racquet ball interrogation, and trying not to laugh at the very small fat women that we cut off. (799 hits)
Category: GraphicsRating: 0.67 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by hungovermondays (View user info) at 2005-03-16 12:09:24 EST
It's Monday, the second day of my "weekend," so I'm hungover from barely wine and German beer. I'm not hurting too bad because I'd remembered to eat my melatonin, an herbal pill that insures a solid 8 hours sleep, and takes the edge off all but the very worst of immoderate drinking.
Ate a hunk of corned beef, sucked down a bucket of coffee, and was ready to play my buddy Pat, physical education major and occasional madman in a game of racquetball.
Instead of going to the Y, we try the racquetball court at the university Pat attends. Devoid of observation windows, pale white walls smudged with blackened ball marks, the room resembled a larger version of the interrogation chamber where they ask you questions about your government.
The first wave of body hangover hits me after game 3, and only the slow witted, stubborn desire to beat a man 8 years my junior allows me to clean him out 6 games in a row.
On the drive home, Pat almost misses my turn, and startlingly cuts the wheel to compensate.
We cut off a women in the right lane and as she hits the brakes I watch dumbly as her car skids directly into the passenger side where I am seated. Hungover and retarded, I stare as the car seems to just miss us.
Dazed and laughing, two blocks later, Pat notices the car is following us. I start looking around the jeep for a blunt object that I'm likely going to have to brandish to dissuade the angry driver from attacking Pat.
We stop, and I check the rearview, hoping to god that it isn't a large man driving, I just wasn't looking forward to getting beat down, going to the hospital or jail on my day off.
Instead it was the fattest little women I had seen in recent memory, could not have been over five feet, with her mongoloid son in the passenger seat. The women was by this time outside her car, furious, yelling at Pat.
"I don't know how you drive in Maryland, but up here you gots to pay attention. Look what you did to my car. (Small black scuff marks on bumper, kinda like the walls of the racquetball court.) You gots to pay attention. How long you had your licence. You gots to pay attention. You gots to pay attention...pay attention, You gots to pay attention."
Anyway, we endure this women saying the same thing over and over until she looks over at me and I smirk, then look away to conceal a laugh. She was just so small that her anger was funny looking, like seeing an obese bunny go into a rage.
Pat just keeps mumbling incoherently until the women finally leaves.
Here is a paint representation of the episode.
User Reviews
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2005-03-16 13:00:49 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Funny story.
Kai, why are you in such a bitchy mood today? Damn.
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:45:24 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:31:56 (#)
Ranking: 0
Chinaski is another alter of Uber's biggest loser, CollegeGuy/Steven Durel/MaxiPad, and he wants to have sex with me. Ask Adamdidit2u, he knows. This post sucked, but please don't whine like Chinky. We'll all get over it eventually.
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good advice
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:31:56 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Chinaski is another alter of Uber's biggest loser, CollegeGuy/Steven Durel/MaxiPad, and he wants to have sex with me. Ask Adamdidit2u, he knows. This post sucked, but please don't whine like Chinky. We'll all get over it eventually.
Submitted by hungovermondays (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:31:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:15:23 (#)
Ranking: -1
i read the title and thought "finally, a decent ubersite post" because this last week has sucked uber-wise. oh, how wrong i was.
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Hey Jabba, thanks for the input buddy.
Submitted by Chinaski (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:23:23 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, don't mind Kai, you should see the shit he pulls... coming back and -2'ing an old post he's -2'ed before, a few weeks later, with some comment like "still ghey". Yes, Kai, you are still ghey. Thanks for reminding me.
Anyway, melatonin works wonders, another thing I do to beat the hangover is take ginkgo biloba, a pill at night and a pill every morning, and now I'm starting something called "TMG" which... well, fuck the chemistry. I'll let you know how my new supplemental regime works out. Anything for more energy and alertness so I can drink and smoke pot at a sustained level my whole life!
Funny post. Fat people are great cuz you can laugh at their weight AND at their self-loathing problem (laughing innocently at Kai).
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:19:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
Must have been barely a hangover if you were drinking barely wine...
Submitted by Satansgotsyphillis (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:15:23 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
i read the title and thought "finally, a decent ubersite post" because this last week has sucked uber-wise. oh, how wrong i was.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:12:42 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
I thought it was funny.
Don't mind kai, I think it's his time of the month.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2005-03-16 12:11:29 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
Wow taunting fat women, how original. Yawn.