Tonight is a Fucking Night and a Half (564 hits)
Category: Quotes & Stories -> PoetryRating: 0.4 on 8 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by GuyDude (View user info) at 2005-03-12 15:28:01 EST
Tonight I'm in a town
where a monster roams the streets
and everyone desperately searches
for something to talk about
but all people come up with is drugs,
and when they check the time,
which is frequent,
they say it's ten minutes ahead,
every minute hangs heavily
on my tired eyes
as I judge what answer best
camouflages the truth.
Tonight I'm in a home
where the rooms are disheveled,
the walls are peeled and stained
and there is a smell
that takes over my entire body
and brings vomit to the back of my throat
as I fake some intimacy
with my closest friend and he, in return,
makes his best half-assed attempt
at a cry for help—
approaching the edge of honesty,
I retreat, stumbling
over my twisted tongue.
Tonight I'm in a town
where everyone is desperately hoping
for something to challenge the way they live,
but is so afraid of what would happen
if something did,
and I'm in a home
where everyone is quietly dying,
but I'm going to stay here
because the only thing that keeps it
from collapse on itself
is a solid routine
that must be timidly followed
by its disciples
without question.
User Reviews
Submitted by GuyDude (user info) at 2005-03-14 19:07:20 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah I didn't have a title so I just threw on a title with Fuck in it for these slobs.
That's what every town I'm in is like... weird.
Submitted by lisist (user info) at 2005-03-12 22:24:12 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
P.S. I don't like the title
Submitted by lisist (user info) at 2005-03-12 22:15:58 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I liked the flow, not boring, kept the reader going, but the editor in me wishes you to check the thrid stanza. Nicely done overall, any longer and the repetition would have driven me insane, and shorter, and well, it would have been pointless....so it that what MA is like, I bet you can't wait to get back to IC then, well the two don't seem too different to me, but thats another story.
Submitted by GuyDude (user info) at 2005-03-12 21:24:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
wow, I'm getting some really informative comments here.
Submitted by Howie_Felter (user info) at 2005-03-12 18:01:54 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by youarsoghey (user info) at 2005-03-12 16:44:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the username.
Submitted by Socialist_Joe (user info) at 2005-03-12 16:27:46 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
cookie death
Submitted by mikethescottish (user info) at 2005-03-12 16:10:37 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucking love this. And I don't say that about much.