But 'We can't do that'? What kind of bullshit is that?
Me: "Why not?"
Manager: "Because you have to get the sour cream if you order the Baja sauce."
Me: "....OK. I want the regular sauce."
Manager: "I'm sorry, you have to get the sour cream if you order the regular sauce."
Me: "....I want the sauce that doesn't need any sour cream."
Manager: "I'm sorry, there is none."
Me: "....................Look. It's not that hard. In fact, it's much easier than what you normally have to do. You DON'T have to put any sour cream on my Chalupa. That's less work for you, and a better taste for me. No - quiero - un - sour - creamo."
Manager: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Me: "Yea! I AM going to leave! I'm gonna leave cause I feel like it, not because you told me to. If you told me to then I wouldn't leave because I'm not gonna listen to you, but I'm gonna leave cause you guys suck!"
So I left. I didn't want their shitty semen tacos anyway.
Cock gobblers.
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Case #2 - It takes a half hour for 10 people to make 1 Fiesta Bowl?
This occured during my Taco Bell days, when I liked going to Taco Bell. The Fiesta Bowl had just been released, and from what I saw in the commercials, it looked damn good. So one night, I decided I would stop by Taco Bell to get one. And when I say "night", I mean midnight. It was after my sisters graduation, which started at 6:00; that means I had no dinner, and I was starving.
So I stop by at Taco Bell and go inside. There's absolutely no one in there, except for the employees. I go up to the counter thinking, "I'm gonna be outta here fast."
How wrong I was.
I went up to the counter, ordered my Fiesta Bowl, and then spaced out, not paying attention to anything. It must have been about 10 minutes before I realized what I was doing, and I looked back up to see if my Fiesta Bowl was ready. It wasn't. I looked around confused. Amid all of the ovens and other kitchen stuff, I saw a black plastic bowl, half filled with beans.
Beans, and nothing else. As I looked on I saw that the employees, about 10 of them, were in the back talking. One of them spotted me looking, and rushed back to the bowl, filling it with lettuce. I decided not to saying anything, and waited patiently. When he was done with the lettuce, he passed it on to someone else so he could put on the tomatoes, and by god I swear to you, that man was the slowest man, EVER.
He placed a tomato one at a time. At first I admired the fact that he was trying to make the bowl look perfect, but after a while, it got extremely irritating.
Me: "Excuse me, I'm kind of in a rush. Do you think you could make it any faster?"
Employee: "Oh I'm sorry."
He finished with the tomatoes quickly and passed it on again to another person who was to put on...something. I don't remember exactly what vegetable or bean it was, but it was something. Anyway, she took a handful of it and put it on the bowl. "Nice," I thought, "I'm gonna be able to eat this thing soon." But then out of nowhere this other girl comes in and starts screaming at her in Spanish, telling her that she did it all wrong. The girl putting the stuff on starts yelling too and they start pulling each others hair and shit.
For another 10 minutes they're fighting while everyone else just stands there watching, and my Fiesta Bowl sits there incomplete. Finally, the manager comes in from a back room, probably whacking off the entire time, breaks up the fight, and tells one of the employees to finish my bowl. He does so, and I leave the Taco Bell exhausted. I get into the car and look at the clock.
12:35 AM. It took them 35 minutes to make one fucking bowl.
Fucking assholes.
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Case #3 - Learn to speaking fucking English
This is pretty self-explanatory.
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Case #4 - Your customers are a bunch of fat assholes.
Yea, this really doesn't have anything to do with the employees, but it still pisses me off, so I like to put them in the same category, and both need to die. Just about 90% of the time I've been to Taco Bell, some picky douchebag has to bitch and moan about how they put a piece of lettuce on his taco when they asked him not to. He fucking argues with the employees for 10 minutes, and then they have to make him another fucking taco, making me wait for another 10 minutes.
Is a fucking piece of lettuce going to kill you? Go to hell you fat piece of lazy shit, at least they somewhat did what they asked you to. I'll still get a gallon of sour cream on my taco when I ask them not to. Maybe if you didn't eat at Taco Bell every fucking day you wouldn't be so lethally obese, but that's not enough for you is it? Noooo, you have to get your fucking taco exactly how you want it, don't you? Why don't you go suck a dick.
Bitch.
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As you can see, these 4 examples are perfect reasons of why you, yes YOU, should stop going to Taco Bell for the rest of your life. Until they start hiring semi-intelligent employees who don't look at you funny and then talk to the guy next to them in Spanish, so that it looks like their talking about you (God I want to fucking bash their heads into the counter when they do that), I call a Taco Bell strike.
If you are with me, go to Burger King and get an Angus Bacon Chedder Ranch Burger, RIGHT NOW.
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P.S: If you are a Taco Bell employee......
User Reviews
Submitted by weasul (user info) at 2006-02-27 16:47:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by melov (user info) at 2006-02-17 10:48:20 (#)
Ranking: -2
I've been working at a Taco Bell for about 5 months now here in Ohio. Let me be the first to say you're an idiot. Sour Cream comes in canisters which are put in guns and then squirted onto tacos. There is absolutely no way they mixed the chicken with sour cream. Second, there is no way they put a ton of sour cream on each taco. There are portion rules and I'm sure if they did that their icos would be way down and their GM would get fired instantly. Third, there is no way they had 10 workers in their store at midnight. The store is only allowed to give out a certain amount of hours each day/week, otherwise they won't make profit. Around midnight the store is going to have max 4 people. Also the dinning room in just about every taco bell closes at 10. So in conclusion you're an idiot and a complusive liar so go die.
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Portions are never adhered to in any fast food restaraunt. 10 workers is obviously an exageration for effect. Almost every Taco Bell I've been to closes their dining room at or around midnight.
This story hated on Taco Bell, but it failed. I really want some right now. Last time I went to Taco Bell they announced my number and as I was walking up the lady said "Who the fuck is 234?"
Submitted by melov (user info) at 2006-02-27 16:27:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
yea I'm a tool just because I put this complete idiot in his place. He was bored and decided to talk about something he hates so he made 90% of it up to look cool.
Submitted by breakfastmaster (user info) at 2006-02-17 11:22:38 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by melov (user info) at 2006-02-17 10:48:20 (#)
Ranking: -2
I've been working at a Taco Bell for about 5 months now here in Ohio. Let me be the first to say you're an idiot. Sour Cream comes in canisters which are put in guns and then squirted onto tacos. There is absolutely no way they mixed the chicken with sour cream. Second, there is no way they put a ton of sour cream on each taco. There are portion rules and I'm sure if they did that their icos would be way down and their GM would get fired instantly. Third, there is no way they had 10 workers in their store at midnight. The store is only allowed to give out a certain amount of hours each day/week, otherwise they won't make profit. Around midnight the store is going to have max 4 people. Also the dinning room in just about every taco bell closes at 10. So in conclusion you're an idiot and a complusive liar so go die.
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As far as the portion rules are concerned, I too had my fast food days, and those mean nothing. At
Subway, you're only supposed to put 6 olive slices on a foot long sub. How many times have you seen
that rule shit on? As far as ten employees working in the store at midnight, wouldn't it be weird if
maybe, just MAYBE, there was an exaggeration (on Uber, of all forums) used to literary effect?
You're a tool. I hope you get stabbed by a truck.
Submitted by melov (user info) at 2006-02-17 10:48:20 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
I've been working at a Taco Bell for about 5 months now here in Ohio. Let me be the first to say you're an idiot. Sour Cream comes in canisters which are put in guns and then squirted onto tacos. There is absolutely no way they mixed the chicken with sour cream. Second, there is no way they put a ton of sour cream on each taco. There are portion rules and I'm sure if they did that their icos would be way down and their GM would get fired instantly. Third, there is no way they had 10 workers in their store at midnight. The store is only allowed to give out a certain amount of hours each day/week, otherwise they won't make profit. Around midnight the store is going to have max 4 people. Also the dinning room in just about every taco bell closes at 10. So in conclusion you're an idiot and a complusive liar so go die.
Submitted by ChesterTheJester (user info) at 2005-03-12 10:05:45 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
When checking for hepatise(fuck off I can't spell it) the doc asks
Have you hand sex with any strangers?
done intravenus drug?
Eaten taco bell recently?
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-03-11 21:13:05 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-03-11 20:23:57 (#)
Ranking: 1
Everyone in this post's reviews included the words "Taco Bell" except: Stabkill, Adamdidit2u, Zackstersmackster, nrduncan, AsshOly, RamJetMax, EAZEDZT, PsychoDan, sg11588, forensicgirl3
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...and?
Submitted by BedOfHog (user info) at 2005-03-11 20:23:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Everyone in this post's reviews included the words "Taco Bell" except: Stabkill, Adamdidit2u, Zackstersmackster, nrduncan, AsshOly, RamJetMax, EAZEDZT, PsychoDan, sg11588, forensicgirl3
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2005-03-11 20:13:02 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Gave you a +1 even though even mentioning Taco Hell makes me projectile vomit.
I got a wicked case of food poisoning from there that almost killed me 10 years ago. Haven't been back since.
Every now and then I'll go to the drive through and wait until they get on the speaker to take my order. Then I scream "Drop the tacos! Do you want to die?! May God have mercy on your souls for eating Satan's bowel movements!"
Then I have to speed off because at this point the cops are on their way.
Yes, really, I DO do this!
Submitted by olivia_tremor_control (user info) at 2005-03-11 20:11:15 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
a good rant, i love taco bell. where else can i get half a pound of bean burrito-y goodness(/badness) for only a dollar? by the way im quote skinny, and taco bell is the only fast food restaurant i eat at.
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-03-11 18:58:22 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by PsychoDan (user info) at 2005-03-11 18:30:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
Did it ever occur to you that the reason they couldn't give you your whatever with sauce without sour cream is because the sauce is, in fact, made with sour cream?
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No, the sauce is basically salsa, and it is not made with sour cream. They put on the sour cream separately.
Submitted by PsychoDan (user info) at 2005-03-11 18:30:50 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Did it ever occur to you that the reason they couldn't give you your whatever with sauce without sour cream is because the sauce is, in fact, made with sour cream?
Submitted by ac21587 (user info) at 2005-03-11 18:24:17 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
my friend works at our local taco bell and he told me how one weekend night this big huge fat kid comes in and orders just about everything on the menu. he sits down and eats it all, taking him close to an hour, then stands up amongst all the other half drunk customers and yells out, "I'M FULL!"...haha, true story
Submitted by EAZEDZT (user info) at 2005-03-11 17:49:48 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Feijuada (user info) at 2005-03-11 17:35:06 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
One time I was late for school, but I was next to the Taco Bell and I decided that waiting ten minutes for it to open wouldn't be too bad. They took an extra FORTY MINUTES to open, and I refused to leave because I was stubborn.
Submitted by RamJetMax (user info) at 2005-03-11 16:51:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
what about the case-a-DILLA?
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-03-11 16:20:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Another
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2005-03-11 16:20:01 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Dude, yes. http://www.ubersite.com/m/50146
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2005-03-11 16:17:03 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sg11588 (user info) at 2005-03-11 16:09:41 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-03-11 15:21:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Just about 90% of the time I've been to Taco Bell, some picky douchebag has to bitch and moan about how they put a piece of lettuce on his taco when they asked him not to
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Oh the irony, sour cream boy.....
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I know...but at least i'm not some picky douchebag...
Submitted by Zackstersmackster (user info) at 2005-03-11 15:31:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I could pretty much bitch about a fast food experience anywhere, they all piss me off.
Nobody pisses me off as much as Wal*Mart employees, though, and that's another post all together.
Submitted by Adamdidit2u (user info) at 2005-03-11 15:29:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
good rant
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2005-03-11 15:24:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
You know if you call Taco Bell corporate and complain, they may listen.
I called that 800 number they have after they fucked up my order again for the 10th time in row (and I don't mean 'a bunch of times' I mean it was the 10th consecutive time they got my order wrong, it was kinda funny after the first few times, since I knew they would screw it up) and they gave all kinds of coupons for free food.
Of course, that would require you to redeem those coupons, but what you could do is to walk in the store, buy a bunch of 'food' with the freebies, then just out and leave, like a protest statement or something. Plus think of the poor drone who would wander the store aimlessly "Nummer fitty-five?"
Submitted by Stabkill (user info) at 2005-03-11 15:23:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
BLITZKREIG_BOB ... You'd love del taco, but I don't think there are any in your area.
Submitted by Sassmasterr (user info) at 2005-03-11 15:23:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
taco bell pwns all.
i worked there back in the day and it was pretty cool. i don't ever remember shit like that happenening (your troubles and woes) so maybe it's just an isolated thing.
i loved having control of what i made. i'd usually hook the customers up (not being stingy with things) but when it came to me making MY food...oh man. i'd put a pound of steak in one of those big ass tortilla soft wraps, put some good shit in there and masturbate. it was that good.
working there (for 2 months) was worth it only for the combinations i got to experience.
get a bowl of red sauce and nacho cheese, mix it together, and dip your shit in it. heaven on earth my friend.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-11 15:22:19 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Taco Bell is gross. Their food smells like diarrhea.
Submitted by Pentameter (user info) at 2005-03-11 15:21:57 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
As valid as your points are, I can never stop going to Taco Bell.
I'm addicted. It's the heroin they put in there.
Submitted by WhatTheHell (user info) at 2005-03-11 15:21:29 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Just about 90% of the time I've been to Taco Bell, some picky douchebag has to bitch and moan about how they put a piece of lettuce on his taco when they asked him not to
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Oh the irony, sour cream boy.....
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2005-03-11 15:20:51 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Taco bell was alright to eat until they started hiring all them mexicans.
Submitted by Hadooken (user info) at 2005-03-11 15:18:49 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
there is this chick at taco bell in my area i wouldnt mind doing.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2005-03-11 15:15:04 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Taco Bell used to be cool because they're cheap. They aren't anymore.