My Mail is Retarded. (525 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: -2 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by cwl989 (View user info) at 2005-03-14 22:59:31 EST
There are some people I just hate. Most of the time there's no real reason for it, but there is for this new addition to the list: Toni Carter.
For those of you who don't know who Toni Carter is, let me explain: she's the current DFL-endorsed candidate for St. Paul, MN Ramsey County Commissioner. Normally, the DFL endorsement would make me want to support her. That was before I took a peek at her flyer, and saw the inherent stupidity therein.
After seeing this flyer, I've decided to launch my own little campaign against her in the form of this Uber rant. This probably won't make much difference since the elections are tomorrow; but I had to do it for my own sake. Let's take a brief look at the simple-minded slogans that this slate uses.
"We need to change the way we deliver services to create real opportunities for people to succeed."
Have you ever heard someone spout such nonsensical bullshit? I took this inane phrase to all the authorities: my english teacher, my mom, Shaq, God, Bill Gates, and Buddha. They all agreed that it could only mean one thing: absolutely nothing. Thats right; read it again and you'll begin to realize it's really just a jargon of words thrown together. Pitiful.
"We must focus first on the outcomes we want to see."
Really? Gosh Toni, here I was always focusing on things I DIDN'T want to see happen. Silly me, always striving towards outcomes I don't need like World War III and another four years of Republican presidency. Thank you very much, Captain Dipshit.
"We need to put our arms around the whole need."
Whatever you say, Jacko. Just don't be putting your arms around me. Two words, soul-sista: molestation lawsuit.
"We should recognize that we all have the same hopes and dreams."
Since when? I'm a unique little snowflake here, and I don't have the same hopes and dreams as you. How many people have the dream of doing Adrian Lima in a swimming pool of Jello? Not you, thats for sure. Unless you have some seriously kinky skeletons in your closet, that is.
"When everyone does we, we all do better."
This one impressed me. Congratulations, Toni, you've accomplished the unthinkable: you've dumbed down common sense. I didn't think it could be done, but there you are setting new standards in stupidity. How much more obvious could you be? Read that line ten times over, and let your brain sink into the absurd mind-fuck of this campaign.
Please, don't let idiots like these get into positions of power.
User Reviews
Submitted by Fleadh (user info) at 2005-03-15 06:36:14 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
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For those of you who don't know who Toni Carter is, let me explain: she's the current DFL-endorsed candidate for St. Paul, MN Ramsey County Commissioner. Normally, the DFL endorsement would make me want to support her.
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Still have no idea who the fuck she is, nor do I care, Keep your dumb fuck local politics off my screen.
Submitted by Fartman (user info) at 2005-03-15 05:11:30 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-03-14 23:08:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
Drivel! I almost tore my dick off in disgust.
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Hahahahahah. This comment was soooo much better than the post. Ahahahahahaha.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-03-14 23:08:38 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Drivel! I almost tore my dick off in disgust.